Family & Relationships - 29 October 2007

My friend's scenario:
One spouse (H=husband) abuses alcohol and drugs, leaving the other to care for the house and children. H does keep a job, but is not dependable to his family in any other way, even at times failing to show up for his time with the kids (who adore him) when he's not working b/c he's off getting trashed... This has hurt the children's feelings numerous times, which they've vocalized, but he is definitely NOT physically abusive to anyone, although he seems careless enough to drive with one or both kids after drinking, but just up the street...

How do you weigh it out on behalf of yourself and your children?
What is worse for them: going through this or living without a Dad in the home?

2007-10-29 07:39:20 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

Before I had my first son I was really into having sex, now that I have my second son I really dont have any sex drive and it really bothers me. I want to enjoy it again! I dont want my husband to worry about the fact that when he wants to make love to me, he is afraid that I wont want to or I wont get into it..It's starting to show its wear and tear in our marriage! What can I do, I feel like Ive tried everything that I can do even though I know I havent! I just want to be normal in my love life again with my life partner! I love him with everything I have and he doesn't think so anymore..It really hurts me that I cant provide one of the important parts of love!

2007-10-29 07:39:09 · 5 answers · asked by Momma 4 in Marriage & Divorce

My husband and I have been having some troubles lately, we have been married for 9 years. A few weeks back we had a huge fight and he took off for the weekend. Let me explain it was my fault for the fight I kept a bill of mine from him and he found out and was very upset. He returned and we talked everything over and decided to try again. Now I have recently confirmed that during my husband weekend getaway he met another woman. I found out that he has been talking to her and they have been sending explicit photos of each other via cell phone. I confronted him and he said that he did meet her (let me add that she lives about 6 hours away from us) and that they did not have sex, they are only friends, ya right.
We are still living together and I am not sure what to do. Any suggestions? Anyone stay together after finding out that their spouse cheated and it actually worked. I would love to hear your stories and advice. You can also email me privately via Yahoo answers. Thanks!

2007-10-29 07:38:00 · 27 answers · asked by boobunny 2 in Marriage & Divorce

I guess my question here is to people who are going, or have gone through what I am. Am I a bad person?
We got married after finding out I was pregnant, and we had tons of issues before and after we got married. We split up last year for about 8 months. I met someone else, and ended up pregnant. He wanted me back the entire time we were split, and he still wanted me back when he found out I was pregnant. I no longer had feelings for the guy I was with, so I went back with my husband. I know all of this sounds terrible, but my husband was abusive when we were together before. I mean abusive, not just mean or rude, but mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. Since we have been back together, he has been about 98% better than he used to be, and really a lot of people would probably be jealous of the "marriage" we have now. I can tell that he really intensely loves me now, but my heart is somewhere else. It's like I'm still waiting on some other guy, and I don't like it.

2007-10-29 07:36:25 · 9 answers · asked by Whitty 1 in Marriage & Divorce

My husband likes bigger butts, smaller boobs, and brown eyes, but he married me, petite, nice but small butt, and 34D bra.....

He says he doesn't care that much about the physical, but I know he said he does think those things look better to him, and more beautiful...

So why didn't he just marry that? I don't get it.

2007-10-29 07:35:31 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

It’s very difficult because no matter how nice I am, there’s still people criticizing me. I get really tired and frustrated because I want to make everyone happy. I’m getting tired of being what they want me to be and it’s very hard to get up everyday trying to be someone else I’m open for any suggestions, what should I do?

2007-10-29 07:35:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

both are texas residents wife caught cheating and you walk in door can you shoot her?

2007-10-29 07:27:19 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

He drinks soda NON-stop. Always fried food, sweets.
He's 30. I'm 20, he's a fireman and he's not too over-weight, yet. I love him regardless, but I'm worried about him.
I ask him to down some water, cook him veggies. But he just says no to the water, and will just snack junk food later. We're building a house and he swears that he'll start working out when we finish. Should I just get used to it? I don't want him teaching these bad habits to our kids... I worry. Help me.

P.S. I'm not a health freak or anything.

2007-10-29 07:22:52 · 11 answers · asked by Katrina 3 in Marriage & Divorce

My husband and I have been struggling with issues of trust for quite some time now. Over the past couple months things were getting quite better. Anyway we both went out Saturday night, to different places and I ended up bumping into a friend, who I have known since I was a youngster. We talked and danced together for two songs......there was no inappropriate touching done by either one of us. My husband walks in and through a fit. He left, got in a fight outside with my brother who was trying to tell him nothing was going on, and was completely raged. Meanwhile I walked home, which was only 2 blocks away, and he came home. Before I could get one word in, he was in my face and grabbed my jaw as hard as possible, yelling at me calling me every name in the book. Later that night.....after I thought he calmed down he got physical with me, then called some girl who he had just met previously that night to come and pick him up. So he left that night and I didnt see him until Sunday

2007-10-29 07:20:34 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

a wedding invitation. However, we want to keep costs low. What is your opinion on having a small family/close friends ceremony in the mountains (3 hours from our home) and maybe a larger gathering later? Ideas, opinions please!

2007-10-29 07:19:32 · 14 answers · asked by Emily D 3 in Weddings

paying my share of the evening out? WTF? Im still kind of stunned. He kept saying that all he wanted was for us to go out and have a good time, then he says, "it doesn't matter, no big deal, but..." We live together, money's been tight but that's getting better. All comments welcome.

2007-10-29 07:19:31 · 8 answers · asked by Boots4ACowgirl 3 in Marriage & Divorce

i love this girl sooo much and i want to be with her i see her every day at work and i know she loves me too!! but my parents HATE black ppl!!! HELP!!

2007-10-29 07:19:18 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Im 24 years old and in love .. been engaged for almost a year to a half black man (black dad,white mom)

Now it's time to plan the marriage and suddenly out of no where my dad said that he wont allow it even if he has to lock me in the basement and he doesnt care if i get upset cuz with time i'll forget about it

The reason why my dad doesnt want me to marry that guy is becuz he's HALF BLACK and is scared of what PEOPLE will say about him as a dad allowing his daughter to marry a (N-word) ..

Plz give me realistic answers .. i want my dad to let me marry the guy i love .. i just cant imagine my life without my fiance' or my dad

Oh more information .. im not even allowed to see my fiance' during my engagement becuz my dad doesnt allow it ..
i have so much respect for my dad and no matter what he does he's still my dad and i should treat him like one and listen to him and i wanna solve this problem keeping both my dad and fiance'

PLZ PLZ i need realistic answers

2007-10-29 07:16:21 · 25 answers · asked by Maria 6 in Marriage & Divorce

I am from a small town and I am secretly seeing my ex and everyone is running around talking about it and telling my ex-fiance that I was cheating on him with this guy and thats why I broke up with him. But that isn't true. the reason I broke up with him was because I wasn't happy, I just happened to start talking to my ex again. why can't people mind their own business? What can I tell my parents so I can secretly stay at my ex's house without them knowing. (I am 21 by the way)

2007-10-29 07:16:09 · 3 answers · asked by Floridagirl 3 in Singles & Dating

does it hurt??

2007-10-29 07:13:04 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Would you see her if she told you that she didn't want to get married but you two got along and she provided creature comforts, if you know what I mean? Is this terrible?

Suppose it is because she doesn't want to get "around" and she knows, trusts and likes you but couldn't be married to you. Should she believe him if he says that he has no problem with that?

2007-10-29 07:11:30 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

Thanks for all the responses. I feel like I should add something. Could it be she has the personality of a male, in regards to freedom. Meaning she has many "options" so doesnt want to get tied down with just one? And generally males have that one girl they hold over the rest, but dont commit to them because they know they will always have a special something. It almost seems like thats my situation. And if this is indeed the situation, should I stick around and wait for her while dating other people as well?

Here is the first question so you can recap...

So this question is somewhat based on my last. If your a girl, and you hang out with a guy alllll the time, are best friends, and are intimate, well then why wouldnt you want to make it an official bf/gf relationship? Are you scared? Or is it simply you're always looking for something or someone better? Am I a fool for even staying around if I want more? Please enlighten me ladies..

2007-10-29 07:09:29 · 1 answers · asked by DazedandConfused 1 in Singles & Dating

My dad has to leave for reasons I don't really want to talk about. But for a while he will prob. be living where this is no heat or furniture. So i am making him a survival bag. Any ideas of what should be in it? So far I have:
-a small thin blanket
-a sheet
-2 pillow cases
-a towel
-2 wash cloths
-my old mp3 player with his oldies songs on it.
- Batteries (i have c and some aa im gonna get some aaa)
-a binder
-alot of paper
-3 small notepads
-a compostition notebook
-a folder
-pens
-playing cards
-a wordserch
-5 pairs of socks
-a plain white shirt
-a small pillow
-3 razors
-a nail clipers
and i think that is it.
The smaller stuff is in a shoe box and the shoe box and the other stuff are in a big black bag.

I want to give him some money, but i don't have alot. I have like 42 dollars how much should i give him? all of it? 30? idk.
What else should i put in there?

2007-10-29 07:04:11 · 15 answers · asked by Ohhemmgee_its_Angie 2 in Family

2007-10-29 07:03:58 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

ive asked her to work, she thinks i make enough money for the both of us, i purchased 2 machines for her to start her own business, shes an estetician cost me close to 30 thousand for these dust gatherers, that she insisted would make us a ton of money, we rent a townhouse, i work my butt off 12hr days etc,if i leave do i have to pay all of the rent and what if her sister moves in with her, would i only have to pay mly wifes half and for how long. please only responses from canadians as i live in mississauga ontario, and am sure laws are different in the states or other provinces, i am self employed with money in the bank but that is to go toward income tax so is that considered an assett, pls help i dont want to screw her over but i dont want to get screwed either

2007-10-29 07:00:42 · 8 answers · asked by marcelo F 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I'm a guy, early 30s, great job, decent looking, love making people laugh. But I don't have a significant other and it's starting to drive me nuts - I wake up nights thinking about it. I've had 3 girlfriends in the past (only one serious - 3 yrs), but very glad those relationships ended for the right reasons. Recently, I had a big crush on this one girl (when I was in b-school), she flirted with me (perhaps to get career advice), then mentioned her BF (who lives in a diff city) off and on and sent mixed signals. At a party, she asked me to dance and we rubbed up on the dance flr, only to get the cold shoulder from her later that week. I ignored her for 2 months thinking she's a flake, she called later, we hung out, but she again gave mixed signals, asked me to meet the next day and blew me off next morning. I go on dates, tried online, but most girls seem superficial, fake or we just don't click. Meanwhile, my friends all have kids! I'm happy, but also aware that I'm getting old. Help!

2007-10-29 07:00:38 · 18 answers · asked by riddler 1 in Singles & Dating

I have a high sex drive but my husband don't. He don't want me to get a toy because he said then i will not have sex with him. i am so into sex why is that? I like to please him also even when he don't ask. he said that i am every guys dream. i want him to get any herbs to higher his drive but he don't want to get anything. what to do? How to higher his drive. I masturbate too. i think may be I have high sex drive because he is my first partner. I have never been into any relationship before but I am not his first. How to tell him I want more.

2007-10-29 06:56:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

I am 12 and she is 14 and she said sex feels good and I should do it. But she said do lots of positions and dirty thing. She wants me to print the positins out so she knows i did it. what are good positions and explain them please. I am not going to have sex, i am just going to lye to her.

2007-10-29 06:53:38 · 14 answers · asked by lauren.mccurdie 2 in Friends

The inquisitive mind of a child"

Why are they selling poppies, Mummy?
Selling poppies in town today.
The poppies, child, are flowers of love.
For the men who marched away.

But why have they chosen a poppy, Mummy?
Why not a beautiful rose?
Because my child, men fought and died
In the fields where the poppies grow.

But why are the poppies so red, Mummy?
Why are the poppies so red?
Red is the colour of blood, my child.
The blood that our soldiers shed.

The heart of the poppy is black, Mummy.
Why does it have to be black?
Black, my child, is the symbol of grief.
For the men who never came back.

But why, Mummy are you crying so?
Your tears are giving you pain.
My tears are my fears for you my child.
For the world is FORGETTING AGAIN.

2007-10-29 06:52:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Other - Family & Relationships

So this question is somewhat based on my last. If your a girl, and you hang out with a guy alllll the time, are best friends, and are intimate, well then why wouldnt you want to make it an official bf/gf relationship? Are you scared? Or is it simply you're always looking for something or someone better? Am I a fool for even staying around if I want more? Please enlighten me ladies....

2007-10-29 06:39:07 · 15 answers · asked by DazedandConfused 1 in Singles & Dating

Are there any *nice* mother-in-laws out there?

I do realize I'm probably going to get comments from mother-in-laws themselves, but I'd really like to her from daughter-in-laws :)

Thanks for your input!

2007-10-29 06:38:10 · 32 answers · asked by kiki 6 in Weddings

...because we live in a small town & shes heard bad things about my past. Im 21 & have been dating her son for 2 years - hes 25. We are getting married in April '08. She doesnt understand Im not a wild teen anymore & she wont even give me a chance to get to know me! My fiance is from a quiet & conservative Christian family. Theyve barely spoken to me since weve been together. This weekend she told me how she felt about me - she went as far as saying Im nothing but a rebound & a whore. She keeps asking around about me & she even called a past employer of mine to ask why I was fired a year ago! She asked me about things shes heard & when I told her the truth she didnt believe me. Ive even admitted things which are none of her business! I dont want to be at war with her & I dont want this to cause problems with my fiance! She doesnt want us to get married and thinks Im not good enough for her son. Why is it so hard for her to believe that hes in love with me?! Where should I go from here?

2007-10-29 06:36:08 · 51 answers · asked by HopelessBride 1 in Marriage & Divorce

so ive decided im gona go for an older woman but then i started wondering what "big" or "small" for an older woman??
Im about 6 and 1/2 inches long and pretty think,is this big or small???

2007-10-29 06:33:58 · 17 answers · asked by pillar567 1 in Singles & Dating

I just got engaged and I am having an extremely hard time narrowing down my good friends to just a handful. I've got about 8 girls that I really can't stand to eliminate (2 of which are my fiance's sisters and good friends of mine), and he's got about 5 guys (each of our brothers included). Do there have to be the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen? I'm completely new to this. Help!

2007-10-29 06:32:51 · 16 answers · asked by NatBug 2 in Weddings

My husband drinks beer every single night without fail. He works 7 days a week without fail so his excuse is working to much and his games on TV. Its not only that.. he won't eat dinner until midnight when its cold and been sitting out for hours and comes to bed expecting relations even if I say no I am tired and/ or am a sleep but he doesn't take NO, he just keeps groping me until I give in. I love him so much but am tired of having relations with a drunk every night. He is not abusive or anything and has never been but he doesn't understand that I can't stand him drunk everynight. I have tried to talk to him when he gets up in the morning and he simple says he is sorry and will try better but never does, its a pattern he has now. How am I suppose to deal with this, everything else in our relationship is almost perfect, we are friends and do have fun with each other and can talk to each other about things. ITs hard for me because we do love each other so much.

2007-10-29 06:29:03 · 21 answers · asked by speclt1970 2 in Marriage & Divorce