So this question is somewhat based on my last. If your a girl, and you hang out with a guy alllll the time, are best friends, and are intimate, well then why wouldnt you want to make it an official bf/gf relationship? Are you scared? Or is it simply you're always looking for something or someone better? Am I a fool for even staying around if I want more? Please enlighten me ladies....
2007-10-29 06:39:07 · 15 answers · asked by DazedandConfused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Having been the girl in this scenario, I can tell you only how I felt at the time. I had had a lot of very bad relationships, and I was dealing with some heavy problems. I met a wonderful man, who became my best friend before I realized and we were falling hard for each other, spending all the time we could together. We got offical, then I'd break it off, because I was just too scared to try the relationship thing again (when I say bad, I mean bad, not 'Oh woe, he cheated on me or forgot my birthday'... I mean bad). Then the next week we'd get back together because I couldn't live without him in my life. The whole time this was going on I never looked at another man or touched one, or thought about touching one... It wasn't about wanting more or something different, it was about my inability at the time to deal with my issues enough to be in a relationship, even though he was my soulmate.
We are engaged now. So hang in there. Talk to her about what's holding her back. If you listen (truely listen), give her all the help and understanding you can, then she willeventually work through her problems and feel safe in commiting to you.
Good luck :)
2007-10-29 06:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only she could give you the definitive answer to this question. If it were me, I would guess that she might just view you as a convenience. She always has someone to hang out with and sleep with if you're around. Alternately, it could be that she's scared of relationships due to negative past experience, but if that's the case, why would she behave as if she's in a relationship?
If you want more from her, tell her that you want to know what her intentions are. Then, tell her that you care about her and want to have an official relationship. If she's not interested, she may sever the connection you currently have, but it is better to be without her than be used by her.
2007-10-29 13:51:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All girls want comfort.. Some girls want it exclusive hense bf gf, some don't.. your situation.. Just keep it fun, and don't let yourself grow feelings.. if that starts happening, then end it all now. Girls want the sweet nice guy.. cause girls know those guys will always be around for a shoulder to cry on, for a good listener... but they go after the more attractive or just even straight up jackasses.. and have you on the side.. Just look at the situation and tell yourself where you want to be in the friendship/relationship with this girl.
2007-10-29 13:44:48 · answer #3 · answered by juventus0151 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships and commitment are tricky subjects. Some people may see anything beyond hanging out or being casual friends as the road to marriage and another stage of life. They may simply be too young or simply not ready for such a step. There is nothing wrong with staying single, particularly when you are young.
2007-10-29 13:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by comixguru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a guy friend that i hang out with a lot, we're best friends, but i don't want to become bf/gf with him because it could ruin our friendship and once you go out you'll never see that person the same way if you break up but stay friends it might be awkward and uncomfortable. If you want more, and she does too then go for it, but if you break up you may not be able to be friends and it is a whole lot of drama. So my advice: stay friends and wait to have a serious relationship, someone else may come along and you like that person more and want to be serious with her, but do what you want you're going to anyway (most likely).
2007-10-29 13:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by ice princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she is not interested in you that way - but since you're friends she's willing to mess around with you until she finds what she's looking for in a guy. If I were you I would forget her when it comes to a relationship and find someone that does want to be with you.
2007-10-29 13:43:58 · answer #6 · answered by lunasage 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok so i had this same problem not too long ago..me and this guy (now my boyfriend) were friends with benefits and we grew to like eachother..well i had asked him if we were ever gonna be together and he said no..i was lk why its basically the same thing..when in the end i found out that he was scared of commitment..but u just have to keep on and dont give up..me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and are happier than ever..
2007-10-29 13:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by SiMPly ME. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to answer that. It could be she wants to keep her options open or she is afraid. Maybe she just doesn't feel the way you feel. I think that if you want more you should move on, and then 9 times out of 10 she will come to her senses and want to be exclusive
2007-10-29 13:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by Tre 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not a fool, but I would find someone else if I were you. It sounds like she is looking for someone better, so you deserve better than that. Good luck
2007-10-29 13:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by ANGEL 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're living like you're a couple but she's still refusing to be a couple, it's time for you to stop. If she wants you badly enough, she'll commit. Otherwise, you're wasting your time and your self on this person. Give it to someone who cares about you more than that.
2007-10-29 13:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by Kyle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋