a wedding invitation. However, we want to keep costs low. What is your opinion on having a small family/close friends ceremony in the mountains (3 hours from our home) and maybe a larger gathering later? Ideas, opinions please!
2007-10-29 07:19:32 · 14 answers · asked by Emily D 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
*Groan*.. I'm hearing you!
Our wedding reception guest list has hit 130 people to include most of my fiances family for fear of insulting anybody.. It's even more difficult because he has A LOT of friends, and is also quite close to a lot of his friends parents, and he would love them to be there too!
We think we are going to go with inviting the people who we sadly can't fit at the reception to the ceremony and then allowing enough time between the ceremony and reception (in different locations btw) to have some champagne and canapes in a park or the church grounds and have a toast with the friends that wont be at the reception.
We hope that that way they'll understand how much it meant for us to have them there, but that due to a large family and small budget we wont see them at the reception. And that way they wont feel like they have to get us a present either.
Good luck!!
2007-10-29 13:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations!
I love your idea to keep things small. However, I'm confused!!!
How does it keep costs low, if, in fact, you will be having to travel to your mountain destination and (I presume) have a small reception right after the ceremony in the mountains.
THEN, have another gathering/reception later on when you return?
Those people coming to the second reception will still need invitations. You will (again, I presume) be having food, a DJ, cake, etc. all the regular wedding reception "things."
So....why not do a small, intimate family only ceremony in your small town and then have a larger reception THAT SAME night?
Again, I do understand when people want to keep costs down and have a small wedding, but, to me, this doesn't sound like you will be saving ANY money! In fact, spending more to go to the mountains. If you want to just have the mountain ceremony and reception, then, yes, that will save substantially.
Good luck and I hope you have a beautiful wedding and reception!
2007-10-29 15:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is an excellent idea. Invitations are EXPENSIVE and even after you buy the invitations, you still have to worry about buying stamps! Here are some options. If you do want to invite people from the small town and INVITATION AND POSTAGE COSTS ARE THE PROBLEM, then you can put a copy of the invitation in the local paper or at your church and let people know they are invited. This is what we did. However, if the wedding price is what you are worried about, then the small ceremony with a large gathering afterwards is TOTALLY acceptable! Small, personal weddings are sometimes the most memorable and special! Bottom line, it is YOUR special day and you can do whatever you want! Times are changing and possibilities are endless! So do what you want to make your day memorable! At the end of the day, you will still be just as married to the man you love no matter what you do about the ceremony!
2007-10-29 07:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by mattsbaby125 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Congrats! I think you should be able to have a small wedding. You are paying for it! I had the same kind of problem. Make sure that you make it strictly family only or you will hear a whole bunch of comments. It would be really cool if you had a nice reception later for everyone else at a place like a restaurant or bar so that people can come and celebrate with you and you wouldn't be forced to pay for anything extravagant. The mountains sound absolutely amazing! I hope it all works out for you and remember it's YOUR special day. You and your husband are the only ones who matter in all this! =)
2007-10-29 07:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by jesicat44 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because he's well liked and well known doesn't mean that EVERYONE you've ever met should get an invitation (or even expect one).
People have absolutely lost sight of the fact that a wedding is a gathering of FAMILY and CLOSE FRIENDS to celebrate the union of two people THEY love...it is NOT a charity benefit, or the social event of the century for the entire county to attend.
So.........if you want only 100 people (or whatever) at your wedding, then you invite whom you choose...and the rest will just have to understand. If they get pushy, tell them you had a guest list limit, and sorry...it was for family & CLOSE friends ONLY...thanks for the kind thoughts though.
2007-10-29 07:35:25 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a lovely option. In fact, you don't even have to slip quietly out of town if you don't want to.
The way to keep things quiet - is to be quiet yourselves. Don't announce the wedding date. Don't say word one about things until after the event - that way only those people who are invited are the only ones who are planning on being there.
See, all that hoopla happens when people blab and brag about this or that dress-shoes-cake-flowers-ceremony-nails-hairdo- etc.etc.etc. and then everyone wants to be in on the act.
But if you, dear bride - and your families etc. can stay closed-mouthed about the whole thing, then all's fine.
BUT if you simply just HAVE to spill the beans, then you will be flooded with pleas for an invitation to THE event of the season.
I have the same situation. My BF is from a well-respected family - huge family too - and we live in a tiny little town known for its gossip. We decided that when we're ready, we'll just ask our pastor (who lives next door to his folks) to "make it legal." That way it's quiet and subtle. No hoopla no ballyhoo etc. Just a simple quiet ceremony.
2007-10-29 08:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To expect something and to actually be entitled to that something are very different things. If you prefer to have a small, private ceremony then you have every right to do so. Don't feel like you have to run away to the mountains to do this. There's nothing incorrect about having a cake and punch party (or some other kind of party) after the honeymoon instead of directly after ther ceremony.
2007-10-29 07:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the time of year you want to get married you could always do your close, intimate wedding in the mountains and then have your "reception" in the hometown. It's fairly inexpensive to reserve and rent a shelter at the local park. Make it a pot-luck. . . . everyone brings a dish to share. You won't have to worry about renting an elaborate hall to have the party and you won't have to worry about entertainment for the kids since there's a play area at almost every park. Bring a boom-box with a stack of CDs and put your sister (or brother, friend, uncle, whomever!) in charge of music. Buy a bag of white balloons at the store and tape them around the shelter. Disposable tablecloths are cheap and so is paper. . . . you could tape paper on the tables to take the place of a tablecloth. Sams Club has stacks of paper plates cheap and you can ask people to bring their own cutlery and serving spoons. My guess is that you'll have lots of people wanting to help. . . . DELEGATE! Rent the shelter and pick a date and time. Make a list of things needing to be done and assign them as people ask. This is perfectly acceptable and sounds like it could be a great party. . . . good luck and congratulations!
2007-10-29 07:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy Drew 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is becoming a much more common option today. Just invite who you'd like for the ceremony and then have your big shin dig later when you have the money. That way you won't have to leave anyone out.
2007-10-29 07:56:22 · answer #9 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a good idea. If you are going to keep it small, only invite close family and friends so others do not feel left out.
2007-10-29 07:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by clg1975 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋