Not sure if I love my husband, not sure if I've ever been in love.?

Question

I guess my question here is to people who are going, or have gone through what I am. Am I a bad person?
We got married after finding out I was pregnant, and we had tons of issues before and after we got married. We split up last year for about 8 months. I met someone else, and ended up pregnant. He wanted me back the entire time we were split, and he still wanted me back when he found out I was pregnant. I no longer had feelings for the guy I was with, so I went back with my husband. I know all of this sounds terrible, but my husband was abusive when we were together before. I mean abusive, not just mean or rude, but mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. Since we have been back together, he has been about 98% better than he used to be, and really a lot of people would probably be jealous of the "marriage" we have now. I can tell that he really intensely loves me now, but my heart is somewhere else. It's like I'm still waiting on some other guy, and I don't like it.

Just wanted to add (after reading some of the answers) that I won't be having any more children. And that the reason I left him was because I wanted to protect our daughter from him, and I only went back to him when it was apparent that he had truly changed. I put my children first, before everything and everyone.

Answer 1

go see a counselor or something. it might do you some good.

Answer 2

All too often people marry because the woman is pregnant or they marry "for the kids" It's not worth it. In alot of cases the kids would be better off without married parents that are in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship. Why would you marry a man that treated you badly knowing that there is always a chance he could treat your children badly or really hurt you? I notice that you say since you have been back together that he has improved. Maybe he just didn't know what he had until it was gone. Maybe it took some realising to make him wake up and think that he did want to be with you. I think that you may say your heart is somewhere else because you are holding on to bad memories from before. Maybe you don't truly believe that he has changed yet. Possibly the 2 of you can seek counceling.........that might help.

Answer 3

I contemplated this question for seven years before I made my decision and left the marriage. There is NO excuse for physical abuse as far as I'm concerned. I question your skills as a parent by subjecting your children to a man that has hit you in the past. They are depending on you to protect them and as a parent, you are obligated to do so.

I would implore you to get some form of birth control whether you stay in the marriage or not. Becoming pregnant again will only make things more complicated, not to mention the adjustment each of your children will have to make.

Answer 4

i haven't been by way of this, yet once you're uncertain if it is in straightforward terms a rut or in case you elect to head on, stay placed. you're able to aim to be close to on your husband a minimal of thrice an afternoon - which could the two be a hug, sitting next to a minimal of one yet another on the settee, or having an intimate dinner. the only way you're able to be attentive to what's happening in his head is that in case you 2 communicate - he may well be waiting to sense that issues are not good already. do no longer make any rash descisions right here, a divorce is unquestionably difficult on babies and it can be a disgrace in case you went by way of this technique then regretted it. Marriage and love are a dedication that takes alot of no longer undemanding artwork to maintain going - and you needless to say be attentive to there is something there to stay with your husband by way of 3 babies. Do each and every little thing you are able to to maintain this marriage alive, regardless of it takes, because of the fact if the time comes that that's the tip there could be no emotion at the back of yur descision - you're able to no longer sense unhappy approximately it considering which you're able to be attentive to you and your husband have completed each and every little thing you are able to to make the marriage artwork and it nevertheless wasn't sufficient. stable good fortune!

Answer 5

been there.its too soon to jump to conclusion ie;breaking up withj him,dating someone else,etc. Your confusion is what got you in this mess in the first place.If he has changes,and is a good father,give him a chance.I mean a REAL chance,to fall in love with him all over again.And,although i know it's hard,try to let go of the past,little by little,so you can appreciatte the person he's become.If after a while your head is clear but still no butterflies,think of a way to leave without hurting him(and the kids)too much.

Answer 6

Welcome to the married life,,, again.... you can't measure Love.... how could you possible do that?? by the amount of times you smile in a day??

Humm.. sounds like a good question to ask on Y!A huh...

your problem is that you are a miserable person right now... so change that! Start looking at the positive side in life not the negative... do you know you can turn every negative into a positive.. so start now.... try it...

Answer 7

Looking for love in all the wrong places. In order to know love you got to love yourself. Where is your heart at? You are sitting in the back of the taxi wanting a ride and don't know where you want to go. You have to define in your life what you want and where you want to go. It seems to me that you are along for the ride and where ever it takes you will be fine. If you don't like it change it.

Answer 8

Then you should have never went back to him...either get over it or move on.

Answer 9

grow up!