Family & Relationships - 17 October 2007

You can have your hymen torn, without ever having sex. A tampon, or even riding on a bicycle they say can do it. I would still consider that person a virgin, even though their hymen has been torn.

So to me, a torn hymen is only a sign that one MAY not be a virgin. It is not the definition of one who is not a virgin. Am I wrong?

We talk about whether men are "virgins" or not - and obviously, the hymen has nothing to do with them! So with a man, he is a virgin if he has never had sex. Why should it be different for a woman?

Does masturbation (with insertion of a toy or whatever) mean you're not a virgin?

And, why is this so confusing?! Why isn't there just one defintion, without all this confusion?

2007-10-17 14:55:14 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I told my husband tonight that I am ready to have our last baby. We have decided that we want one more. And I have been on birthcontrol for 5 months now and it is not good to me. I get bad headaches and I loose my hair and they have switched me time and time again over the years. My body just doesn't do well with birth control.
I do want to get my tubes tied after we have our last baby. However, I can't handle the borth control and he will not wear a condom. So I figure let's have the last one call it a day so I can get my tubes tied.
I stay on the borth control because I don't want to have an oops child and neither of us wanting to have a baby at that time. And we have gon with with using natural family planning in the past but I have little one's now and it is hard to chart with three little ones.
Our youngest is 9 months old right now. He says he is not ready he doesn't feel financially set for another.
So what should I do? I don't want to pressure him.

2007-10-17 14:55:05 · 10 answers · asked by Kathleen B 2 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-10-17 14:54:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

To make myself clear I am going to explain what I mean. When people have broken marriages it is often because they married young. Young is often quoted as being teenish or twentyish. It is believable that the older people are the more they know who they are, their limitations, their potential and what they want. Many would agree that beyond the BIG 3-0, more often than not, one is at that mature phase.

How long did you date prior marriage?
How long (were/are) you married?
What went wrong in the marriage?

Please share your story or somebody's story. Please use specifics. I got the time to listen.

Please do not answer this question, "nope, happily married for 7 years and counting" because if you look closely at the question you will see that that is not what I am asking. I am doing a research project on love.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

2007-10-17 14:53:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

what is a good retaliation for a guy playfully twisting my nipple?

2007-10-17 14:53:36 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

Ok so if a girl wants to have sex with a guy because he's hot enough [and doesnt want a relationship with him]... and she does, every girl AND guy calls her a slut, whore, prostitute, boyfriend thief, home wrecker, etc .. but if a guy has sex with a girl, uses her, plays with her, and then dumps her, he's just called a player? Player sounds like a "good" term in my opinion because some guys even CLAIM to be "players"? And on the other hand, "whore" is a harsher word...
Its not about men being sexist because call each other sluts, too.

2007-10-17 14:52:26 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

what is a good retaliation for a guy playfully twisting my nipple?

2007-10-17 14:51:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2007-10-17 14:51:36 · 11 answers · asked by richymiller 1 in Marriage & Divorce

Ok i liked this girl like no other and i tried and tried and tried and i can't quit her i care about her so much and tried for the last three years but i can't forget her or impress her. I've embarrised my self in front of her. i've gone through hell with this girl i can't stand liking her it sucks but i still care about her so bad and i want to tell her how i feel bcuz mabey just mabey i could forget about her some how telling her how i truely feel and i never felt about this to any one in life before and it sucks so much, so how can i tell her she means everything and i think about her alot and i would do anything, and i know how stupid and paphetic i am for liking this girl but there's nothing i can do so please somebody tell me how can i tell her, where , when can i tell her. I have nothing left to lose so might has well tell her she's doesn't like me but i do and ive already made a fool of myself so i have nothing left to lose so tell me how much worst can it get.

2007-10-17 14:50:30 · 4 answers · asked by Sammy 2 in Singles & Dating

I love my mom, but I figured out that she smokes. I mean I'm more observant than she gave me credit for, and I noticed small hints, like nicotine gum and a cigarette in the yard, and overly strong perfume over a stale scent. I don't know how long this has been going on, and I'm worried; but the signs have been there for at least 2 years. What if she gets cancer or something. I have 2 younger sisters and they have no idea. And I'm not sure if my dad knows. I'm afraid if I confront my mom and dad, that she will start smoking openly, and that'll be worse for everyone's health. I know my mom is great, but addiction is strong, and I don't know what to do.

2007-10-17 14:50:18 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family

is too much sex in your relationship, unhealthy??
me and my boyfriend have sex everyday at least three times a day. I was wondering if it is unhealthy to the relationship, not physically.

2007-10-17 14:49:45 · 11 answers · asked by kk 2 in Singles & Dating

I am a single mother with 2 daughters, 15 and 13. I work 2 jobs, 7-5 at office and 6-11 at bakery. Because of the heavy work time, I told my kids to take turns making dinner, but they said no. I ask them why. The 15 year old said it is because she helped her little sister alot and she feels it is her sister's job to be fair to her and cook dinner everyday and make up for her help she gave her little sister. My 13 year old say it is because she feels that her elder sister is the eldest child in the family & should always be responsible to cook and the youngest child shouldn't have to. Her friends have oldest sisters that do all housework while the youngest never do anything and she want to be just like her friends. I don't know what to do. I really need their help to cook. I don't want to take away priviledges because they are good kids and I promise to give them what I didn't have when I was a kid, activities, friends, accessories, and fun. Why can I do? Why are my teenagers that way?

2007-10-17 14:49:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family

2007-10-17 14:49:17 · 6 answers · asked by      7 in Singles & Dating

My Girlfriends Step mother is a real *****, and keeps calling her a "whore" and saying that she'll never get anywhere in life and have to live off of welfare and that shes stupid and lies to her all the time, of course none of these statements are true and shes a good girl, example: we've been going out for almost a year and we havent had sex or done any sexual act so shes far from being a whore, and shes got A's and B's in all her classes. so my question is what should i do to try and convince her step mom that shes a good kid without causing a conflict between me and the mom, ive thought about writing an annonymous letter and sneaking it into a place where she would find it saying that she should have a little more respect to her own legal child. any other ideas, i wish i knew her email so i could do it that way but unfortunatly theres no way i could figure it out.

2007-10-17 14:48:09 · 4 answers · asked by Vash 1 in Family

she's become defiant and her mouth is not what we expect. She demands for a lot of things, doesn't work and is hard to get her to do her chores. I've talked to her, take things from her, but dont know how to handle this anymore, please help me. She's an only child.

2007-10-17 14:47:06 · 6 answers · asked by senoritadelgado@sbcglobal.net 2 in Marriage & Divorce

We have been married for 5 years and known each other for over ten, since high school. We have been through every thing you name it we have done it. We have a beautiful daughter, no damage done. She wants to be alone all the time and the sex is a drag. She is not cheating (hint hint) because I know where she is all the time(hinthint)? I have tried catching her, because I don't know what else there could be holding us back from making this work> HELP!<

2007-10-17 14:44:23 · 10 answers · asked by xander20042000 1 in Marriage & Divorce

He wants to be a family, wants to be the father figure for my 13 month old daughter...but he also wants to spend time at his friends house, drinking, smoking weed, and having "guy time" I understand this, but I don't know how to explain that if we are a family, and he is "in this" then as a parent, the "guy time" can't happen as often, am I wrong in feeling this way? I also think he should help more with the bad stuff; diapers, baths, meals, daycare drop off and pick-up etc... He just wants to discipline and tell me what I do wrong, how can I explain that you have to take the good with the bad? If we are going to be a family this too has to balance out...right?

2007-10-17 14:39:18 · 22 answers · asked by adriyensmom 2 in Family

My dad died 6 years ago, when I was 10. I feel like I should be more over it, but I don't have anyone I could really talk to. I don't want to talk to my mom or my step dad because they don't get it, I've been to a therapist before, and that didn't work. All of my friends still have their parents. I just don't know what to do to fully move on.

2007-10-17 14:37:09 · 7 answers · asked by Kelsey 3 in Family

me for the most part i'm just here .but when i was a kid i'd come home from school and my mom would tell me that that day was mine, and it was i could run faster wine in all the games i played as a kid beat my dully up all kinds of things.being older now and knowing more i'v lose touch with that.today i know it was god though it ont tell me why i'm here.

2007-10-17 14:36:32 · 1 answers · asked by edd m 1 in Friends

Im always at my friends' houses to hangout. But when I ask my mom if I can have people over too, she never lets me; she hates it. Ive never done anything that would make her not trust me, especially in my home. This year, for my friends' bdays, we want to go out &then sleepover someone's house for each bday. (there's 9 of us, we wanted a different house for each night.) My mom probably wont even let me do that. I know i probably sound like a brat but I feel bad if i'm the only person who can't have it at their house, plus i always feel guilty when we go over the same people's houses b/c i'm never allowed to have people at my own. It comes to the point where I don't even want to go to sleepover my friends anymore just because I feel bad since we will never go to mine. What do I say to mom to help with this situation, and what do i even say to my friends? I don't want to say I can't have it just because my mom said so, and thats exactly what she says w/o any good reason. Help! :(

2007-10-17 14:36:03 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family

ok. i have these two friends miller and robert. both of them are in two of my classes with me together, and they are best friends. I have a huge crush on robert, and from guesses and gossip i think he likes me. Well i often hang around the other friend miller, and we've been friends for a long time, but in the past few weeks he has been very flirty touching my knee and sending me texts of him in his boxers...today he told me he likes me and asked me to homecomming. i rejected him nicely, but think he's really upset (i HATE hurting peoples feelings!) so since miller def. likes me, does this mean my chances with robert are dead? i really like robert, but if miller keeps acting sad at school tomorrow and the next few days, knowing myself ill give in and go out with him on a date or something. of course that would completley screw my chances with robert..is it worth telling robert how i feel after rejecting miller just tonight? the real ? i guess is is it worth telling rob if it hurts m?

2007-10-17 14:33:51 · 10 answers · asked by rja_4_LIFE 3 in Singles & Dating

my boyfriend and i have broken off our engagement...well he did...we have had alot of minor problems and i think he is scared..well i know he is..the thing is..that it hurts soo much..we are still together..but we were engaged for four months before that period ended...my thoughts were moving towards being a wife...and building a life together..we KNOW we are going to get married..thats not the doubt...the thing is..every where i turn is weddings, engagements, and happiness..i still cant stop wishing and thinking about the wedding...i want soo bad to be engaged again and to know that we are together..and to have a date to look forward to! i want to be married to him soo terribly! i love him with everything in me..and i know he loves me too..we cant live together till wedding day..and i just want to be with him!!! HELP! ! ! !

2007-10-17 14:33:18 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings

And we see each other everyday. Seriously. we have classes together everyday. Which is kind of awkward, considering how we ended. But it seems like I like him again. And apperantly he likes me too. But we haven't talked since the summer. How can I talk to him, and have a NORMAL conversation without it being awkward?

2007-10-17 14:33:01 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ 3 in Singles & Dating

2007-10-17 14:31:11 · 28 answers · asked by ஐKatஐ 3 in Singles & Dating

2007-10-17 14:30:22 · 10 answers · asked by youdontknowme7788 1 in Marriage & Divorce

Is this emotional cheating

I was on a course with my husband
along with 50 other people. on the first day of the course I got very emotional and cried, as I had just had a stroke five weeks before. my husband would not cuddle me or talk to me. he only came to me when he was asked to by the tutor. when we got out of the class he left me to go and watch a movie with some other people. then the next day my husband sat next to this woman at lunch, and she was rubbing her hand up and down his leg , under the table. I could see this, so he got up and left the table.
only to go over to another woman and give her a cuddle as she was unhappy. I did not like the way he was acting, so we talk about it whole night and he told me that he would keep away from this woman ( rubbing his leg one) The next day I told him I wouldn't be going into class. But I did go and found him sitting with her again. I left and later asked him why he was with her again. but he lied and said that he wasn't. after I told him I sore them together he still lied. but after that he cried and said that wanted to prove to her that she couldn't intimidate him!
but when I talk about it he shouts at me, tells me that he was not being unfaithful, then cries and hits himself and blames me
for not going into the class with him that day.

2007-10-17 14:26:46 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

What is a cool way to act at school. I'm 13 and want ask a girl out , but i hardly talk to her or know her. I pretty cute and am shy. What should i do?

2007-10-17 14:26:45 · 34 answers · asked by badonkadonkhr 2 in Singles & Dating

"Evertime I see my ex he is always tring to make me jelous By huging other girls or talking to my enimies. What should I do? I've tried to ignore him but I can't? HELP ME!!!

2007-10-17 14:26:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

2007-10-17 14:26:37 · 9 answers · asked by CHAMP 1 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-10-17 14:24:08 · 16 answers · asked by kindablue99 2 in Marriage & Divorce