To make myself clear I am going to explain what I mean. When people have broken marriages it is often because they married young. Young is often quoted as being teenish or twentyish. It is believable that the older people are the more they know who they are, their limitations, their potential and what they want. Many would agree that beyond the BIG 3-0, more often than not, one is at that mature phase.
How long did you date prior marriage?
How long (were/are) you married?
What went wrong in the marriage?
Please share your story or somebody's story. Please use specifics. I got the time to listen.
Please do not answer this question, "nope, happily married for 7 years and counting" because if you look closely at the question you will see that that is not what I am asking. I am doing a research project on love.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
2007-10-17 14:53:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
KEY POINST PEOPLE:
because some answers seem to have overlooked them
#1 MARRIED BEYOND 30 YEARS OF AGE!!!
#2 EITHER DIVORCED OR UNHAPPILY MARRIED!!!
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
2007-10-17 15:17:05 · update #1
ya know i am 26 and i have 4 small children and i am not married.i will not get that way untill i know that it will be the rest of my life.i think that i might if all goes well when i get to be about 33 or so
2007-10-17 15:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was married at 45. Me for the first time (Career Military) She for the second time. We knew each other for a year. It lasted 18 months. I was too set in my ways and she was very demanding. I was not used to it. I think maybe that I waited too long. But, moving as much as I did for 26 years, I felt it better not to have to leave all the time or move a wife around to various spots. I was in 17 countries. The down side is that I became totally independent. I can cook, clean, sew, iron, take medicine, etc, without help. Too many older women want to be the mother. I did not need or want that. Hope this is what you wanted. Maybe it will help you. I don't know that it was love. I think it was more of a longing for companionship.
2007-10-17 15:01:22 · answer #2 · answered by Jim H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my mom first got married, she was 24. That marriage lasted about five years with a kid in the first year. She told me that she divorced him because she hadn't really known him well enough before they got married and she didn't like the person that he really was. She also told me that she married him because she afraid she was too old to get married (in 1968) and would be alone for the rest of her life. The man she married was the nephew of her uncle's wife and the rest of the family seemed to accept him so she thought it would work out. She got married a year after her divorce (actually, we don't know if the divorce was ever made official) and is still married to that man (my dad) and very happy. My dad is also nine years younger than my mom so he was 22 when they got married. I don't know what that says about marriage. Hope it helps you in some way.
PS
I don't know if this helps you either but, I got married at 21 and my husband was 28. It's our first marriage and we seem to be doing well, despite some rocky points. Good luck with the research!
2007-10-17 15:15:31 · answer #3 · answered by rainbowreggie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I waited until after 30. Got married at 34. Thought I picked much better than when I was in my 20's. Finding out I didn't!
All my friends got married around the same time. We all chose poorly! One is divorced. The other is on her way, just hasn't left yet.
So being older isn't proving to be much wiser.
2007-10-17 15:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by trapeze 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for five years, from 22 to 27. That was the biggest mistake of my life. We were together all through high school. Looking back I realize the marriage was doomed but our own insecurities and fears of being alone kept us together. Fear is not a good reason to get married.
She had an affair, I crawled into a bottle.
Today I am sober, and she is happy with someone else. We are even friends today. I only thank God that we did not have children because screwing up our lives is one thing, screwing up the lives of someone else is a whole load of guilt I thank God every day that I do not carry.
Bottom line. Forgive, move on, and count your blessings.
Good luck.
2007-10-17 15:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, my parents didnt get married until after they had one child and were expecting another, which then they were both in their early-mid thirties. That might seem old, but I think in was a smart decision. They lived together for five years before they decided to have kids and then tye the knot. They both waited until they were out of their "party years" to get married. That way they were more mature and didnt miss out on there twenties like many young parents do.
Hope this helped:)
Oh, and they're still together, lol:)
2007-10-17 15:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I waited until i was 32 before i got married to the most wonderful man. Until 18 months later i got to the mailbox before him and found out he had a kid with his 20 year old girlfriend. We dated for 6 years . He had gone to court and been paying child support since the kid was born. He said he didn't tell me cuz he didn't want to hurt me. LOL!!! I've since lost everything including my faith. NEVER AGAIN WILL I MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE
2007-10-17 15:02:52 · answer #7 · answered by carmey1173 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
6 months when I was 23 and 4 months when I was 32. Lasted 5 years. I just fell out of love, became bored with him. He was 15 years older but acted like he was 30 years older.
2007-10-17 14:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by Kate J 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋