I told my husband tonight that I am ready to have our last baby. We have decided that we want one more. And I have been on birthcontrol for 5 months now and it is not good to me. I get bad headaches and I loose my hair and they have switched me time and time again over the years. My body just doesn't do well with birth control.
I do want to get my tubes tied after we have our last baby. However, I can't handle the borth control and he will not wear a condom. So I figure let's have the last one call it a day so I can get my tubes tied.
I stay on the borth control because I don't want to have an oops child and neither of us wanting to have a baby at that time. And we have gon with with using natural family planning in the past but I have little one's now and it is hard to chart with three little ones.
Our youngest is 9 months old right now. He says he is not ready he doesn't feel financially set for another.
So what should I do? I don't want to pressure him.
2007-10-17 14:55:05 · 10 answers · asked by Kathleen B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would never get pregnant without telling him. That is why I am still taking the pill and dealing with the side effects. But the headaches have gotten so bad I have taken myself to the ER.
I have been on every pill from the mini to low to everything inbetween. I have had depo you name it!
That is why at one point we went with natural family planning.
I flat out told him that when I cross the line of being able to handle it, we will just not be able to be intimate until we are ready to take that risk. I don't want to do that but I don't know what the answer is.
2007-10-17 15:17:49 · update #1
Even if you tell your husband that you are ready for your last child, it wouldn't help since he already told you that you both aren't ready financially.
What you can tell him is that the pills are limiting your ability to attend to him on his everyday needs since the pills are giving you some nasty effects. Ask him if he likes seeing you depressed because of the headaches and hair lost. I'm sure he will say no and when he do, offer him this altenative.
Tell him that you can still have sex without condom, but he needs to learn to put a condom on before he explode. Simply put the responsibility on him so you can liberate yourself from those pills.
I'm sure that he'll appreciate it more that you're not cranky and depress all the time.
2007-10-18 07:15:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what.... my husband did the same thing right after we had our daughter. And I mean as soon as she was born too. He even wanted a boy at first (when we first found out I was pregnant), but after she was born, he kept saying, "Let's give her a little sister." Well, I did tell him that I wanted to wait at LEAST a year. He was fine with that. So, then he kept telling everyone that by our daughter's second birthday, we would be having another one. By that time though, he agreed to wait until she was out of diapers. LOL She is three now and I'm pregnant with our second (praying that everything goes well because I miscarried in March). Just tell your husband, not yet, slow down. I'm sure he'll understand like mine did. Congratulations on your new baby!
2016-05-23 06:30:12 · answer #2 · answered by tamra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you looked into OTHER methods of birth control? Talk to your doctor--maybe try a diaphragm.
If he's not ready for another child, then you really need to respect that, and not try to get pregnant just because you can't find a pill that works for you. Besides, with a 9 month old, you really need to give your body at least 12 months before you try to have another baby. It takes that long for your body to recover what it lost during pregnancy.
2007-10-17 15:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find another option other than birth control...there are many. Can you honestly imagine have an 18 month old and a new born? Both require an awful lot of attention and both deserve it. You will not be able to give proper attention to your children if you choose to have one now.
Talk to your doctor about alternatives to birth control. There are many.
2007-10-17 15:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried a copper-T intrauterine device? These act locally, so you should not experience the side effects you have now. The usual effects are maybe a bit more cramping than usual during your period. Some guys complain of the feeling of the string. Otherwise, I think that might work for you.
2007-10-17 15:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is that perhaps you are done with your family. Your husband has stated he cannot financially handle another child. What happens if you have twins? Or the child is handicapped? I'm not telling you to not have another child if you want to and can afford it, but it sounds like you need to stop. And let him have a vasectomy, you've done enough.
2007-10-17 15:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to be on the same page with this one. Ask him when exactly would he like to begin ttc. Find other option for your bc, since you are not happy with the side effects. Plan together that's the only option...don't get pregnant with out deciding it together first.
2007-10-17 15:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the different pills or try some different contraceptives such as a patch or a ring.
2007-10-17 15:25:18 · answer #8 · answered by terliuke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to his concerns and make sure he listens to your needs.
Good luck!
2007-10-17 15:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you are gonna have more then throw away the birth control and tell him when you get knocked up then he cant say much
2007-10-17 15:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋