Family & Relationships - 24 July 2007

Ok--here is my story, any advice is greatly needed and appreciated. I met my husband when we were both 25, independant college grads and professionals (he a mil. officer, me a teacher). We dated for over 2 yrs before we got married and everything was close to perfect. Yes, we had our normal spats but he always acted so in love with me and all of my friends were so jealous....Well, after being married for only a month I got on the laptop and noticed he had left his email up, out of pure curiousity, I clicked on his messages (never in a million years intended on finding anything), well it showed he had been emailing a woman for almost nude pics of herself. He replied a few times saying, "thanks that made my day" and how "beautiful" she was. Well this was such blow because not to brag, I am a very attractive person. We have a great sex life and we love experimenting and we are both very sexual. The woman he emailed was a woman from a football message bd he visited and she would never email him directly, it was just a mass email of the men that asked her to (after she offered). Well, I confronted him and he was VERY remorsefull and apologized and said it was stupid and he would NEVER do it again.
I figured out his password to his email and checked it frequently. Well, I eventually forgave and he was called to go back to Iraq for a 15 month deployment. Let me back up for a moment the first time he was in Iraq (before we dated)he told me he had a brief sexual relationship with another soldier over there, but I never cared since he was single and it was before me. Well, he wasnt over there a month before I found out he was emailing her asking her for a nude pic of herself, they flirted back and forth and of course I confronted him AGAIN. And AGAIN he was extremely remorseful and begged for forgiveness and even cried to me, saying he couldnt live without me, etc......Well, I forgave AGAIN. After a few months I started to heal and get over it, well I checked his email out of the blue a few days ago and I found another email from her that said, "I am sorry for slapping you". Of course this was such a blow and KILLED me and once I again I confronted him......He admitted they had been emailing on his military acct and he even forwarded some of them to me. He said she slapped him when they walked by each other and he swore on my life he has never cheated, I have begged him to tell me if he cheated and he is adament that he never did. The emails were flirting talking about sending nude pics and even maybe meeting.....
I am crushed...He has promised to get counseling when he gets back and is extremely remorseful. I guess I need advice. Will he EVER change? Could counseling indeed help? He won't be home for another 11 months and I have to worry about what he is doing. I am distraught and disgusted. The way I see it, it would be a lot easier to get out now then later, but is this grounds for divorce? Should I forgive him? What do I do???

2007-07-24 08:18:06 · 29 answers · asked by gradie c 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I have been getting a ton of attention from different men. I am married but my husband just doesn't pay me too much attention himself. I am eating the extra attention up with a spoon. I don't feel bad either. Should I?

Oh and before you say it. I have talked to my husband but it doesn't change. It's just how he is, i guess.

2007-07-24 08:15:02 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

I have dated/known women who have told me--as they grabbed a certain part of my anatomy, "Never forget that this d*** is mine!" I have also known guys who have said to women they've dated/known, "Never forget that this p**** is mine!" Do you find this to be offensive, endearing or possessive?

2007-07-24 08:14:10 · 36 answers · asked by dantiuspalaptine 3 in Singles & Dating

i live with my bf and he pays all the bills, his cousin moved in with us a while back and he only pays for the cable and light, well now he wants his girlfriend to move in with us, and i really can't stand the girl!! what do you think i should do?!!? i know that i can't say much since i don't pay any bills, but should i still speak up or should i just be quiet about the whole thing!?!?

she's lazy , she's a pothead, and she is always starting crap with my bf's cousin, and everyone in their family knows this! so it's not like i dislike her for no reason, there are plenty of reasons! anyways, my question is, What should i do? and would i be out of line if i put my two cents in?

2007-07-24 08:11:15 · 8 answers · asked by Modernday_Aphrodite 5 in Singles & Dating

and like attention, and play head games with him.

I am not a game player, and I am the last person on earth who likes drama.
THE deal is, I love my boyfriend. We have been together off and on for 7 years and have decided that we want to be together forever.
I dont want to play head games, but I want to keep him running back to me. I want to be the only one and no other girl and drama would go over me.
How do I get this? Do I play games and what games?
I just don't know how all this stupid stuff works.

One girl he dated while we were broke up had him so whipped. She made him do all kinds of things for her, and played with his head. He bent over backwards for her, and I cant even get him to carry the glass to the sink........

2007-07-24 08:09:47 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I just would like anyone's thought on this subject.
Let me tell you a little bit about the situation. I been together with my spouse for over 7 years and we have three kids together and we separated at the end of 2006 and just recently moved back in together working things out but there is just one problem, when we were separated she started making friends and one thing about her she always has male friends. So when we got back together she continued to talk to a certain guy which she met at her job. Me being a male I know his intentions but she says there just really good friends and I don’t buy that! I never met the guy first of all she said she don’t want me to meet him because I would start asking him a bunch of questions and I would make him feel uncomfortable. She knows I don’t like her taking to him but she continues talking to him, she erases the calls on her cell phone when she calls him. I confronted her on that she said she does that so I wont complain to her about it. She is starting to lie about phone conversations. It’s not helping us to work on our relationship she doesn’t understand that! She swears up and down that they are just really good friends and that I need to trust her.
I just want to know if I am over reacting or is she in the wrong?

2007-07-24 08:09:11 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

i relly want to say how to start it and it is verry hard pleeeeeese help.

2007-07-24 08:08:07 · 10 answers · asked by COOL CID 2 in Weddings

To have his heart feel he can give a girl something more, then the guy she's already with. When I call her up, she sounds so soft and down, like this boyfriend is her life, theres nothing more to life, then this guy. And I don't care how this guy feels about me, cause if she's not happy then I'll take her away, but she doesn't wanna give it a try. And I get this feeling she doesn't wanna live this life, so what do I do?

2007-07-24 08:07:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

attributes???? Just curious what others consider in their criteria for their mate! Which would you choose...... ?

Ok I realize that there is a broad spectrum in between, but I'm just curious as to which way most folks would lean!

2007-07-24 08:03:16 · 11 answers · asked by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4 in Singles & Dating

OK so I help out this girl I have a crush on with 200 dollars, for medical bills. I'm always there for her and always tell her I care about her. When we're finally about to go on a date, she stands me up to go out with an other guy. Then lies to me saying she needed to be with her sister. Yes i do know for a fact she was lying. Then she tells her friends she doesn't see me like that, and I could only be her friend. She's always going for the a@@holes whom kick her a@@ and just use her. Am I stuck, am I a pushover, or am I just to damn nice?

2007-07-24 08:02:30 · 11 answers · asked by buu 2 in Singles & Dating

A while ago I cheated on my girlfriend. Soon thereafter she caught me. comfronted me and after I sincerely apologized she "forgave" me. Now I was told when you forgive you forget. She steadily checks up on me like I'm some animal and always asks questions about what me and this other girl did. But on the other hand her EX calls everyday and some new guy also calls everyday. I asked her does she talks to them and she denied. I believed her and moved on. She also is on this thing called Private Phone. A singles hotline. She talks to guys on MySpace like she dating them and she is all over my case. We have something great but should I stick with it or just break it off.

2007-07-24 08:00:44 · 18 answers · asked by Young Vito 3 in Marriage & Divorce

I thought a wedding on a chartered yacht would be nice, any opinions? Anyone held their wedding on a yacht, or attended one? Tacky or nice?

2007-07-24 07:59:59 · 11 answers · asked by Nikki 2 in Weddings

I really don't want to use some of the standard readings (love is patient, love is kind...). I'm looking for poems or readings that are unique, all about love. Right now, I'm considering - i carry your heart with me - ee cummings.

Any suggestions?

2007-07-24 07:56:30 · 4 answers · asked by bemilyjane 1 in Weddings

2007-07-24 07:56:30 · 2 answers · asked by shanekeavy 5 in Singles & Dating

My bf and I got in a fight, to make a long story short, he grabbed the phone out of my hands and i was trying to get it back and inadvertedly hit him. He slapped me back on the face. I'm so livid, he is kissing my butt now and clinging to me but also alternating his apologies with saying i'm being a drama queen and that slapping someone back is not a big deal and i'm blowing things way out of proportion. I left to go stay at a friends house right now till i figure out my next move. What should i do? Am i right to think what he did is unexcusable?
oh yeah, we live together, have been together for a year and this is the first time he has ever hit me.

2007-07-24 07:56:07 · 19 answers · asked by kerstin g 3 in Singles & Dating

im a freshman in high school. why do guys treat gurls like thier toys?? a lot of guys i know do NOT know how to treat girls. will this ever change???

2007-07-24 07:55:46 · 7 answers · asked by sagittariusgurl_9 1 in Singles & Dating

So my husband admitted to a drunken one night stand and I have forgiven him and we are reconciling and healing our marriage...so sunday I decided that I was ready to try to establish our physical relationship again (if you know what I mean). I thought it was a healing experience and so monday I decided to try again only to be rejected by him because he was tired. So I try to talk to him and let him know that I am hurting that he would reject my advances but not some stranger in a bar. He gets mad and tells me that he only did it sunday to "compromise" with me. He's had low sex drive our entire relationship and I usually have to initiate relations. I guess I thought that this healing process would include a passionate return to sex...I know that's a ridiculous assumption....but what wife (whether cheated on or not) wouldn't be hurt by a comment like that? Am I wrong?

2007-07-24 07:54:01 · 18 answers · asked by Notagain 6 in Marriage & Divorce

I want to know how to get a guy to notice me just give me a lil advice.

2007-07-24 07:52:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Question Details: we have been dating for more than a month, but as we are 2 hours away and I dont have a car, we only meet up at weekends. We agreed that we dont see other people as we are building up this relationship, he said that Im smart and beautiful, and he likes me. He told me he is not interested in short term, so he is only looking for long term relationship. I know Im having a deep crush on him, but Im trying not to show it up too obviously. He seldom call me on week days, although we have some language barrier(not too big) as he is white and Im asian. he didnt reply my call last night till now. and I didnt call him again.
I know my strong feeling for him, but maybe he merely likes me other than loving me? bcos I suppose he would contact me more if he misses me everyday. also, is love and like very different? he never said he loves me.

2007-07-24 07:52:07 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

He told me that him and his wife were not having sex, things weren't good, & sleepn on the couch currently and for a year prior to me meeting him. At the 2 year point, I read in print that him and his wife had a baby. He has not admitted to me the truth. He says he wants to get a divorce because he's not happy with her. I asked to see the separation papers, that he said he filed. Now, 10 months have passed and still I haven't seen any papers. He has told me that he loves me and wants to be w/ me and how he wants us to have a future together. He tells me that he puts me number one, however, many days & nights I sat here waiting and waiting. No pr Something he said "he wanted". How do i get over the hurt, anger, pain, betrayal, and emotional and spiritual heartache when he vowed so much to be open and I naively feel in to web of deception? Haven't talked to him in a little over a week, and he has made absolutely no effort to call. WHAT IS HE SAYING?HELP!!

2007-07-24 07:51:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

please i need you help i love 2 girls and i just wan to be with 1 of them. please help

2007-07-24 07:51:41 · 31 answers · asked by Jorge C 2 in Other - Family & Relationships

her husband was coming on to me one night when we were very intoxicated; so I reciprocated, however it stopped before anything really happened. He came over to my house, he asked if he could and he brought alcohol, none of this was my idea.She was out of town during this time and he has since told her what happened. She won't even let me speak my side of the story. Of course, she wants to blame it all on me so she doesn't have to deal with his quilt in this. Nothing had ever happened before between us, EVER. Now my 2 other children believe whatever it is that she's saying also and they are angry with me too.

The funny thing is that my close friends who I've told about it say I'm not at fault. I really am responsible for some of it, but please tell me if there's anything I can do to get her to listen or talk to me?

2007-07-24 07:50:32 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

How likely wouldyou be to date a 23 year old single mom?
With one infant and the rest of your relationship is perfect?

2007-07-24 07:50:14 · 14 answers · asked by cuetee220 2 in Singles & Dating

2007-07-24 07:50:08 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

What would you get your girlfriend for her birthday?
What would you give your girlfriend for valentines day?
Would you buy anything for her when you go to the mall with her?
Do you care for how they look or their personality?

*Be Honest*

2007-07-24 07:48:43 · 10 answers · asked by prettywomen 1 in Singles & Dating

Why you ask? It's because one of my best guy friends asked me out, and I said no so it wouldn't ruin our friednship. And he made the blame comepletely on me, because he said he opens up to me like he did to his late grandma. I feel so horrible now, because not many people see him like that. He told me he regrets acting that like me at all because I hurt him. He says, quoted "I opened up for you. And what you do? Rip out my heart and stomp on it." I couldn't even sleep good and I'm crying right now because I feel horrible. What to do??

2007-07-24 07:48:30 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

Im starting high school in a bout 5 weeks im nervous and i just want to know what is a good way to make friends and to stand out and be different?? Thank You for your time. =) p.s. I dont want to be popular or whatever but i want people to know me.

2007-07-24 07:46:48 · 36 answers · asked by your own disaster 1 in Singles & Dating

right there's someone at work whom i used to get along with very well, she's female btw. something happened a fwe mths ago at work which was resolved, but ever since then i became v careful about what i did at work, although she kept giving me come-ons. but i think after a while she got tired of it, recently because i was leaving at the end of this week, i spoke to her 2 weeks ago, just telling her how i thought our friendship was cool because i seem to get along with her so well and that she had always been very ncie to me. she liked it and she was quite friendly ever since. but after a while i just thought, maybe i should at least go on 1 date with her, just at least there's some consolation to what could've happened. but i didn't dare ask her out because i had to be very careful with what i did, so i was trying to get her to do it, but she didn't, i think she has a boyfrend somewhere at work, but at the same time she is quite interested in me (i.e. flirting) how should i ask her?

2007-07-24 07:44:25 · 1 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Okay, so heres the situation.....I have custody of my 4 yr old child through a restraining order that is against her father. He has a violent temper. In the order it states that he may have visitation with her every wed. and every other weekend. Now, recently me and my current boyfriend have had some financial problems and our only option is to leave the state we are in now for a better paying job ( ALOT better ) Legally if i dissolve the restraining order i can leave the state and there is nothing her father can do to stop me unless he hires an attorney and goes to court. Now i was planning on not telling him until i was already gone, for the reason of him being violent and being afraid of what he will do to me. He hasn't paid is childsupport in months and has caused us nothing but problems. My current bf is the one supporting HIS child, so I believe it is in the best interest of her to go where the money is. And set up some kind of visitation when i get to the where i am going

2007-07-24 07:44:09 · 18 answers · asked by cari210kel 3 in Family

to him several times. I never cheated on him. I want to work things out so we can be a family and I have been working very hard to maintain a better honest relationship with him but it seems almost daily there are new things he accuses me of. Now he is demanding my cell phone records, email passwords ect. Last nite I woke up and he was searching the phone all to find nothing. I know it will take time to trust me again and it has not been long of us trying again but I feel violated and dont think I can take constant absurd accusations. He is not free from his dirt he has been caught in a lie once and has done a multitude of other things as well that Im willing to forgive. Is it wrong to say sorry I know I lied and it wont happen again, youve donr many things to lets wipe the slate clean and move on? I dont want to be searched and checked up on not because Im hiding anything but because he says he thinks Im cheating but I never have!! HELP!! Should I just sit back n take this?

2007-07-24 07:43:03 · 14 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Marriage & Divorce