Family & Relationships - 28 July 2007

I have been married for almost 6 years and headed for a divorce. I love my wife dearly and I want to be strong, but it is almost impossible. She is my strength...but she always uses that where I'm weak. I want to be stronger, but I don't want to hurt/lose her. I have several downfalls.
I am an acoholic. I drink at least a pint a day, but I usually don't get drunk. I know I need to stop and I want her to help...but she says it's up to me.
I smoke weed. I blaze every day and smoke Blacks/cigarettes when I'm not. I am a smoker.
I procrastinate. I say a million things that should be done and do about 10 of them.
I am out of shape. I am 6'2 and 225 with an "okay" build. I'm not fat, but I ain't what I used to/could be.
I am argumentative. I like to talk about things in depth. I know I should just let some things go, but it's nearly impossible.
I do love her as I said. I never cheated, hit her, or failed my financial responsibilities.
Now she doesn't even want friendship. Answers?

2007-07-28 23:43:49 · 20 answers · asked by thisguy 3 in Marriage & Divorce

Firstly my apologies if this all sounds so pityful. I recently got married, however, since returning from honeymoon, my new husband has just gone back to his sloppy ways, thoughtless ways. Everytime I try and talk to him about anything, it's like having a conversation with a stroppy teen. He seems to spend most of his time sleeping, or playing on his computer. I feel so alone with everything, it's making me feel really bitter towards our life together. We own our home, and have lots of nice things, but he doesn't seem to appreciate any of it or respect any of the responsibilities that come with it. I spent my whole life working really hard to have my own home, the nice car, and little luxuries, my new husband is now a part of all that. I feel like he should want to look after our home, to care what i think and feel about things, but all i ever see him do, is winge, or sleep, or play stupid card games on the pc. This is not how i saw marriage, I have tried talking things through...

2007-07-28 23:29:19 · 28 answers · asked by troublewithacapitaltee 2 in Marriage & Divorce

There's this guy who looks as creepy as michael jackson (because of a birth defect) and he has a crush on me. He gave me a note and necklace and keeps smiling at me whenever I see him which is every week cause he goes to my church. I feel sorry for him because I'm probably the first girl he's liked and I know he has really low self esteme and is really shy because of the way he looks. But the reason I don't like him is not the way he looks but because we have absolutely nothing in common- he likes movies, tv shows, and books I can't stand, he listens to music I would never listen to, plus (and this is a big issue) he speaks a entirely different language- litterally. So how do I tell him as kindly as I can that I don't like him???

2007-07-28 23:23:49 · 14 answers · asked by generic 3 in Singles & Dating

2007-07-28 23:19:47 · 27 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Singles & Dating

could this lead to some disaster ?
or would it be advisable to confine her problems to another girl instead?

2007-07-28 23:18:07 · 24 answers · asked by Eric Chua Yanshan Maynas 3 in Singles & Dating

Seems like I will fairly much be raising my young daughter on my own. This is no great problem, from day 1 my daughter has been closer to me than her mother, although only 5 now, she is very very close, does never ask for/miss her mother, who she see's occasionally, is smart, forward for her age, and admired by friends/teachers -
My query is how do those of you, likewise raised by a father, [ who was very caring, but also older than most of your friends parents] feel about your upbringing. Did it create difficulties, I guess i am thinking in particular during teenage years ?
Any thoughts much appreciated.

2007-07-28 23:15:42 · 9 answers · asked by TPE 2 in Family

well i posted a question 'how do you know if a guy really loves you' and got some good answers and well many wanted to know my age. well i 17 and he is 20 and i met his granny and his aunt and i like them and him alot. but now my ex wants me back..........well my ex and i dated for about a year and then he popped the question and i ran away. oh and in our country lots of people get married young.......why do i always attract th 'commited' guys? it sucks really because all i want is a boyfriend. maybe i should move out of south africa! what do you guys think?

2007-07-28 23:12:37 · 12 answers · asked by MISSKINKY 3 in Singles & Dating

I lost my wife to an affair that she has had since I was deployed to Iraq as a US Soldier. I love my wife with all of my heart and want her back, and can even forgive her, but she was angry with me for having to leave her and sayws that she just got tired of being alone. Is there any hope at all for saving my marriage of nearly ten years? She says that she really cares for this person and that he is good to her. I just dont know what to do. Should I just let her go, or fight for what I truly believe in my heart is mine?

2007-07-28 22:31:10 · 26 answers · asked by bravo 1 in Marriage & Divorce

I do have a BF and I never asked him what he thinks...is it too proud to ask him what he thinks?

2007-07-28 22:29:57 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I am currently getting marriage counselling. The counselling sessions seem to draw me to a conclusion I should leave my wife.

I got married really young, I am very different to my wife, I have fallen for another woman (but not pursued that physically), I wish my wife was a different type of person - she could be more confident, ambitious, outgoing. I am sick of spending nights at home and not out.

The other side of it is that my wife is a great person. She is loyal and loving.

She doesnt want our marriage to end despite me telling her how I feel about this other woman.

I am now 35. My wife is 30 and tells me that if I leave her I have ruined her life. She feels she is too old to meet a new guy and remarry and have kids. She feels she will be a lonely spinster.

This lack of self confidence is one of the things I really dont like about her.

She believes committment is a choice. A choice I made when we got married and I am obligated to stay with her.

2007-07-28 22:23:11 · 15 answers · asked by Stone Heart 1 in Marriage & Divorce

Well after all people believe that it's ok for two men or two women to get married and they claim that it's ok aslong as they both love each other and are committed to each other, wel what about a brother and sister who love each other and are committed to each other should they be allowed to get married to.

If one perversion such as homosexuality is tolerated and accepted then it allows other perversions to be tolerated and accepted to. Also what about bigamy and polygamy, should they both be legal, if a man wants to marry 2 or 5 or 10 women should he be allowed to, i mean after all love and committment is all that matters right so therefor it would only seem right to allow the man to marry the 2 or 5 or 10 women wouldnt it.

Or vice versa a woman wants to marry 2 or 5 or 10 men and she claims to love them all and be committed to them all it would only be fair for her to be allowed to marry them wouldnt it.

2007-07-28 22:08:33 · 18 answers · asked by john M 1 in Marriage & Divorce

Most times he denies he's done anything to me and then he says he's sorry he'll never do it again, but it alway happens again. Today he pushed me and grabbed me by the arm in front of our 5 year old. Is it just me or this is wrong? he is usually such a normal person but it seems to me he has no self control.

2007-07-28 22:03:51 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

My husband was an only child, and he was married before, but devoriced, and his children say nothing belongs to me and it only belongs to their daddy, am I wrong thinking that I took care of his mother, while none of them were around to help that what ever is his is mine, been married since august 6, 1997? 10 yrs is along time isn't it, and when I moved into his mother house with me, it told me it was my house, I am so confused what is wrong? greedy, selfish, okay I see both, buth how do i make my point?

2007-07-28 21:51:07 · 14 answers · asked by flannelpajamas1 4 in Marriage & Divorce

I am a 27 year old guy, and have had a lack of romantic relationships in my life. I get VERY few opportunities, and on occasions I have been too shy to take those opportunities.

I have become increasingly frustrated, and saw a counsellor who gave me some advice, including "not pursuing women who were already attached to guys".

A few months back, I was acquainted with this girl, who was interested in me. She asked me to help her with school assignments, and at one point grabbed my hand and put it on her thigh. But, she was dating another guy at the time and this discouraged me from reciprocating her interest (even though I was attracted to her).

Eventually, she lost interest in me and I am now out of touch with her. These days, I blame myself everyday for not having responded positively to her. I also blame my counsellor for confusing me (by advising me to not pursue girls who are already attached)... I am feeling depressed and feel like I lost my only chance... how do I cope?

2007-07-28 21:27:37 · 22 answers · asked by average_joe 1 in Singles & Dating

Unfortanately my wife and I are getting a divorce. Were in the paperwork and filing stages. This is a no-fault divorce. I went to war and we grew to be to seperate people. Long-distance relationships suck but long-distance marriage will tear you apart. We talk to eachother in a civilized manner, we split everything with no fighting.

But now we have 2 new sets of friends hers and mine. I know nothing about her friends and she doesn't know mine. How soon is to soon to start dating for both her and I. I know we've both thought about it... and do you think it will help you move on.

2007-07-28 21:13:44 · 14 answers · asked by C0MS3C . 2 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-07-28 21:12:53 · 18 answers · asked by ellen 4 in Marriage & Divorce

I'm just curious about Leviticus 20:21

2007-07-28 21:11:31 · 7 answers · asked by jsprplc2006 4 in Marriage & Divorce

We've been close friends for 3 yrs - he's liked me from the very beginning. We talk about everything and he's always been there for me. Friends say he's always "adored"/respected me.
Earlier this year, i realized i fell for him and he still felt the same way. He's a "late bloomer" - he's never had a girlfriend, kiss, physical contact, etc...until me. We decided that it wasn't the "right time" to be in a relationship right now b/c he wanted it to be the "right time": "long lasting, serious, and real."

A few months back, he lost someone very close to him. During those months, i've reached out to him, let him know he was there but avoided me completely. Now that we're starting to talk again, i know there's been something on my mind because he's been avoiding me (woman instinct). We had a "convo"and pretty much it's been him pushing me to be with other guys...i KNOW for a fact it's just a cover up for him probably feeling he can't be with me...but he wouldn't tell me straight up. Fr. how he was talking, his ego was talking, talking like he knew the "game" of dating when in reality, he's never "had" a girl. He finally sent me a TXT msg explaining that i shouldn't "wait for him", and that i'm "grown enough" to hear this it was his deciding factor that we should "still be friends no matter what".

i feel completely DISREPSECTED bc this drama wouldn't have happened if he didn't tell me this right away. and who said i was waiting for him? i reached out b/c i was worried about how he was dealing with the death. If anything, he would have the manners to stop avoiding me, talk to me face to face and not assume and decide our status. b/c of the fact that we've been friends, i felt that he handled this situation poorly.

What do i do?

2007-07-28 21:09:17 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

This girl is a little younger and a little less mature than I am. I am 25, but she is great. She's fun, sassy and crazy about me. I'm a big dater and have know many different types of girls. This one seems different. How do I know? What makes her the one I should really put time into? Yes I like her but I've been hurt before and I do not want to waste time or be hurt again. She stands out from the rest of the girls I've dated, which is a very good thing but how do I know?

2007-07-28 21:07:52 · 5 answers · asked by macgyverc3 2 in Singles & Dating

When she says what happens in vegas stays in vegas what the hell does that mean? Am i being jelous? She went with her crazy girl friends and are going to go club hopping till the sun comes up. I also noticed in the last day or so before she left she was not the same would not say i love you just bye like i was some stranger. I dont trust her. She never invites me to go clubbing with her friends. And when she does she doesnt introduce me as her boyfriend. She also always says i feel bad as if she did something wrong the next day. Should I dump her?

2007-07-28 21:04:07 · 6 answers · asked by etniesbiker 1 in Singles & Dating

He says that because he wasn't "with" her till after he moved out and I can't prove otherwise, that they courts won't consider it adultery. He hasn't filed anything yet but has had a lawyer on contingency. (btw, she's pregnant and they're both sure it's his)

He also says that because we the home we are in isn't martial property that he doesn't have to provide me with a place to live. That he can take our daughter into his home and leave my shelter in my hands to deal with even though I haven't got a job.

We live in TN.

2007-07-28 21:03:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

2007-07-28 21:00:50 · 7 answers · asked by letgoletflow26 2 in Marriage & Divorce

i love one girl who has engaged but she is also love with me but she fear about her family & her fiancee what should we do?

2007-07-28 20:55:27 · 22 answers · asked by sam 1 in Singles & Dating

2007-07-28 20:52:10 · 5 answers · asked by anusul 1 in Singles & Dating

My fiance/cousin wants a traditional barn wedding but I am leaning towards an upscale wedding at the local mobile home dealership. I've contacted the local country radio station and they have agreed to broadcast, live. The reason I chose the mobile home dealership is because I figure we could use the triple-wide for the actual wedding then use a double-wide for the reception and use the multitude of single-wides as "resort rentals" for the guests. I have also contacted the nationally syndicated radio talk show duo Rick & Bubba and they have agreed to perform the ceremony. My question is if I can get my fiance/cousin to agree to my wishes should I serve Vienna Sausages and Bud Lite or Spam and Natural Light at the reception?
P.S. We's gonna have a real good time. Y'all come down now, ya hear?!

2007-07-28 20:49:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Weddings

My friend stole something a long while ago (an MP3 from a teacher's desk) and this one big, strong, stupid guy heard about it. My friend felt so bad for what he did that he tried to return it but then the big fat stupid guy (He gets Ds) started blackmailing him about it. He's always getting him to do his homework, right his tests, give him money and to train his runescape (An online role playing game) account (Soley because he can sell that account for loads of money). My friend is always breaking out in tears because of this. He told him if he tells they've been blackmailing him he'll kick his *** and if he gets expelled he'll get people he know to kick his ***, same goes for anyone else who tells.

I really hate seeing him cry all the time and he can never hang out with us because he always has to do stuff for the big fat retard.

What can I do to help, or what can he do???

2007-07-28 20:48:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Friends

How about "damaged goods"?

What do people mean when they use these terms?

Thanks,

Flavio

2007-07-28 20:47:29 · 14 answers · asked by ? 3 in Marriage & Divorce

2007-07-28 20:47:06 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

Should you just give them what they want....cheap sex with no strings!

2007-07-28 20:45:33 · 13 answers · asked by ? 3 in Marriage & Divorce

I had 3 broken marriages.
my mom died of cardiac arrest after learning of dad's infidelity. afterwhich, my 1st marriage went stormy. then 2 more came after. causes? my over-possessiveness & jealousy. it's difficult for me to trust. mom's fate keeps floating on my mind.
i don't work things out; i run or push the man away- my defense mechanism. bcoz i don't wanna get hurt. yet, i do all d time, everytime.

2007-07-28 20:44:31 · 7 answers · asked by wildflower 1 in Other - Family & Relationships