for a girl who already has a long term relationship, is it ok to confine her problems to a male outsider?

Question

could this lead to some disaster ?
or would it be advisable to confine her problems to another girl instead?

yup confide
thanks for spotting the typo

Answer 1

If the relationship is solid and there is love and trust and no secrets or walls then why would she need to confide in another male surely if she had a problem with teh boyfriend then she should sit down and talk it out with him not some other male who will probably only interfere and most likely have alterior motives !!!!!!!!!If you cant confide in your bf/ gf....then whats the point...where is the relationship going. whats it based on. why is there lack of trust these are just some questions you may have already asked yourself if not then think about it carefully!.

Answer 2

it is a very rare occasion that a male doesn't want sex. So it's not ok for a female to confide her problems in another male unless the he is a family member of hers and even then it would be a sensitive matter, or it is ok if she is seeing a professional psychologist, or she has known that male for many many years and nothing has ever transpired with that person and he is not jealous of any relationship she has, etc. Frankly, I don't think her confiding in another woman is advisable, again unless that female is a professional psychologist and she has set an appointment.to try to solve something. A lot of people slip though and confide in the wrong people and we should give them some slack but only if they understand who they should be confiding in.

Sometimes it depends on the topic of the confidence.

Answer 3

I have been with my husband for almost 7 years (dating and marriage total).

I think for those in a serious LTR, especially marriage, it is deadly to take problems to someone of the opposite sex. Even if intentions are innocent, the shoulder to cry on can always develop new chemistry between 2 unsuspecting people.

It's best to confide in your partner and open up to them about what's on your mind. If that doesn't work, talk to a trusted friend of the same sex or a family member, or, if the situation warrants, seek professional help. You should be careful with any of these options as well, because if you have too many people that know about the inner workings of the relationship, then it starts getting very crowded.

Answer 4

If a girl has to go out side of her long term relationship to get a guys point of view this means that in her heart the relationship ended a while ago. It doesn't matter if it is male or female no girl or guy should go outside of their relationship to discuss personal matters.

Answer 5

Well, whether its ok or not, it always happened that way. I guess they think that man dont spread gossips that much. I have many such soul mates and also seen many such "friendships" in the office. And, I also saw many misunderstandings started that way. Many a girl would in the first place, try to prevent some disater from happening by first introducing their "best friends" to their boyfriends. No matter how open you are to your partner about that friend, things are bound to happen because when something happens, people tend to compare you to their friends and jealousy starts. So, its very difficult to say if it is ok to confide. You have to confide in someone anyway. To let the partner know about it is another thing. But it he or she finds out, it is still the same ending.

Answer 6

even when you are in a solid relationship, at times feel like seeking a friendly soul. the gender doesn't matter. the basic trust and bond is important for any relationship. the girl should be smart enough to judge the outsider before confiding family matters, which are too personal.

Answer 7

When i hit a milestone, i can't help but confide in someone, male or female. I feel better. If i confide in my husband, it usually end up him being defensive and trying his very best to get himself an excuse. 3rd party's advice is always neutral. i think...

Answer 8

Everyone is free to chose who they trust and who they share with. Plenty of girls seek the opinion of their male friends on relationship issues. It's only wrong if it is the root of gossip about her partner.

Answer 9

it could help the girl understand the particular problem from a male view and perhaps easier to discuss with the friend versus the partner. but, it could also create jealousy or doubt in the mind of the male,feeling she cant talk to him about their relationship. Tread carefully

Answer 10

my best friend is a man. he is wonderful and i must add quited attractive. but i am not attracted to him. he is my dear friend and i look to him like a brother. my husband knows him and understands our relationship. he is the person i turn to for a shoulder to cry on.

it is possible to have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex. i am living proof. it may be rare, but it is definitely possible.
it makes it easier when i am having problems in my relationship to talk to him and get the 'other' side. he is honest and very helpful. many many times i have been able to listen to his words and understand better.

i have no use for having a friend based strictly on gender. good people come in male and female, the idea that i have to choose my friends on gender is ridiculous to me.