I had 3 broken marriages.
my mom died of cardiac arrest after learning of dad's infidelity. afterwhich, my 1st marriage went stormy. then 2 more came after. causes? my over-possessiveness & jealousy. it's difficult for me to trust. mom's fate keeps floating on my mind.
i don't work things out; i run or push the man away- my defense mechanism. bcoz i don't wanna get hurt. yet, i do all d time, everytime.
2007-07-28 20:44:31 · 7 answers · asked by wildflower 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you should see a counselor, and tell them the exact same thing you said here.
Kudos to you for still trying, though.
2007-07-28 20:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have a major problem trusting anyone male and female.
Have been cheated on a few times, my marriage ended coz my husband spent more time at work than at home with me and our daughter. My mother never showed love or affection and I now have the least contact I can have as she is not a nice person.
My current partner knows I have trust issues. I openly told him when we met (once we had seen each other a cpl times) that I would probably never be able to trust him and though that might change over time that it how it is at the moment. He understood and said he would be patient. 18months later, we still together but he knows I don't trust him 100%. The thing is I know he will never cheat on me, I just can't trust anyone with my feelings 100%. I am not paranoid or anything like that
its just that for over 32 years the times I have trusted someone they have let me down. And the wall I buuilt is so high I can't even see the tip of it.
So I don't try. I give what I can to my partner and he appreciates that. As I love him for being the patientand kind man that he is.
I don't know if we will be together in 10 years time but I do know I have great memories and hundreds of fun times to look back. If I didnt take the risk of dating anyone I wuldn't be having my brekkie made for me right now=D
A day at a time babe, do only what you are happy with inside. Trust your gut feelings.
Good luck
2007-07-29 04:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by angelrose0105 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well the answers above me are good...and what i am about to say might sound chessy and i am sorry for that but i just have to say it...
i am sorry about what has happend to you...
get to know him as much as you can before making a huge commitment...and its always gonna be hard for us female to trust a man 100%...men these days are just not like what they used to be...but
if your heart wants him and loves him...just take the risk and give in...i mean running away all the time will just keep you in wonder of what could of......happend....just risk it to find out if this is really the one. if it doesn't work out well at least you made amazing memories and just hold them...and store it away so you can find room for another love.....i hope you find lasting love. and just trust him...i mean TOO MUCH jeaoulsy and possesiveness is always gonna break up the relationship and that is actually a main cause for guys to cheat and stuff....and sometimes trusting him may reduce it a little for some of them. for those others well they are just plain nasty and don't deserve anyone.
i know its hard because of your moms fate...but just be strong in your mind and heart...and if you find happiness take your mom with you in your heart so she can feel the happiness in her spirit.
2007-07-29 03:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just give your partner a benefit of a doubt, sometimes our instincts put us in trouble and we continue feeding our mind on something that is not happening at all..
keep an open mind and do not let your past run your life
its not good at all..
2007-07-29 04:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by RevLonxXx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try setting this guy up
make a phony email act like some girl looking for action and send it to this email and see what he does?
if he deletes it and tells you about it then hes not looking for any one but you, now if he acts on it then you got him
2007-07-29 03:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fear is evry1s worst enemy. it stiffles u. conquer your fear and trust someone. not all men are unfathful. 13 years with my one and only!
2007-07-29 03:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Johnny N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problems......and it will ruin your life ..just as it has ruined mine....some times you have to take risks ..love is always a risk.......people get hurt................its pretty lonely playing it safe......................................................................
2007-07-29 03:54:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋