I lost my wife to an affair that she has had since I was deployed to Iraq as a US Soldier. I love my wife with all of my heart and want her back, and can even forgive her, but she was angry with me for having to leave her and sayws that she just got tired of being alone. Is there any hope at all for saving my marriage of nearly ten years? She says that she really cares for this person and that he is good to her. I just dont know what to do. Should I just let her go, or fight for what I truly believe in my heart is mine?
2007-07-28 22:31:10 · 26 answers · asked by bravo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just let her go.
Do you REALLY want to be with someone who isn't prepared to give you the love and respect you deserve?
It is hard at first, but it will be much better off. You are doing yourself a favor.
I'm sorry to hear about this, and best of luck.
2007-07-28 22:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by twice. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Quite honestly, I think that you should let her go. She is having an affair while you're serving your country, at the very least she deserves to lose you. When you married, she took the vows (you know, for better or worse, forsaking all others) and she had to have known that it would be hard while you were away. She could have done a lot of things. She could have talked to a counselor if she needed to deal with the separation, she didn't need to start having an affair. I'm pissed off at her and I don't know her. I think it is a good thing that you forgave her, but I don't think that she deserves for you to fight for her.
I wish you the best in resolving this, and I hope that your heart can heal.
2007-07-29 01:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by Court 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother (and I say this because I was also once long ago in the military).
Let her go. If she can not understand the way of life after so many years, nothing you do will make her understand or change.
don't let anger damage your heart. and this lonelyness and pain you feel must be nurtured with love so that it wont destroy you with anger and hate as time goes on.
It will be hard at first, but eventually you will find someone else.
At this time don't look to replace her, just look to have fun. soon this fun will turn into something more and then you will know that you are ready to move on.
It is commendable that you are willing to forgive and forget and the next person you give your life to will be luckier to have someone like you.
"I asked nothing from those who gave nothing and reluctantly accepted the thought of eternal loneliness...should I fail."
SOLDIER: George L Skypeck
2007-07-28 22:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by jaramir99 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man you got left while serving our country, you know how many of my buddies that happen while we were deployed forget that. Your off serving in the war providing a roof over her head, money in the bank and this is how she repays you finds someone else to keep the nest warm while your away. Man thats just wrong and you should want better for yourself, it's hard to walk away sometimes but sometimes that's all you can do. If you really want her back though find somebody to keep your attention, stop paying your wife so much attention and it will start to drive her crazy the thought of you being with somebody else. Sometimes you got to play the game to get what you want but from past experiences and seeing friends go through it, it's just better to heal and let go. You'll find someone to appreciate what your bringing to the table trust me. Theres always somebody looking for a man in a uniform.
2007-07-28 22:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by letgoletflow26 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad you can forgive your wife, but if she cant except that and gets angry cause you have to leave her, let it go. She gets mad at you for getting deployed ( which you cant help) and then when you say you would still be with her, despite the wrong doing she gets mad at you.. Her heart is not in it any more.
2007-07-28 22:56:06 · answer #5 · answered by slimchicks3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a different spin on this situation. So in the 10 years you have been married how many deployments have you been on? Deployments are the life of the military member and their families. You need to figure out what your duty is. If you want your wife back you will have to give up the military. If for some reason, due to enlisted commitment, you can't get out I say you need to let her go. I know this decision is harder to make miles away from home but it must be made.
2007-07-28 22:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
First off, I want to thank you very much for fighting for our great country. My prayers are with you and the rest of the troops.
File for divorce, she doesn't love you, or she would have waited for you.You need to face reality and get over her. She has broken her marriage vows and has committed adultery. You don't want someone who doesn't want you and who would do this to you. Especially when you are away fighting for your country, how awful she is. You will go through a grieving period, you should seek counseling. She will just step on your broken heart if you try to get her back.
2007-07-29 03:29:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK soldier, let's break it down logically.
You can't do a damn thing about this situation from where you are now, so put this out of your mind...NOW! and that's an order.
Pondering this day in and day out in a combat zone will get you or someone else killed. You need to concentrate right now on other women. find yourself a penpal or a girl on the base and try to become friends with them. These positive relationships will get you through this 1st phase.
Now, once you rotate back to the world, if you still love your wife like now, try your hardest to win her love back but remember this... you were able to move on without her in a combat zone, if you have to learn to move on without her in the real world, then you have your own experiences to fall back on to get you through it.
Drive on soldier.
2007-07-28 22:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let go
Do you really want a woman who has shown her true colours.
If you do get back together Then next time she wants an affair she will find another reasion why it is you fault
2007-07-28 22:42:36 · answer #9 · answered by pestie58 the spider hunter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her go. You went for duties towards your country. If your wife can be so selfish and leave you because you didnt spend time with her, she should have realised this when you got married. The relationship is finished as far as i am concerned. She has clearly told you that she cares about that guy more than you. I suggest you move on with your life and let her move on with hers.
2007-07-28 22:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Milind Desai 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋