He told me that him and his wife were not having sex, things weren't good, & sleepn on the couch currently and for a year prior to me meeting him. At the 2 year point, I read in print that him and his wife had a baby. He has not admitted to me the truth. He says he wants to get a divorce because he's not happy with her. I asked to see the separation papers, that he said he filed. Now, 10 months have passed and still I haven't seen any papers. He has told me that he loves me and wants to be w/ me and how he wants us to have a future together. He tells me that he puts me number one, however, many days & nights I sat here waiting and waiting. No pr Something he said "he wanted". How do i get over the hurt, anger, pain, betrayal, and emotional and spiritual heartache when he vowed so much to be open and I naively feel in to web of deception? Haven't talked to him in a little over a week, and he has made absolutely no effort to call. WHAT IS HE SAYING?HELP!!
2007-07-24 07:51:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most of us want to believe that others are sincere in their intentions especially when they start creating plans for the future with you in it. However, you've learned the hard way that this person has lied, leading you to believe you'd be together and this was his way of controlling you.
Unfortunately, there's no easy way to get over the pain he has caused you. As of today, I would make a plan to do something special for yourself and surround yourself with people that love you (family or friends). Know that there is someone better to spend your life with.
It will be hard for a VERY long time (speaking from experience here). The reality is that you were in an emotionally unhealthy relationship. The good news is it's now finally over, please don't try to connect with him, end all contact for your own best interest.
2007-07-24 08:30:11 · answer #1 · answered by Perplexed 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You took this risk when you got involved with a married man. You think you feel bad? Think of his wife who has been loyal to him throughout. Who had his BABY and is being screwed around on. This man is not a good person, and you yourself have some things to answer for here. My suggestion, get mad. Call his wife, and tell her calmly and respectfully that he told you that they were in the process of getting a divorce, and all the little nasty things he said about her. Tell her you're leaving him, and if she had any sense she would too, beause with you gone he's just going to find someone else. After that the pain of it is yours to deal with. I understand he hurt you, but you helped hurt someone else. The burden is yours to make ammends, after that I bet you leave the whole thing with a peacefull heart. Just remember not all men are like that, and next time you find a guy who's "Getting a divorce" ask to see the paperwork, and make sure he's moved out before you hop in the sack.
2007-07-25 09:02:45 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess Nikki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously been used. This man has told you numerous lies in order to have you continue to sleep with him and you have chosen to believe every one of them. If he has been telling you that he intends to leave her for four years and has not yet done so.....do you really think he ever will?? You allowed yourself to become involved and fall in love with a married man. Even after you read in print that he had a child with his wife two years into your relationship, you continued on with him. While I understand that it must be painful for you, it is time to finally end things with him for good. What he is saying by not calling is simply that he doesn't care one way or another. Though he will likely call you the next time he wants some $eX. Be honest with yourself, this man is a jerk and you are lucky that you are not his wife. You should be happy to be free of him and this whole messed up situation. Stay strong, do not have any contact with him and find yourself a man who wants to be with you and only you.
2007-07-24 15:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sophie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same old story about not loving his wife and sleeping on the couch.It's been told time and time again through the years.
Women keep falling for it and I can't understand why.
How can you love him when he lied to you,hurt you,betrayed you and caused you so much pain.
I would be so angry,there would be no room for love left in me.He would disgust me and I would despise him.
He'll never leave his wife and used you to his own advantage.He's saying to you that this is where he wants to be.WITH HIS WIFE AND CHILD.
You're better off without this loser and cheater in your life.Thank God that you are rid of him.You deserve better.
All the best.
2007-07-24 15:05:11 · answer #4 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut to the chase. Go to the wife and talk to her. Be honest and ask her what is going on. Most likely she will be shocked because he's a big liar. Then he just might get that divorce and you will feel better for teaching a liar that lies sometimes back fire.
2007-07-24 15:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How disheartening to know the person you love is giving all their love and time and devotion to someone else.
There are few things worse in life than when someone you love is with someone else. Your life stops. you are devastated, and in many ways there is a feeling of hopelessness. Most of all, you are feeling life will never be the same.
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2007-07-24 15:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by bylovemagic 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie right now in the eyes of God, you are the "home wrecker", you need to stop, most men that only think of themselves will say anything to get what they wanted from outside married life. Now that you know,get out and don't say that you really love him and can't leave without him,this is nonesense............be smart and get out for your own self respect...........
2007-07-24 15:02:43 · answer #7 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cut all ties, have no more contact, and move on. When he finally calls, don't answer. Give yourself some time to get back on your feet, and then ask yourself why you were willing to settle for so little.
And no-- he's never going to leave his wife, and he's never going to marry you.
2007-07-24 14:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by palan57 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His wife probably doesn't know a thing. He just wants to bang you from time to time for hobby.
Good luck
2007-07-24 14:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG are you so stupid as to actually want to be with a married man? Once a cheater always a cheater - trust me I know!
2007-07-24 14:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋