Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-02 13:16:04 · 10 answers · asked by Hey! 1

2006-11-02 13:14:11 · 13 answers · asked by freezerburn 2

Once, a family was driving along a road when they saw a nun. She was holding out her thumb, hitchiking. The family picked her up, and the nun thank them.
A little later, they went to a restruant called Chubby Burger. The nun said, "may i please use the restroom."
"You may be excused" the mom said
30 minutes passed, and the family got worried. So they went to see if she was there, and the nun was laying on the floor dead with blood all around her. A couple, the nun was sitting at the table with them eating her burger. How can this be?

Do you know the answer? I not sure what it is. I'll post what i think after 10 answers.

2006-11-02 13:13:49 · 6 answers · asked by taylor ! 4

2006-11-02 13:09:07 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-02 13:02:00 · 17 answers · asked by harrypotterschick07 2

There must be the end and once upon a time and must have a setting and a problem and a solution to that problem. begin!

2006-11-02 13:01:05 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have five letters.
I describe something that contains nothing.
Remove my first letter,
and I sound the same.
Remove my last letter,
and I sound no different.
Take away my middle letter,
and you still will know me.
What am I?

2006-11-02 12:57:36 · 7 answers · asked by missmozee 3

A man, his wife, and their two young sons came to a river they has to cross. On the riverbeank they found a boat that they could use, but a notice inside the boat said that they could carry only one hundred pounds at a time. The man weighed a hundred pounds and so did his wife (they were on the crack diet I guess). The boys each weighed about fifty pounds. How did they cross the river without overloading the boat?

2006-11-02 12:44:06 · 17 answers · asked by missmozee 3

Detective Roberts was investigating a crime. In a house in a wealthy neighborhood, someone had broken the glass on the patio door, let himself in, taken a valuable painting, and left in the same route. A maid had discovered the theft (owners were away). It was during her cleaning, when she passed the livingroom, saw the door broken, then called the cops. The detective stepped onto the patio, the shards crushing beneath his feet against the patio cement, and examined the scene and found mud smudges under the glass. He asked the maid how long the painting had hung there. "two years", she replied. Detective Robertson turned to his partner. "Ask her more questions. This robbery involved inside help.

2006-11-02 12:41:20 · 13 answers · asked by Smo 4

the only thing i know is that the answer ends with an e.

2006-11-02 12:32:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st day:okay,im finally going to stop cussing,smoking,and drinking.








2nd day:o crap i left my f'n ciggarettes at the bar

2006-11-02 12:32:43 · 19 answers · asked by . 2

2006-11-02 12:27:15 · 18 answers · asked by heinrichs3 3

Deputy says," license and registration please"
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy "you didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
lawyer "I slowed down and no one was coming"
Deputy" You still didn't come to a complete stop. license and registration, please.
lawyer' "what'sthe differance"?
deputy" the differance is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. license and registration please"!
lawyer" If you can show me the legal difference between slowing down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go on my way, and don't give me the ticket."
deputy says:"that sounds fair, exit you're vehicle, sir.
at this point, the deputy takes out his night stick and starts beating the ever lovin crud out of the lawyer and says;
"Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?

ONLY IN TEXAS!!!!!

2006-11-02 12:15:15 · 10 answers · asked by dreamteam 2

Here it is: Roast Mules.
Yep, it forms one simple word children use all the time!
Of course 10 pts to the first...

2006-11-02 12:13:21 · 7 answers · asked by who da wha? 4

OH my grannies in the cellar
I"m surprised yeh canny smell her
Baking biscuits on her dammed old dirty stove
in her eye there is some matter
it keeps dripping in the batter
and she whistles while the snot runs doon her nose
OH give me home cooking that good old home cooking
and she whistles while the snot runs doon her nose

2006-11-02 12:08:34 · 12 answers · asked by celtic 4

so we've got 'angry' and hungry', but can anyone think/knows what the (supposed) third one is?

2006-11-02 12:02:51 · 12 answers · asked by Lucy Goosey 3

an epieptic young woman named camp
was seduced on her couch by a trampbut the first time he squeezed her
she had a grand seizure
and broke both his balls and a lamp

2006-11-02 12:00:27 · 13 answers · asked by i_love_ponys83 1

2006-11-02 11:58:56 · 1 answers · asked by granmum2002 1

A man take's a right than a left than another left and finally another left and sees a man with a mask on. Who was the man with the mask?

2006-11-02 11:58:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Next time when your professor ask: Are there any question with the exam?
You can answer by : Yes, the whole page is filled with questions.

2006-11-02 11:53:38 · 8 answers · asked by w 2

a young couple get married and the groom asks the bride if he can have his own dressor drawer of his own which he will never openthe bride agrees after 30 years of marriage she notices that his drawer is open she peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1000
she confronts him and asks for an explanantion
he replies "every time i cheatecon you i put a gol ball in there
she figures 3 times ibn thirty years aint bad
"but whats the $1000?"
"whenever i got a dozen golf balls i sold them"

2006-11-02 11:44:34 · 14 answers · asked by i_love_ponys83 1

ok tommorow is a girl's b day that my friend really dislikes her right now what are some good pranks to do on her like involing her "present". we (our clique dislikes her 2) so far thought about giving her a roll of toliet paper or klenex and say here so you can stuff your bra (she is a 304 if you no what that means) .are there any other things or pranks we can do ? please if u don't have a prank just don't say anything.

2006-11-02 11:39:39 · 10 answers · asked by hmmm... 3

how do you get down off an elephant?

you don't. you get down off a goose.

NOT FUNNY!

2006-11-02 11:31:28 · 18 answers · asked by ~mary~ 3

What is 6 inches long, has a big head, and women love it?
.....................................

keep thinking......

..................................

..................................

don't report it yet, it may not be what you think

...................................

...................................

can you think of anything else?

..................................

.................................

Ok here is the answer

..................................

.................................

Dollar bill!!
(What else could it be? You and your dirty mind.........)

2006-11-02 11:22:31 · 11 answers · asked by w 2

this is for my extra credit class:
Tell me some visual home made jokes...
For example:
item: lemon
procedure:dropping lemon on floor and call it lemon drop

Another example:
item:stick with fish head
procedure: calling it a fishstick

BE CREATIVE!!! thanks!

2006-11-02 11:22:07 · 7 answers · asked by Ryan 3

jane was becoming frustrated with her husband insistance to only have sex in the dark hoping to free her husband from his inhabitions during a passionate evening she flipped on the light only to discover a cucumber in his hand

"is this what youve been using on me for the last ten years"

"honey let me explain"

"You impotent SOB!!"

"speking of sneaky" he interupted

"maybe youd care to explain our two kids"

2006-11-02 11:21:44 · 20 answers · asked by i_love_ponys83 1

A woman journalist was walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..

2006-11-02 11:20:19 · 6 answers · asked by doubt devil 2

2006-11-02 11:14:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

GIVE THE FUNNIEST JOKE U GOT(I DON'T CARE IF IT IS A NASTY JOKE!!)

2006-11-02 11:07:10 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ sexylove ♥ 1

three women a blonde brunette and a red were standing in front of the judge all three women where being accused of a crime

a man came up to the brunette and pointed his gun at herhead
he said
"any last requests"
"yes i do... TORNADO"
everyone ducked down and the brunette ran out

after that he pointed the gun at the the reds head
he asked
"any last requests"
"yes i do... TWISTER"
everyone ducked again and she ran out

finnalley the man pointed the gun at the blonde and said
"any last request"
"yes i do.... FIRE

2006-11-02 11:06:06 · 21 answers · asked by i_love_ponys83 1