Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

wanna read something funny? have president bush write a speach

wanna here something really funny? you write a speach and have him read it

2006-07-06 12:31:00 · 14 answers · asked by blonde and beautiful 2

After giving a speech at an elementary school, President Bush allows the kids to ask a few questions.
One little boy, Billy, gathers the courage to raise his hand and asks, “How come you invaded Iraq without the support of the U.N.?”

Just as Bush begins to answer, the recess bell rings and he says they’ll continue afterward. Half an hour later the kids come back inside. “Where were we?” says George.

“Oh, yes - does anyone want to ask me anything?” A different boy raises his hand and says, “I have three questions:

First, why did you invade Iraq without support from the U.N.?

Why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

And third, where the heck is Billy?”

2006-07-06 12:22:14 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whoever can make up the best joke about a blonde male Canadian gets 375 free Avatars or ten songs of their choice plus the ten points.

2006-07-06 12:18:56 · 20 answers · asked by MrBudbag 3

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

2006-07-06 12:18:49 · 94 answers · asked by Anonymous

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students, Harry who thinks he's too smart for the 1st grade wants to be in the 3rd grade. She took Harry to the Principal's office. The Principal discusses with Ms.Brooks and decides to give Harry a test. If he failed the test, he should go back to the 1st grade.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

The principal tells Ms. Brooks, "Harry is smart enough, he can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms.Brooks then asks the principal if she, herself, could ask Harry some questions. The Principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms.Brooks asks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs"

Ms.Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry: "Pockets"

Ms.Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants"

.............

2006-07-06 12:09:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man came home from work one day and found his wife gone.She never returned that evening and the next morning she still wasn't home.This went on for three days.When he came home on the third day he found his wife going through the fridge and asked her,"where the hell have you been?" "I was kidnapped by three men who forced me to make love to them for a week" replied his wife."A week,but you've only been gone three days" said the husband,to which his wife replied "I know,but I was getting hungry"

2006-07-06 11:54:40 · 27 answers · asked by MrBudbag 3

1. the lion attacked: claude yarmoff
2. how to write big books: warren peace
3. the art of archery: beau n. arrow
4. songs for children: barbara blacksheep
5. irish heart surgery: angie o'pasty
6. split personalities: jacqueline hyde
7. under the bleachers: seymour butts
8. desert crossing: i. rhoda camel
9. school truancy: marcus absent
10. i was a cloakroom attendant: mahatma coate
11. i lost my balence: eileen dover and phil down
12. mystery in barnyard: hu flung dung
13. positive reinforcement: wade ago
14. shhh!: danielle soloud
15. the philippines post office: imelda letter
16. things to do at a party: bob frapples
17. stop arguing: xavier breath
18. come on in! doris open
19. the german bank robbery: hans zupp
20. i hate the sun: gladys knight
21. prison security: barb dwyer
22. irish first aid: r.u. o'kaye
23. my carrer as a clown: abe bozo
24. theres pus in your eye: lance boyle
25. my life on skid row: titus a. drum
26. i didnt do it: ivan alibi

2006-07-06 11:51:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Between W and VV?

2006-07-06 11:42:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-06 11:30:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. what are you thinking about
2. do you love me?
3. do i look fat?
4. do you think she is prettier than me?
5. what would you do if i died?

2006-07-06 11:27:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

Well? I would like to know. Tell me! :)

2006-07-06 11:26:59 · 13 answers · asked by blondjason1221 3

1 insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids
2 there is absolutly no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation
3 happiness is merely the remission of pain and absence of worry
4 nostalgia isnt what it used to be
5 the facts although interesting are irrelevant
6 some1 who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real word
7 things are more like they are today than they have ever been before
8 anything worth fighting 4 is worth fighting dirty for
9 everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler
10 friends may come and go and indeed they do but enemies accumulate
11 i have seen the truth and it makes no sense
12 suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism
13 if you think that there is good in everybody you havent met everybody
14 all things being equal fat people use more soap
15 if you can smile when things go wrong you have some1 in mind to blame
16 1/7th of your life is spent on monday

2006-07-06 11:21:06 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

hi! i am like in a real bad mood right now cause this bit.ch called me an Mutt cause i she got pis.sy with me and bit.ched and stuff. so i am in a bad mood! tell me funny jokes or something random to lighten my mood up cause if i don't get in a better mood i might cuss out my parents then i will get grounded again

2006-07-06 11:17:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

ive never heard any and i was just wondering what some of the jokes the blacks and mexicans say about us. i know plenty of jokes about them.

2006-07-06 11:13:59 · 19 answers · asked by DENNIS 3

2006-07-06 10:54:20 · 24 answers · asked by Lard Cherrybakins 4

Is it their husband's salary?

2006-07-06 10:48:47 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-06 10:46:14 · 23 answers · asked by ceebee1113 3

turnstile sideways...
Am i going to BangKok???.

2006-07-06 10:44:46 · 6 answers · asked by ? 5

Because a trash-can only has 2 handles!!!!!

2006-07-06 10:42:58 · 8 answers · asked by RabbitHellFoxHeaven 2

2006-07-06 10:39:14 · 11 answers · asked by brian h 3

The other one said, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH a talking muffin"

That one just kills me.

2006-07-06 10:34:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

MAKE ME LAUGH!!? JOKES..?.I Dont care..Can you make me laugh please.

2006-07-06 10:33:21 · 16 answers · asked by Free & Sassy 4

he wont tell me what it is he just gave me this clue here it is..:

please understand..put the bone enlarger around red

thats the clue(and it is not a condom)it also has 9 letters...help me!he thinks he can trick me and he doesnt care because he thinks no one will figure it out

2006-07-06 10:33:10 · 10 answers · asked by suga coatz 3

2006-07-06 10:21:42 · 22 answers · asked by Michaelstab 1

what when in water dont get wet?

2006-07-06 10:14:00 · 37 answers · asked by keamar 2

2006-07-06 10:08:11 · 15 answers · asked by Z, unnecessary letter 5

2006-07-06 10:07:27 · 13 answers · asked by Lovely 3

Sammy was chewing his nails. Joe laughed. why?

2006-07-06 10:01:47 · 11 answers · asked by aimeeee 3

And, also explain what you mean by what you just wrote. Unexplained abstract stuff is welcome too...

2006-07-06 10:00:16 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

After going through all my emails today, I have won 22
laptops, 14 Ipods, and 19 cell phones. 200 of my former classmates are trying to contact me!! Also, I have won 6 overseas lotteries, so I am now a multimilionaire. I ordered 12 beers and they sent 12 cases for the price of a 12 pack. I won an item on Ebay worth $2000.00 and only had to pay $2.00.

Anyone else been as lucky?

2006-07-06 09:59:42 · 11 answers · asked by echiasso 3