anybody know any good Caucasian jokes? I'm white, but i still don't mind.?

Question

ive never heard any and i was just wondering what some of the jokes the blacks and mexicans say about us. i know plenty of jokes about them.

i know they call us crackers, but that doesnt even make any sence. its stupid.

REDOPAL, ARE YOU JUST UPSET CAUSE YOUR BLACK?

Answer 1

Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you, Tonto?"

Tonto replies, "You dumber than buffalo dung. Someone stole the tent."



And just so you know about Crackers:

White cracker, a slang term for a white person, usually considered pejorative, although people in tourist or retirement areas of the US, particularly Florida, south Georgia and southeastern South Carolina, may refer to themselves as genuine crackers to indicate that their families are native, in contrast to the newcomers who may be in the majority.

Answer 2

Nope.... I don't know any but redneck jokes.....

You might be a redneck if you mowed your yard and found a car...

You might be a redneck if you use a barstool as a walker....

and blonde jokes... what do you call four blondes walking down the road side by side? A windtunnel...

A blonde was getting her hair cut and she had on a pair of head phone... The hair dresser wanted to take them off to cut the blonde's hair correctly, but the blonde replied," You can't or I will die!!"... so the hair dresser had as much as she could handle and threw the head phones off the blonde's head... one minute later the blonde was dead... The hair dresser picked up the head phones and listened... the recording said," Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..."

What do you call a brunette walking in between two blondes? An interpreter....

Answer 3

To be quite honest,I don't think I've ever heard one.Maybe it's because "blacks" are more docile,peaceful,intelligent people and just never saw the necessity in sitting around making "white" jokes.Now,why don't you display some more of your ignorance and share some of the "black" jokes that your hateful,deceitful,jealous,and greedy ancestors passed on to you?

Answer 4

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."

The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan, because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

Just then he walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

Ha ha

Here's another one....

A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.

"That's a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?" Three students raise their hands. "That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further.....Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?" One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.

The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost." The student replies, "Ghost? Damn..... From back there I thought you said 'goats'!"

Answer 5

lol. im black. me and my freinds have all sorts of jokes. im not racist or anything, we are all different clours we just think its funny. and i think that cracker thing is when the cracker is whit or lightly toasted. lol jk. but let me think umm... to tell you the truth i can't remember any right now. i'll ans my friend danny. catch ya l8r. ok im bak i got one. "what if slavery was different? what if white folk were the slaves? i can see it now. instead of kunta kenta being the slave the boys name will be bobby.

master- 'from now on your name is tyrone! whats yo name boy?'

Bobby-'Bobby!'
*whip*
master- "what u say"
*whip*
Bobby- "i said you can call me TYrone"

its from the Erekah baduh song.

Answer 6

What do you call a bunch of white people falling down a hill?
an avalanche!

Answer 7

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."

Answer 8

cracker is short for whip cracker... you know, back in the slave days. it means you're a bad master because you beat your slaves.

now, here's your joke:
Q: what's white and 12 inches long.












A: nothing.

Answer 9

Yo mommas so white she went outsida and got stuck in the snow?

Answer 10

Apparently you have never heard of Jeff Foxworthy. Redneck jokes are all about making fun of us white folk.