Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

2006-07-01 08:29:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-01 08:13:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-01 07:52:01 · 17 answers · asked by dr.grozoro 1

theres a farmer with a boat.he has a chiken,a fox, and a bag of seeds.the farmer needs to take his anamals and the bag to the other side of the river. the farmer could only take one item at a time but the fox will eat the chiken and the chiken will eat the seeds.how do you do it.

2006-07-01 07:41:51 · 13 answers · asked by forest l 1

a donkey has a 10 ft. rope tied to his neck and he is in a carrot patch 20 ft. from the tree. how is this possible?

2006-07-01 07:32:59 · 12 answers · asked by scratchwhiplash 5

a young man--sir,pls tell me the time !
an old man--no,no,no!i wont tell u the time!
young man--why not?
an old man--see,
if i tell u the time,u will ask my name!
no problem,
but if u ask my name,u will ask where i live,
no problem,
but if u ask where i live,u will come to my home,
no problem,
but if u will come to my home,u will see my daughter,
no problem,
but if u see my daughter,u will love her,
no problem,
but if u love her,u will marry her,
and i dont want to marry my daughter to a man,who cant afford to buy a
watch!

2006-07-01 07:31:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

2006-07-01 07:29:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok, your are in a really big basketball game, the bigest, the game ends in 10 sec, and you have the ball your two pionts away from winning, you have the shot it's so going to go in, you know it, when your coach subs in a player that hasen't played the whole game, and your felt bad cuz your coach hasen't put her in yet, and she is very much out of shape, and sad she feels out of place, and she is not very good at all, she looks like she is about to cry, and she just stands there as everyone on her team passes her by, and doesn't even see her, but she is standing closer then you and has a good shot but you don't know if she will make it or not, what do you do? pass it and make her the happiest girl in the world, or keep the ball, shoot and win the game? just so you guys know I would pass the ball, and winning is almost everything to me, but being a team player is even more. so I'm dieing to know what u guys think????

2006-07-01 07:28:27 · 18 answers · asked by bmx_baby_91 1

A man lives in a tall block of flats. He usually takes the elevator up to the 5th floor. But he lives on the 9th.
Why does he go only up to the 5th?

2006-07-01 07:22:17 · 11 answers · asked by eDiNa 2

is there any more brain stuff in cambridge university?
i mean riddles,games,iq questions, or simple questions which will test our brain functions.......could anyone send me the website?

2006-07-01 07:19:17 · 3 answers · asked by coin 1

Idaho. Alaska.

2006-07-01 07:12:26 · 12 answers · asked by scratchwhiplash 5

A goldfish mucks around the fountain..............................................

2006-07-01 07:09:48 · 12 answers · asked by bill M 1

Mine is:

Practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect so why practice?

2006-07-01 07:01:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

okat here is the riddle actually i have 2 riddles tell me which 1 u are answering bys saying 1) or 2) be4 ur answer...

okay

1) there is a man lying dead on the floor with a rock next to him.... he didnt kill himslef with the rock, nobod else killed him with the rock.... it doesnt matter what floor or what room he is lying dead in... ill give u a hint in a bit if u cant figure it out....




2) there is a man and he wakes up from a nap and its dark out.. he sees people dead and kills himslef becasue he let the light out? why did he kill himslef ( not bcuz he le the lite out) think about what the light is.....

2006-07-01 06:44:50 · 15 answers · asked by The Lovely Ladies of Soccer 3

HINT........> some of u have while typing it but some have not i have it yet

2006-07-01 06:29:49 · 16 answers · asked by fizzakhan 2

Anyone have any good ones?

2006-07-01 06:23:30 · 11 answers · asked by silki_one 2

There are 5 people in a mansion on a Sunday Morning. There's the mother, father, son, maid, and the butler. The father was killed by one of the people in the house (he didn't kill himself). The mother said : "I was by the pool this morning". The butler said: "I was cleaning up the mess". The son said: "I was playing video games in my room this morning". And the maid said: " I went to go get the mail this morning". Who killed the father??? This is a little tricky, but if you pay attention you might be able to solve this mystery!!!

2006-07-01 06:02:19 · 28 answers · asked by Bubbles 2

if it is what is the answer?

2006-07-01 05:59:23 · 21 answers · asked by youngie 2

Bill Clinton, George Bush and George Washington were on the Titanic.
As the boat was sinking, George Washington heroically shouts, ''Save the women!''

George Bush hysterically screeches, ''Screw the women!''

And Bill Clinton's eyes light up and he says, ''Do we have time?''

2006-07-01 05:59:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

who answer the most stubed answer i well give him more points

2006-07-01 05:56:57 · 8 answers · asked by Noha 1

First correct answer gets 10 points.

Ha-ha; you won't find this on wikipedia!

2006-07-01 05:48:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American's standard of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed "YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk
for approval. Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers".

At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the
President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs about how they came to select the new name given to the President. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh*t it can no longer fly.

2006-07-01 05:45:23 · 7 answers · asked by ♥-=-TLCNJ19-=-♥ 5

what has every color possible on it, filled with salty water and has every disease and moves very slowly and is quite dirty

2006-07-01 05:43:56 · 17 answers · asked by internet_mack 2

Any jokes that you have. 10 points for best answer.

2006-07-01 05:41:29 · 19 answers · asked by KITZYA R 3

2006-07-01 05:28:05 · 10 answers · asked by bmx_baby_91 1

2006-07-01 05:27:07 · 3 answers · asked by brandon j 1

It's right after the flood and Noa is about to let all the animals off the arc. Before he does, his wife comes over and says "This arc contains all the animals in the world! When we got off the arc, we'll have to make sure not to hunt them until they have some more children."
"Mmmm," Noa says "Your right. But it won't be fun going without meat until these animals reproduce. I'll have to tell them to have children faster."
So Noa opens the arc and says to all the animals "God has saved you from this great flood! All he asks you to do now is multiply and fill the corners of the earth! And be quick about! My family is getting hungry!"
All the animals rush off into the woods to start mulitiplying. But then Noa looks off the distance and finds a boy snake and a girl snake crying. "Why are you crying?" Noa asks the snakes "You should be out in the woods multiplying!"
"We're real sorry Moses," says the girl snake "but we can't multiply....











.............we're adders"

2006-07-01 05:18:24 · 41 answers · asked by bowlingcap 2

two canadian bank robbers were on the run but they had a clean getaway. so one of the robbers said hey lets hideout in Alaska for awhile. as soon as the got to Alaska the were rested. why?

2006-07-01 05:14:25 · 11 answers · asked by internet_mack 2

and win.... have a good day :-)

2006-07-01 05:11:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

p.s. There are no cats in my area now.

2006-07-01 05:02:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous