Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-02 17:39:31 · 2 answers · asked by I'M'ZIZOU 2

frist correct answer gets 10 points

2006-07-02 17:36:56 · 8 answers · asked by joegossum 4

Do u think it is right to lock ur BABy in a room if u find out his EVIL plans ??? especially when he is SIX months old ??

2006-07-02 17:34:42 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

i had met a wonderfull woman who seemed to like me 4 me not my monney.
granted she had ben maried 3 times before, but the poor girl had also ben widowed 3 times.
one day i asked what became of her three husbands
she replied ,well tom and paull both died from food poisoning and mike drowned in the bath tub because he wouldn't eat the mushrooms

2006-07-02 17:33:21 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Why does the middle ant say that 2 ants are behind her ?

2006-07-02 17:30:48 · 22 answers · asked by I'M'ZIZOU 2

She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-02 17:29:24 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 9 more children. Again, her husband died.
But, she remarried and this time had 7 more children.

Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman.

Then he said, "Lord, they're finally together."

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."*

2006-07-02 17:18:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have,she said I just pushed her too far !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-02 17:17:05 · 3 answers · asked by MrBudbag 3

the first word in the answer is 'all' and the last is'milk'

2006-07-02 17:01:01 · 5 answers · asked by ikeepgoing 1

2006-07-02 16:52:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"


The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"

2006-07-02 16:47:19 · 13 answers · asked by Chino 3

They both make black people run faster

2006-07-02 16:47:07 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

When she farts, her knees bag.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-02 16:43:15 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border

2006-07-02 16:28:55 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

ok we are having a prank war and um i don't know what to do. help!!

2006-07-02 16:16:52 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-02 16:08:24 · 12 answers · asked by daydreamer 2

So do we. Here at Three Fingers Fireworks, we have designed the
ultimate roman candle. We call it the M-2000x.
We have combined gunpowder with fertilizer, C5, hydrogen gas, and just a pinch of plutonium, for the 4th of July experience you will never forget!

(light fuse and evacuate 3 block radius. Always wear your body armour. Welding mask not included)

2006-07-02 16:03:22 · 13 answers · asked by opjames 4

10 point's to the 1 i will have it voted on so i am not gonna pick the 1!!! good luck to all

2006-07-02 15:53:21 · 9 answers · asked by unmisunderstood 2

So this snail gets run over by a turtle. The cops are at the scene and they ask the snail what happened, to which the snail exclaims, "I don't know, everything went by so fast!"

2006-07-02 15:52:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

The google people have a good sense of humour

2006-07-02 15:34:48 · 10 answers · asked by BOUTTREE 1

2006-07-02 15:31:49 · 15 answers · asked by X P 3

2006-07-02 15:29:12 · 2 answers · asked by kiva 2

I need a laugh. And please, nothing too rude, I am only 14

2006-07-02 15:25:51 · 16 answers · asked by ezzaphill 3

2006-07-02 15:16:34 · 5 answers · asked by Jen 5

2006-07-02 15:09:33 · 5 answers · asked by alexa1022 1

the 1 that makes me laugh the most gets 10 POINTS!!!!!!!! :)

2006-07-02 15:06:19 · 8 answers · asked by shorty 2

this is a puzzle and blanks have to have 6 letters and match

2006-07-02 15:05:21 · 2 answers · asked by pairfrogs 1

2006-07-02 14:52:03 · 8 answers · asked by g_o_o_d32 2

Willys cynical thought for the day;

If you've ended up in hell with someone, and you're still mad at them, where do you tell them to go?

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state: that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1.If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"!!!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-02 14:35:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-02 14:30:48 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous