10 point's to the 1 i will have it voted on so i am not gonna pick the 1!!! good luck to all
2006-07-02 15:53:21 · 9 answers · asked by unmisunderstood 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
God and the Harley Davidson Inventor
Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."
God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"
God said, "Yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"
"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.
"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."
2006-07-02 18:36:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy walks into a bar piss drunk and slams a wad of hundred dollar bills on the bar saying in a slurred voice...
" I'll give this money to the girl who can prove right now that they have the BIGGEST P***Y!"
3 girls sitting together on barstools in front of him turn around and all take the bet.
He says to the first "Show me what ya got honey!"
She thinks for a second then hikes up her mini-skirt and pushes her beer bottle all the way in.
"That's pretty good!" the man says then turns to the second "Can you beat her?"
She thinks for a minute then whispers into the bartenders ear and he proceeds to bring her a wine bottle. After some shifting she slides it all the way up.
"Damn!! That's the biggest c**t I've ever seen!" He screams
He turns to the third and says to her "there's no way in the world you can beat HER! What do ya got!"
The woman looks at him with a smirk and slides down the barstool.
2006-07-02 23:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by IIBIGREDII 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
2006-07-04 05:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so there is this clean guy telling a joke about a vulgar racist...
no, wait there is this vulgar guy telling this joke about a clean...
oh nevermind!
2006-07-02 23:00:50 · answer #4 · answered by scratchwhiplash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be a redneck if you got a home thats mobile and 4 cars that ain't.
What do you get when 10 blonds stand in a circle?
A dope ring.
2006-07-02 22:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by cyberiiansgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for
divorce
Attorney: "May I help you
Hillbilly: "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces".
Attorney: "Well do you have any grounds?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got about a hundred acres."
Attorney: "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
Hillbilly: "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
Attorney: "I mean, do you have a grudge?"
Hillbilly: "Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere."
Attorney: "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
Hillbilly: "Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays."
Attorney: "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
Hillbilly: "No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning."
Attorney: "Well, is she a ****** or anything?!?!?!?"
Hillbilly: "No she's a little white gal, but our last child was."
Hillbilly: "That's why I want this dayvorce."
2006-07-02 23:27:26 · answer #6 · answered by thearthound 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AM NOT RACIST!!!! but this is a funny one....
there was this little black boy that was playing in flour, and it made him all white.
he runs to his mom and said"mom, mom, look, i'm white!"
his mom smacks him
so, he runs to his grandma, and sais" grandma, grandma, look, im white!"
his grandma smacks him.
not the reaction he thought hed get, so he thinks, dad will think its funny....and he runs to his dad and sais"dad,dad,look, im white!"
the dad beat him, and said"have you learned anything from this?"
the little boy said "yeah, ive only been white 15 minutes and i already hate you *******"
ok, i agree, a lil inapropriate, but, it is funny.
honestly, if anyone is ofended, let me know, i will delete it
2006-07-02 23:15:29 · answer #7 · answered by Rose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: What do you call a hoe with a runny nose?
A: Full
2006-07-02 23:09:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What invisible and smells like carrots???? Bunny Farts!!!
2006-07-02 22:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by just2wild4ya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋