What Is Hell?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day;

If you've ended up in hell with someone, and you're still mad at them, where do you tell them to go?

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state: that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1.If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"!!!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; WILLYS JOKES 3/24/06 What Is Hell If ya wanna get my jokes send an email to [e-mail] with 'Subscribe' in the subject line!

Answer 1

If you assume that souls have mass and are therefore capable of containing thermal energy, your reasoning is correct. On the other hand, however, the majority of the souls on Earth are not Catholic and hence do not have mass. So you are wrong.

It is known that hell contains a lake of molten brimstone (sulfur). It is also known that heaven contains a sea of glass mixed with fire (Revelation 15:2).

Molten glass is hotter than burning sulfur. Much hotter.

Conclusion...? If you can't stand the heat..........!

Answer 2

In the original version on the internet that I read, our poor student had not slept with Teresa, and thereby proved hell was, in fact, exothermic.

http://www.psc.edu/~deerfiel/Jokes/pchem.html

I don't know about Hell itself, but I've been to Hell's staff break room. No one was there, and I left quickly before all Hell went on break.

When I was an undergrad at UCSC (go mighty banana slugs), I took native american philophophies and religions from Professor Ed Castillo. He panicked freshmen with the following final questions...

Define the nature of the Universe and give three examples:

Answer 3

HELL-

Heck, H-E-Double Hockey sticks, Hades, the Underworld, HE'LL without the apostrophe.

By the way, that was VERY funny, I love it! Expect an email from [e-mail] soon. :-)

Answer 4

Hell is myth. In order to experience "Hell" if there were such a place after death, then you would need a fully functioning and living brain.

Answer 5

Sweet.

Answer 6

i agree wit paige but i would say a place whrer the weed heads go when they cand afford a lighter to light they blunts...??dunno

Answer 7

Nice.

Answer 8

i love this! this is the only thing that has made me smile in three weeks.

Answer 9

THAT was great
Yes it was very long, but I loved it!
My son goes to a christian school, so he LOVED it too.

Answer 10

in the Bible god said's if you do not get saved you will go there?