Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-06 19:42:27 · 13 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

if you want the 10 pts give me your best joke

2006-07-06 19:38:07 · 22 answers · asked by *boy crazy* 1

Last time, we had this riddle:

Why couldn't anyone understand jokes about airplanes?
A: Because they are way over our heads.

Hahah. Today's riddle might be a bit easy, but I like it... so here it is:)

Why is it a bad idea to trust your secret to a pig?

Oink oink... good luck!

2006-07-06 19:29:45 · 9 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Tell me how was your day, what did you eat for dinner, tell me a word, a letter. Im not really looking for an answer. Just feeling good and want to give you 2 points.

2006-07-06 19:28:56 · 43 answers · asked by tyrafordiskool 2

What do you put on a table, cut it, pass it... but don't eat it?

2006-07-06 19:11:26 · 13 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

in our world yesterday is before today, but when is today before yesterday?

2006-07-06 19:02:15 · 21 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

2006-07-06 18:58:34 · 8 answers · asked by vivs 1

2006-07-06 18:56:31 · 12 answers · asked by Zinnina 3

2006-07-06 18:55:52 · 14 answers · asked by ♥michele♥ 7

A hispanic and a irish man walk out of a bar.

2006-07-06 18:54:34 · 10 answers · asked by † 2

2006-07-06 18:48:52 · 18 answers · asked by Zinnina 3

why is a lap dance so much beter when the stripper is crying?

2006-07-06 18:42:15 · 8 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

2006-07-06 18:35:43 · 17 answers · asked by Zinnina 3

2006-07-06 18:12:45 · 7 answers · asked by LiN 6

Now Since i have become the Devil my parents think that i am possessed.......
how can i make them believe that I am the real DEVIL ???
They r Planning to Cut my DEVIL TAIL and my HORNS!!!!!

Plzzzzzzzzzz help!!!

2006-07-06 18:07:47 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

They are having a live chat on their website and I can't think of anything to ask. I don't want to ask the same old when is your next tour, when is the new album coming out or anything else they've answered a million times. I have thought of a serious one that is related to their music, but i'd also like to ask something random and funny. Any suggestions?

2006-07-06 18:03:32 · 8 answers · asked by ERICA B 1

what is black and white black and white and sits in the corner and cry's?


a preg nun!

what is black and white black and white and sits in the corner and laughs?

the preist who did it!

2006-07-06 17:54:45 · 12 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

Including ALL types of foods, styles, preperations, sauces, or side dishes. It's not important just curious.

2006-07-06 17:42:20 · 17 answers · asked by yeahdude13 1

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I
don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private
place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is:
put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have
escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison
him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes
but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love,
gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a
recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life
sentence,
OKAY!

2006-07-06 17:34:16 · 19 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

You are driving down a road during a hurricane.
You see three people at a bus stop and you know there is no bus coming for then.
There is an old woman,
Your best friend (who has saved your life),
and there is the Girl of your dreams.
There is only room in the car for one more person,
Who do you let get into the car?

2006-07-06 17:31:45 · 27 answers · asked by The King of Spades 1

Even when you tell jokes, people get offended. And I'm not talking about racist or stereotypical jokes. Please give a joke that is actually funny but would not offend any group of people in the world.

2006-07-06 17:20:11 · 5 answers · asked by Wise ol' owl 6

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

2006-07-06 17:15:20 · 12 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

every morning a man wakes up in his 18 floor apartment, gets dressed, takes the elevator to the first floor, and goes downtown to work.Every evening he gets to the apartment building and goes to the 9 floor in the elevator.He climbs the stairs the rest of the way.Why?

Hint: If there is another person in the elevator he goes all the way up to the 18 floor.

2006-07-06 17:12:22 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

♥

2006-07-06 17:10:41 · 10 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

why does a black person have 2 pollbearers at their funeral? -----------------------------this is a joke dont get mad you nazis out there--------------------

2006-07-06 17:01:49 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

your moma is so skinny she can hula hoop through a cheerio

2006-07-06 16:57:32 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

no matter what they'll always screw ya...

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

2006-07-06 16:57:09 · 7 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

if I send him to Obedience School and his name is "Stay"?

2006-07-06 16:56:51 · 9 answers · asked by Comfortably Numb™ 7

The kind of joke that is so funny you cant help but to burst out laughing hysterically, no matter where you were.

2006-07-06 16:54:00 · 10 answers · asked by ..::SaM::.. 2

Do you have your own time and where do you take it?

2006-07-06 16:52:30 · 7 answers · asked by ♥-=-TLCNJ19-=-♥ 5