Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

Roses R Red Violets R Blue
Monkeys Like you Shud Be kept In the Zoo
Dont feel Angry U Will Find Me There Too
Not In a cage But Laughing At you
.............................................................
Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo, They all miss u.

2006-07-07 02:49:13 · 5 answers · asked by niki 1

Name something that meets the following criteria:

It is greater than God.
More evil than the Devil.

The poor have it.
The rich need it.

And if you eat it you will die.

2006-07-07 02:40:11 · 15 answers · asked by atkinajean 2

on MY laptop AGAIN!!!!!! I've yoinked Mr.Pandas computer, I need help, I'm going loopy (yes even more than usual!) What can I do to stop the madness????????????????????????????

2006-07-07 02:12:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

1st name : I told you to sit down in 1990
2nd name : Front half of a famous bike

2006-07-07 02:09:23 · 19 answers · asked by sandybeacon 2

You can't see it but you know it's their but when you see it you decide to ignor it. You think it's not real and it doen't make a whole lot of sense!

2006-07-07 02:05:49 · 25 answers · asked by ilovesuburbanlegends 2

would you live in a plate or a cup?

2006-07-07 02:00:21 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

After the final fire,
The wind will blow,
And these, which are already dead,
Will cover the ones who have yet to die.

2006-07-07 01:53:36 · 19 answers · asked by The Chronicler 4

2006-07-07 01:27:51 · 23 answers · asked by Tiff 2

273 MAZ =
100 TE =
9 KE =

e g 7 w of the w = 7 wonders of the world

many thanks to all who have posted previous answers

2006-07-07 01:12:22 · 14 answers · asked by petebirky 1

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know . The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think

Harry can go to the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Harry: "Legs"

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets"

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, Delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut"

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum"

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?" (The principals eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands"

Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yup"

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do."
Harry: "Tent"

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." (Principal was looking restless and bit tense)
Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."
Harry: "Nose"

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Harry: "Arrow"

Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
Harry: "Fire truck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put his *** in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."

2006-07-07 01:11:54 · 7 answers · asked by tia_alld 4

If two hours ago it was as long after one o'clock in the afternoon as it was before one o'clock in the morning. What time would it be now?

2006-07-07 01:09:35 · 13 answers · asked by Harry 2

2006-07-07 01:01:53 · 40 answers · asked by wayforwardhow 3

On what ocassion could this expression be best used ?

2006-07-07 00:45:36 · 25 answers · asked by YAMAHA 4

I MUST GO DOWN TO THE SEE TODAY
TO THE LONELY SEA AND THE SKY
I LEFT MY SHOES AND SOCKS THERE
I WONDER IF THEY'RE DRY.

2006-07-07 00:44:13 · 13 answers · asked by colcamp260 2

Mine hapenned 5 hours ago. We were riding on a van and the driver stopped for awhile to get something.We were listening to some hiphop music.All of a sudden, we thought about hydraulics and tried to move the van.The look from outside doesnt look like hydraulocs working but as if someone was having sex inside the van.Then people looked at the van as they passed then many people gathered around the van, curious what's going on inside.And my friend added the Titanic movie scene (sweaty hand on the window).Good thing the car was tinted.

Is it good enough?

2006-07-07 00:38:55 · 22 answers · asked by MissUkraine2005Lover 3

1.Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."

His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."

Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.

"No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

2006-07-07 00:36:08 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Heard it on Mind of Mencia

2006-07-07 00:26:03 · 8 answers · asked by Jose S 1

2006-07-07 00:18:49 · 22 answers · asked by claude 5

2006-07-07 00:10:28 · 7 answers · asked by Matthew S 2

Girl in a night-club,dancing with a stranger: She:'Do you come here often?He:No,it makes the floor too slippy.

2006-07-07 00:05:50 · 27 answers · asked by michael k 6

There is this 50,000 lbs tanker truck that comes up to a five mile long bridge. The bridge has a wight limit of 50,000 lbs. The truck proceeds across the bridge, and when he is halfway across a 1oz bird lands on the rail of the bridge. Does the bridge collapse?? Why or why not?? First correct answer gets the points.

2006-07-07 00:02:54 · 19 answers · asked by mizbehavingirl 4

what do you call 100 white guys chasing a black guy?



A; the PGA tour!

2006-07-07 00:00:20 · 13 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

2006-07-06 23:58:25 · 10 answers · asked by Tanya S 3

5. White People with sticks.
4. The only thing on the ice that is black is the puck, and you see what happens to it.
3. It's cold.
2. White people with sticks.
1. Don't feel like it is time to dominate yet another sport.
(Thanks to Nat-x, uhh, Chris Rock.)

2006-07-06 23:46:15 · 6 answers · asked by pitbullcopper2004 5

Now since i've become Da DEVIL so i don't like Vegeterian food......what should i eat ????


Can i become Normal but EVIL BABy again ????

2006-07-06 23:31:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

the last time i checked we were all in jokes and riddles! so if you get offended by something, it was a fu*king joke. if you dont like it get the fu*k out of jokes and riddles instead of reporting people and crying about it! guess what? im Mexican and i bust on mexicans all the damn time! ( its called a joke!) if you cant deal with it then do the world a favor and fill your mouth full of shotgun with your toe on the trigger! does this make since or am i taking crazy pills?!

2006-07-06 23:30:20 · 15 answers · asked by perfect_demise 2

Am I the only one, or have you guys ran into his racist jokes. This guy is really F-ed up in the head.

2006-07-06 23:18:10 · 13 answers · asked by III 2

They eat anything from old paint, to soap,
old pills, cardboard, and all the food they
can. But leave a Splenda box open, and they
won't touch it ? BTW, I consume real sugar...

2006-07-06 23:15:17 · 15 answers · asked by nightflyerkin 2

kettle? Does the water have to whistle and give the ok before the tea can actually be included in the kettle?

2006-07-06 22:54:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Please I want to collect 1000 answer to this question!!!
PLEASE

2006-07-06 22:52:50 · 46 answers · asked by POWER-FULL 2