can anyone give me some good jokes for my cell phone?

Answer 1

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ’the
prison’ and call my private thing ’the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Answer 2

Hope u'll choose me as the best answer

check this out:

Ramesh: What do u call a man with the largest belly in the world?

Amitha: My kids call him dad.

check out this riddle:

1. There is a glass. Water is being put into it. Every second, the contents of the glass double. The glass will be completely filled up to the brim (100%) in 60 seconds. How many seconds will it take for the glass to reach the halfway point?
Ans: 59 secs

2. An apple falls from a tree, 5 pick her up and 32 eat her, what is it?
Ans: with 5 fingers u pick up and eat it with 32 tooth.

3. Rich man need _____
Poor man have _____
If u eat _____
u'll die!

Use the same word in all 3 blanks. Ans: nothing

Answer 3

A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!"
The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down.

As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you ok, dear?"

The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me."

The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey."

Answer 4

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."

Answer 5

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Answer 6

1. I luv u, i luv u, i luv u, i luv u....



hey chill!!!I like the other alphabets too!

2. Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?

3.U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....****...I got wrong number...SORRY :)

4.How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her


How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.

Answer 7

Your momas sooo stupid she sat on the t.v. and watched the couch.

Answer 8

fry freejokes.com and serve it to your friends.