Marriage & Divorce - 6 November 2007

and I'm afraid!

We're in our mid 20s, have been married for 3 and a half years, have no children yet and he said he wants to help out more around the house.

I currently do not work so I can be available to help care for my grandfather, and I'm also taking 2 distance learning classes through the local community college working toward an eventual bachelor's degree. I have absolutely no problem doing all the housework myself (hello, I'm home all day while he's at work!). I actually enjoy cooking and housework, and I'm good at it!

It's not that I'm opposed to him helping. I was just raised very conservatively and old fashioned and my definition of the housewife's "duties" are to take care of the home, do laundry, cook, etc., and it would be switched if the husband stayed home.

So why does it worry me so much that he wants to learn how to cook? Could it be because this is "my" turf and I subconsciously feel he's intruding? He lets me help him fix things all the time.

2007-11-06 07:08:23 · 44 answers · asked by wh1t3_t1g3r 1

My husband has looked at pics of nude women on the net and I have let him know that I'm not ok with it. He doesn't look at hard core porn, but still it's offensive to me because it is so degrading to women. He says I'm a hypocrite because I cheated on him, but we've moved on from that and worked everything out. I would never dream of doing that to him again. It was a bad moment in my life and I made a terrible mistake. He forgave me. But he now acts like he's entitled to a little "action" of his own. He knows it hurts my feelings and he tries to justify it by saying it's art. Plus, I feel like I'm not good enough for him to look at, like not sexy enough. What do you think? Am I totally overreacting? Only serious answers please. No negative or insulting answers either. This is my marriage I'm talking about here. Thank you in advance for your help.

2007-11-06 07:01:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

If you inherite money while your married does your spouse get half if you divorce? If yes how can you prevent this from happening? The person leaving the money hasn't died yet.

2007-11-06 06:51:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

I found out that my wife cheated on me. She told me because she felt like she didnt have a friend in me. Well, there has to be more than that. But it is all so new still so I am sure more will be coming out.
She said she only slept with him once. But once or 100 times, it's all the same. She said she was sorry, and I do forgive her. I think I want to work it out but I am not sure how. How/can I trust her again? I want to so much. Im just really confused and hurt. I just dont know what to do or where to start.

2007-11-06 06:49:05 · 80 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am 48 my boyfriend is 45. we have been going out for 3 years now .Not only do we celebrate our anniversary each year he insists on celebrating the 6th of each month because the 6th of september we had our first date . I think this is childish. or do you think im just tired of the whole thing

2007-11-06 06:44:27 · 19 answers · asked by jennie s 2

I left 6 months ago because he is an acoholic. I would have to go stay the night elsewhere on many occasions when he was drunk and mean, but not physically. His lawyer keeps saying I don't have grounds for divorce and they are contesting it. There is substanial money involved. My attorney says the grounds are real. There is no chance to reconcile. I am not seeing anyone so it is not for spite..I am just not understanding unless it is about the money, which he will have to pay me anyway. Why would buying time make a difference if that is what they are doing? It is not against his religion and he is not trying to get me back. What do you think? I am a little confused here.

2007-11-06 06:27:37 · 40 answers · asked by Ann Marie 2

What exactly are the boundaries? How long is too long to talk on the phone with someone of the opposite sex if you are in a committed relationship? Is three hours everyday too much? what about five? Where is the line drawn?

2007-11-06 06:21:22 · 23 answers · asked by genniangel0 3

Quite often I see answers such as "leave him", "get a divorce" or something similar.

2007-11-06 06:15:13 · 12 answers · asked by HM 3

First of all I dont wanna come off as being a mean or jealous person but. My high school boyfriend who is now my husband cheated on me in high school and got some tramp pregnant. Well he is very much in the childs life but says he wants nothing to do with her. Me being young and naive believed this and married him. We now have a child. I recently talked to his "babymama" and she said that they had sex last december. The same month I had our son. Well he says he hates the "*****" and doesnt want to be with her but anytime we argue or i put him out he goes to her. I know hes wrong and I should leave him but I cant stand the thought of him being with her. HELP PLEASE!!!

2007-11-06 06:06:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Split up after living together for 2 years anbd being with each other for 4 years. Been split now for 4 months but there isn't a day goes by where i get up with a sad heart and a mega depressed feeling..........how long does this bleeding hurt last for? I left my wife years back and knew it was the right thing but i can't remember this hurt as i knew the marriage was over for a while. My ex now is still a real good friend and we both agreed that we were finding it difficult to live together but although i think it was right - why am i still dead inside?? Maybe because i still see her regularly.
Thanks for any answers to a newbie!!

2007-11-06 06:05:14 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-11-06 06:01:33 · 10 answers · asked by Cam N 1

i have asked my husband to move out, we dont have an abusive relationship or anything, but we just don't fit anymore. I have been unhappy for quite some time and have talked to him about the way I feel. He won't move out, I dont want to uproot my child, but also do not want to get the law involved. I have not filed for divorce yet, I would just like time to be myself without him around. How can I get him to understand?

2007-11-06 05:18:33 · 19 answers · asked by desperate for answers 1

2007-11-06 05:17:53 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Your wife always focuses on your business or work and money. She has very little time or energy to be a there for you. You have absolutely no guy friends and are completely devoted to the business and helping your wife. You have a 6yo son. This is your second marriage and have 3 children with your ex wife that you never really visited for 15 years. married now 11 years but honestly dont feel anything for your wife. You are trying not to make the same mistakes and want to be a full time father to your son who is so young right now. Would you sacrifice your happiness and stay with your wife for your son's sake???

2007-11-06 05:02:42 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I’m looking for the best answer possible. So I’ll tell you in details about me and him.
Ok, I’m 25 years old. I’m fun-loving, friendly, Warm-hearted, humorous, outgoing and happy go-lucky girl. I like to party, travel, making new friends and enjoy my life. I’m a Sagittarius (if it helps). I broke up with my ex a year ago, but I still love him. I know no one can yet take his place. Now, I think I just want to look for a fling. It’s been a year and I fail to get a fling. Many guys like me and want to be with me, I know but I just can’t be serious. I don’t want to hurt them and I just can’t. I need time to heal my wounds.

Ok, this guy is 40 years old divorce. He’s a Virgo (if it helps)

I met him during my vacation on Hawaii 6 months ago. We met at a club. He was watching me from afar and finally made a move and talked to me. We got this instant connection and I liked him. He seemed to really like me. The next day, we had a date, a romantic date with beautiful beaches and nice dinner. We had great conversation together. He is a nice guy, calm, respectful, stable, charming, mature and caring. He never said anything sweet like he liked me bla bla. He wasn’t good at expressing his feelings. But he was just so caring for me. We had sex and it was great.
I told him that I wasn’t ready for any serious relationship. He said he was too. He wanted to focus on his career and he travels a lot, so he wasn’t ready too.

Next morning, we left. He lives in state A, I live in B, its like 4 hours drive. We exchanged number. After the vacation, we did meet each other like once a month. On the second date, after the first date on the vacation, basically, we were just like lovers, we acted like lovers, and we held hands, kissed in public and stuff. We went partying and we had drinks. We talked about anything but not our personal lives. He never asked me if I had a boyfriend etc. we just talked about life, people, society etc. many times, I felt like he was intimidated going out with me. Some stupid men liked to stare at me and kind of like flirted with me. But I just ignored them. I didn’t give a damn! However, I felt like he wasn’t very comfortable with that. He looked a little uptight and liked to play it cool. He attracts me, I like guy who is calm and not jealous like him. The date was great.

Third date, after a month, now... he seemed a little bit colder than usual. Even though I could see he cared about me but he totally played it cool. He seemed to withdraw a little bit, like didn’t kiss me that much or caresses me like he did before. I could feel it.
When he went to bathroom, a guy came near me and stood beside me. He saw it and he asked that guy to get off, he looked pissed off.
I asked him if he was alrite and why he was so quiet etc. He just said nothing. As I showed him some pictures from my cell, a text popped up from David, my friend. He saw it and said “Oh David! It’s ok replying him first!” he seemed not happy.
Then my cell’s battery went empty, he said he could take my cell over his mom place to recharge it cuz his mom lived nearby, then we came back. I said never mind. It’s ok. Then he said “it was not okay, it was totally empty”. I insisted it was fine. He looked unhappy. When I said something I asked him... like bla bla bla was it you? Did I tell you that? He then said “no! It was your boyfriend! Maybe some other guy!” all of the sudden I felt like he was getting sensitive.
The next morning I woke up, He had gone back to his mom house, took a shower and back here again and he took my cell and charged it.
He then sent me to meet my friends. He went to work. We kissed goodbye.

Since then, He didn’t text or call me. I called him one time and we still talked great. We chatted online once in a while. I can feel that he seems to avoid me. I’m so upset cuz I think I’m falling for him. He was mean to me like... he’d say... I’m so busy! Talk next time! Bye… bye...! I feel like he isn’t like that. He’s faking to be mean to me.
I don’t know! On his birthday, I texted him and wished him happy birthday. He said “good night little one...” That’s all? Yeah... that’s all he could say.
I figured out, I should just stop contacting him.

2 months gone by, we didn’t contact each other at all. Until, last night, I texted him cuz I got a new job and I just wanted to tell him cuz It was related to the business he does currently.
We texted and he sounded happy to hear from me. Lastly I said
Me: “okay, I’ll call you if I do go to A (his state) but I’m not sure when cuz I’ll be busy”
Him: “sure. I’m happy for you. Good nite”
Me: Nite..
Him: “U miss me?”
Me: “NOT that if you don’t. Gud night!”
Him: Night... dream of me.
Him: Miss…

Gosh! I miss him. What the hell was that? I freakin’ hate him and in love with him. What is he thinking? Does he like me? How does he feel about me?
I’m asking this cuz I just wanna know how he feels and thats it! I don’t expect to have a relationship with him. I know we are not meant to be. Is he playing me?
Please tell me.. I’m not going to pursue him. 15 years is big age gap. I just want to know this guy thinking. He freakin’ intrigues me.

2007-11-06 05:01:14 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

In todays society where divorce is at an all time high what has happened to people's word. Entering into marriage today is like playing a board game where when your tired of playing you can simply quit! (As I have posed in my previous question). If your the man in the marriage and your salary does not meet her "qualifications" she feels she has the right to jump ship. I'm not talking about a lazy man that doesnt work but a real man that works hard but just cant seem to make enough money for his gold digging wife!

2007-11-06 04:51:49 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

My fiance is wonderful. I am very happy. But she has a few flaws that concern me (ok ok... drive me mad on occasion). not only is she aware she has them but she wants to fix them because they bother her too. However, she gets really mad at me when I try to help her. I make sure that I don't sound like I am attacking her. And I always assure her that I love her no matter what. But when I try to help, she gets upset.

For example, she spends too much. She has alot of debt. I've made my career in finance. But when I try to help, she gets all upset. She's selfish at times, so she tells me to just tell her calmly when she gets like that, so I do and she gets mad. She runs late alot so I try to get her up and going when we have place to be and she gets mad and says I am rushing her. If you can't help anyone until they want to help themselves, is she fooling herself by saying she wants to fix these things? Will I ever get passed these issues? Should I give her tough love?

2007-11-06 04:47:33 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

This is what I came to realise recently. I cannot describe the feeling, but it is really awful.

I have a neighbour who lived with his parents and his own family. He is the only son and his sisters have since married and shifted away. His wife also bore him a kid.

For years, all of us thought they were a good family. They were friendly to us. We can get along well. They are good neighbours. The old man also appeared friendly and helpful to us.

One fine day, something unspeakable occurred. The old lady suffered a nervous breakdown and was warded. The son is also filing a divorce from his wife.

It seems the grandson of the old man is actually his son. For more than 5 years, no one suspected a thing. Then the cat was led out of the bag and the cover is blown.

This is awful. I have never encounter such a despicable behaviour before. To think this sort of thing can happen? How can this thing be allowed to happen? And to think we thought they were a good family?

2007-11-06 04:43:12 · 15 answers · asked by JustAsking 1

I married a widower (I'm 36 & he's 43) 2 yrs ago. He has 2 kids (ages 7 & 11) from his previous marriage. I have bonded with the kids and take care of our family (housework, cooking, etc... ) and work F/T. We have a great relationship but I am bothered that my he has all assets in the family trust (separate savings, house, retirement, investments, etc...) and I have not been included. The only thing we have invested together is is a joint checking that both our paychecks go in and out of for bills, plus a joint savings for which I am the only contributor. Whenever he gets extra money he puts it in the trust account. Is this okay? It just makes me feel that he doesn't consider me a true member of the family. I've tried to bring it up (feel awkward when I do) but he says it would not matter I'm not in the trust because we are married. Am I wrong to feel he should be contributing to our joing savings or at least include me in the family trust?

2007-11-06 04:40:27 · 18 answers · asked by April 2

Coming and having an orgasm? My husband says I come an awful lot but I can't tell if I am or not unless I am having an orgasm. I feel silly for asking but I'd like to know the difference.

2007-11-06 04:36:53 · 11 answers · asked by my_own_frog 3

My husband and I are in the middle of trying to decide what we should do about our lives for the next few months. There doesn't seem to be hope for our marriage right now, but we're in the middle of so much.. he lost his job and started a new one with different hours, less pay and a much longer commute, there's a chance we'll have to give our house back to the bank, the holiday season around the corner.. He's asked me to wait until we figure out the house situation before I tell him for sure if we'll be separating. I'm just so confused right now... If we lose our house, we'll still have to move into an apartment together until he can get back on his feet and afford to live on his own... After that, I can move out into my own place closer to my job maybe. Our son will continue school close to him.. I guess my question is, should we wait until sometime next year, tough out our mortgage payments for now and continue to live together? We're upside down with our mortgage &can't sell.

2007-11-06 04:34:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

He wont stop I just asked for a divorce!

2007-11-06 04:30:53 · 65 answers · asked by hark1234 1

me friend is not married but is see two married men at the same time.
In the past when she was married she thouight affairs were terrible and said she could never do it, now she is loving every minute of it and yes there are children involved on both sides.

2007-11-06 04:28:27 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

My ex girlfriend is in a new relationship. She's been with this guy for about 3mos. She has been sneaking around his back to see me, talk to me and even have sex with me. She recently moved to Atlanta with this guy, and to this day, she sneaks behind his back to call me, tell me that she still loves me, and still wants me. I'm trying to move on with my life, but I can't ignore how I feel about her. She knows that I still love her, but I'm unsure about her? What is she telling me? Does she still love me? Does she still want to be with me? If so, why is she doing this? How can she love me still, but remains to be with another man?

2007-11-06 04:12:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've been kind of a blabber mouth about my marriage to my family, which has given them a bad opinion of my husband. I know that it was wrong, and I'm sure at times, I exaggerated. But the base of all the stories was true. Anyway, my dad hasn't spoken to me in 3 months, and my mom and siblings are decent to him. Last night, my husband told me that we shouldn't go to x-mas at my dad's, and he wants me to fix things with the other family members. I'm so lost! My dad has lukemia, I don't want to miss the last x-mas w/him. And I don't know how to go about fixing what I did! HELP!!

2007-11-06 03:44:13 · 10 answers · asked by Hick Chick 2

I am also manglik. Is really manglik have to marry with manglik person?

2007-11-06 03:23:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Details: 6 years, 1 dog, shared car lease, apartment lease, bank accounts, debt, credit cards, future plans, past experiences, baggage, he doesn't want a relationship, but wants a friendship, complains we argued too much, and no more intimacy. I've also found out recently he may have been seeing someone casually right before that ended (though that relationship went nowhere).

Situation now: moving out to a room this weekend, I'm keeping the dog and most of the furniture (he gets the big screen TV), we're splitting our debt,and most bank accounts, he gets the car, will be paying for it, and he's paying his 1/2 of the apt 'til end of Jan, when I will either move out or go to Australia to complete my Masters.

-How do I maintain a friendship with him with all my hurt feelings and baggage?
-I've found out stuff about him (and that relationship) that I wouldn't have otherwise known if I hadn't snooped. Should I fess up?
-How do I get through this and become happy again and not mad at him?

2007-11-06 02:51:29 · 17 answers · asked by S-A 2

My husband and i are self employed right now, and i take classes online, so i usually sleep in until 10am.. :) But when i wake up before then, my husband gets mad, even angry... like i did something wrong..
I do not understand, if i feel like waking up "early" at 9.. (omgosh) why should it matter...
he likes to watch soccer in the mornings and wakes up to do so..
but this is not fair.. any remarks?

2007-11-06 02:27:01 · 34 answers · asked by Becca 2

2007-11-06 02:21:38 · 13 answers · asked by Teresa 5

I have my own home in my name my new husband did not have any assets comning into the marraige. I refinanced my house to buy another family car since he would need a car to help pick up kids (from my previous marraige)Within a few months he was using again. 2 months ago he stopped giving me money to help with expenses. I paid for car,registered under his name, and added him to my insurance policy. The agreement was that he would deposit a certain amt of money weekly into my checking to pay all added expenses. I get child support for my children. Well its not easy to have a ready made family overnight he started to use within months of our marraige, the money was less and less until he stopped depositing all together. He was drinking heavily then left just like that up and gone 3 weeks now. Took the car. I did put the title in his name. He is driving around in a car I paid for. My kids and I are devestated he won't talk to me I have tried everything notes on the car.

2007-11-06 02:15:54 · 14 answers · asked by wackyjackie 1