I left 6 months ago because he is an acoholic. I would have to go stay the night elsewhere on many occasions when he was drunk and mean, but not physically. His lawyer keeps saying I don't have grounds for divorce and they are contesting it. There is substanial money involved. My attorney says the grounds are real. There is no chance to reconcile. I am not seeing anyone so it is not for spite..I am just not understanding unless it is about the money, which he will have to pay me anyway. Why would buying time make a difference if that is what they are doing? It is not against his religion and he is not trying to get me back. What do you think? I am a little confused here.
2007-11-06 06:27:37 · 40 answers · asked by Ann Marie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were together 24 years, married for 12 years so we own some property together. This is what he will have to pay me my 1/2 for. I am 57 and I do have a good job just as he does, so I'm not just trying to rob him. He does make a lot more than I do and will have to pay some spousal support also. He has offered to buy me out and I have counter offered, but he is still contesting the divorce.
2007-11-06 06:56:58 · update #1
Contesting a divorce is different that counter-sueing. It means to me that he is not ready to cut you loose... better married to you than "have" to marry that girl friend he has.
A contested divorce is seldom granted as even if it is awarded the person contesting can now appeal that Judges decision and over-turn the decision... Most Judges won't put their reputations on the line to have a "divorce" decision overturned on them... Just the breaks hon.
When my divorce was contested... simular situation - girlfriend and all - I still believe he contested the divorce just to prove "his control" of even that situation...
Good Luck Hon... And I mean it too.
Hot Dog
2007-11-06 06:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by H.O.T. Dog 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually it is a money issue too. These attorneys want you to fight it out for ever. When the retainer fee runs out then they will take part of what you would have inherited. Your attorney will too. To me the court system is so crooked that by the time your done with the divorce then the money is almost gone. Tell your attorney that you want this over now. I mean since you have been separated for 6 months then there is no more reasons to not grant the divorce except he is stalling trying for you to not get what is rightfully yours. Again, remember the attorney fees will be going through the roof. Get it over with now. Push your attorney harder, if he does not agree soon you may need to find an attorney that is better known to work for the client better. Best of luck! I know this is stressful. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
2007-11-06 06:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like communication has been missing from the marriage. My advice (take it or leave it, is fine with me) is to first talk to him in a calm, understanding way. Find out why he wants the divorce, tell him that you will accept any answer. DON'T argue, just LISTEN. No matter what the answer, it may be good to think it over 24 hours before replying. Then after 24 hours, ask him if there would be anyway he would reconsider. Another thing to do is pray, talk to a minister, and read God's Word aka the Bible. It has a lot to say about marriage, He invented it, you know.
2016-05-28 03:41:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't want to have to give up 1/2 of that "substantial money." A divorce settlement will generally split assets and debts down the middle, plus he would have to pay child support if there are kids involved. Did you file for divorce in a no-fault state? If you did, what he's probably contesting is what the divorce settlement might be. When I divorced, my ex-husband was caught in a bald-faced lie about our assets while he was on the stand, and I was splitting everything down the middle, so the judge took my settlement proposal and the divorce was final in a month. On the other hand, when my husband divorced his first wife, she just wanted him to take his pickup truck and be gone, while she kept the house, other car, furnishings, etc., and they fought over the settlement for over a year.
2007-11-06 06:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by cross-stitch kelly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! It's always money. I know of a contested will (with substancial money too) that has taken years to iron out. During this time 3 of the 12 people have passed away.
Someone always has some sort of objection. Even on the day of a court trial, he might check to see if everyone is there. If someone is out sick, (a character witness for him) it would have to be posponed. Believe me, it could even be if they were trying for a particular judge as to if they will appear that day in court and all will go as planned.
I would say get on with your own life and let the lawyer do what he is paid to do.
2007-11-06 06:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by T_C_FLY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No grounds for divorce? This guy is a complete moron! You can cite as little as irreconcilable differences and be granted the divorce. This is absolutely about the money. Seems like they may be stalling for some reason. Hiding money maybe? Awaiting some sort of law change? Or just making you wait longer for your share out of spite?
2007-11-06 06:32:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a control freak, he knows he stands to loose a large amount of money and he is enjoying jerking your chain. Stick to your guns, let him contest and when it gets before the Judge, he will see what your soon to be ex is being a jerk and if you are lucky, will order him to pay your legal fees. And you do have grounds for a divorce, hes a drunk and an abusive one at that. That is more than enough grounds for a divorce.
2007-11-06 06:33:21 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may be hiding money and trying to get a new place from it or he just doesnt want to be labled divorced. What in the world state do you live in that he can contest a divorce? If someone wants a divorce here they get one, wether the other person wants it or not, thats weird. I would say he is stalling to move stuff around or something - get your lawyer on their a** and tell him to get your husband finacial disclosure so you can look at it a bit closer.
2007-11-06 06:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the money - he's going to have to pay you alimony/spousal support as long as you don't remarry and he's probably not liking that. Also, maybe the idea of the divorce is a sign of failure in his eyes and he just can't face it - the finality of it all. My boyfriend went through it with his ex-wife. He just couldn't get divorced, even though we were together and very happy, it was very hard for him to "get divorced" and have his marriage end. He was the 1st one in his Italian Catholic family to ever get divorced and he felt like a failure. Could this possibly be your husband? Just not wanting to have the title of "ex-husband" on him? I hope it works out for you. I'm divorced also and it's never easy, but it does get easier.
2007-11-06 06:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by rootbeeriiz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a good question. Even though he has a girlfriend, he may still have feelings for you. You also mentioned that there is substantial money involved, so that may have something to do with it. It's also possible that he wants to keep the ball in his court and have all the power, so he refuses to give you what you want out of spite.
2007-11-06 06:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by tangerine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋