My husband wants to learn how to cook.....?

Question

and I'm afraid!

We're in our mid 20s, have been married for 3 and a half years, have no children yet and he said he wants to help out more around the house.

I currently do not work so I can be available to help care for my grandfather, and I'm also taking 2 distance learning classes through the local community college working toward an eventual bachelor's degree. I have absolutely no problem doing all the housework myself (hello, I'm home all day while he's at work!). I actually enjoy cooking and housework, and I'm good at it!

It's not that I'm opposed to him helping. I was just raised very conservatively and old fashioned and my definition of the housewife's "duties" are to take care of the home, do laundry, cook, etc., and it would be switched if the husband stayed home.

So why does it worry me so much that he wants to learn how to cook? Could it be because this is "my" turf and I subconsciously feel he's intruding? He lets me help him fix things all the time.

Ok, we're in our TWENTIES so we're NOT even close to being a granny age. Sheesh.

He doesn't want to take classes because he doesn't have the time -- he wants me to teach him. The last time he tried cooking he put a stick and a half of butter in 1 box of macaroni and cheese and was about to put mayo in it too but I stopped him.

I do think it would be nice to not have to do it all the time, but right now he's working his a** off so I can stay home because my grandpa needs me to be available all the time.

My husband does more than his fair share of contributing to the relationship and I don't want him to feel like he's not contributing.

I am going to teach him this evening because he gets off work early. I was basically just wondering if this was a feeling other wives have encountered.

Caring for my elderly dying grandfather is by no means easy, and it wouldn't be any easier if we weren't as close as we are either.

When you tack on two classes and all the housework, I don't see how you could come to the conclusion that what I do is easy.

LOL gypsy g... that's about how I cook regularly.

Answer 1

I feel the same way as you. But although my hubby is not as good a cook as I am, he can cook, and he LIKES to cook. He gets grumpy if I don't let him cook for ages, so every now and then, particularly if i've had a tiring day, i'll let him cook.

You should be glad that he wants to do this. And it's not a bad idea for him to know how to cook, better off teaching him now. What if one day, you're both working, and HE has to cook for the kids, cause you work later than him? It's just like how women should know how to pay the bills, and get the car checked. What if something happens to the other person one day? You both need to know how to be independent, just in case.

Lol. Did someone SERIOUSLY say it was easy to stay home all day? Gees. And caring for someone, particularly someone who may be incapable of expressing themselves to you, can be SO emotionally draining.

I think she meant 'granny' as in 'old time thinking.'

You should start him off with something simple. If my hubby tries to be fancy, he messes it up... One time, he tried to make cordon bleuax. It was cor! Don blurgh! Lol. He is really good at lasagne.

You get mince meat, and whatever veggies you want, and cook it up, stir in a tomatoey pasta sauce.

Layer it up like so: lasange sheet, meat sauce, sour cream, and motzarella cheese, lasagne sheet, meat sauce etc etc, and then bake to the pasta sheet specifications. The sour cream and cheese melt together to make a whit sauce. It's a super easy first time thing to cook, and he will love that he cooked something so delicious! I find it works best with a pasta sauce like sun dried tomatoes and garlic, or something like that.

Also, if hubby happens to be home when i'm cooking, i'll explain to him what i'm doing and why. Such as i'm using tomato paste instead of sauce because...... and now i'll put in some wistershire sauce to balance out the tomatoey ness. Cornflour makes things thicken. putting some oil in when you fry with butter stops the butter burning. All these little things we know that enable us to throw something together. Hubby cooking without a recipe atm = bad. lol.

Good luck!

Answer 2

that is nice there are some women still feel that way, but now time have change and it will come in handy if he can cook. If he have that interesting in cooking then share it with him. You never know when this could come in hand. Think about if you have kids one day and you was too tired to cook? What is the chance that you wish that your husband can cook? Then what would happen if you was too sick to cook? Let him see what goes on in prepare the meals that he sit down and enjoying eating. This will open his eyes up more and really appreicate you and his good hot meal when he come in from work. There is no need to feel afraid that he is intruding on your turf. Maybe one day he feel like being romatice and want make dinner for you when he come home from work. Also, when he cook, he have to clean up the dishes!

Answer 3

Honey be glad for the help----have you seen "Take Home Chef" ? This could actually be a sexy romantic thing you two could do together, or take turns doing for each other.

Maybe you could set up some ground rules to help you feel like it is not invading your turf so much. Such as:
* he has to prepare new dishes not ones you already make, so it doesn't feel like he is trying to replace or compete with you
* one cooks the other cleans OR he who cooks must clean
(whichever you think will keep your kitchen the way you want it best)
* steer him toward grilling, baking, or "specialty" cooking.
My husband loves to grill outside--this is HIS domain and when he does this, I cook the side dishes inside. My dad was the Christmas candy maker in our family. His fudge was always the hit of family gatherings. My brother-in-law makes some mean peanut brittle. They didn't/don't totally usurp the kitchen--just found a way to contribute something that was uniquely them!

Find a way to make this work for you and be open to it--lots of wives would give anything to have a man willing to help out like this!

Answer 4

Maybe he wants to help out. Pick up some interesting cookbooks at the library and try some cooking projects together. It can be fun as long as you relax and let him do things in his own way.
Most of the men I know love to cook. They take pride in making a special dish to offer to others. My son prepared much of the food for his high school graduation open house.
There is also a theory that sharing the keeping of your home has a positive effect on your sex life.

Answer 5

I find this very insulting. I am 30 years old and share the cooking with my wife.

I have been cooking since before I could tie my shoes.. LITERALLY.

Much of what I have learned about cooking came from my father, who is the best cook in the family.

Many of the greatest chefs in the world, such as Wolfgang Puck, Gordon Ramsey, Emeril Lagase, etc. are men.

Why do you hang on to such antiquated values?

If you were to die or to suffer from an accident or a medical condition where you were unable to cook, wouldn't you want your husband to be able to eat something other than take-out and Ramen noodles?



EDIT: My great-grandfather died at the age of 26. My wife has a cousin who is in his 20's and can not use his right side because of a permament, incurable medical condition. People can have accidents and medical problems at any age. You will not necessarily be "granny age" when you are no longer able to cook.

Answer 6

I love this story. I can just see him wanting to help out and you not wanting him to. It reminds me of a few sit coms.
Men usually aren't that good in the kitchen unless they really like to cook. Then, they are a BLESSING!!!

If you really don't want him in the kitchen cooking, and feel that strong about it, then could you handle him making the dessert? LOL, he can start with JELLO!

What about him doing the preparation work? After all, that's the first thing you learn!!! Peel potatoes, wash lettuce, chop onion!
It sounds like he really wants to be a helper to you. Give him a chance. If he starts a fire, or burns the bisquits, then put him on kitchen probation!!!

Answer 7

You probably do feel threatened and like he is invading your turf, and by learning to cook perhaps you wouldn't be needed as you are now. But someday you might have kids, get a job, get sick, be busy and it would be very nice if he was able to take care of that task when you are not able. He would also be able to make you special, romantic dinners. There could be an up side to him learning to cook.

Answer 8

Not at all, he is NOT intruding.

Have you ever tried to give yourself alittle free time to yourself?
Maybe it's time.
Let the chores become a 50/50 duty if he wishes to help.
This would make him feel better, give you more time to enjoy things. This is also good advice for a lasting marriage.

If he can't cook, teach him. Or allow him to take up cooking at school. There are High demands from Restaurants needing good cooks and they make good pay. Culinary skills are in demand. Good Luck.

Answer 9

Most chefs are men and cooking in the business world is actually more of a mans job than a womans. So if he has that desire theres nothing wrong with it and you should be an encouraging wife (which is also how the traditional wife you claim to be acts). You 2 could have fun together whipping up some good meals.

Answer 10

oh wow, i was so not happy to see this.....
a man wanna help, and you think is intruding? a good man like your husband is very hard to find!!
1. i dont think you have any right to stop him
2. why do you think a stay home mom have to do all the housework? because what?
3. you say you go to community college, how can you set a bar for women such as housewife's duties? i mean you go to college, you should have known better than that

LAST , you are in your mid 20s.....dont really what to say.....