why do people have affairs ?

Question

me friend is not married but is see two married men at the same time.
In the past when she was married she thouight affairs were terrible and said she could never do it, now she is loving every minute of it and yes there are children involved on both sides.

Answer 1

Sorry to say but they are all a bunch of "LOSERS" who have no morales and low self-esteem.

Answer 2

why do people have affairs..

Women tend to cheat on their significant others or spouses because of a lack of emotional fulfillment, their husband is no longer romantic, he doesnt talk to her anymore , doesnt listen to her anymore, he doesnt notice things about her anymore, maybe makes her feel more like a mom/wife/maid, more so then a "woman" and usually when they are in this low or depression, another man comes into the picture and starts showing her the attention that she's not getting at home, and from there an emotioanl attachment is usually made to the point that she's wiling to risk it all to be with this other man.


Men tend to cheat on their significant others/ spouses more for phsyical reasons, newness, the excitement, the need to conquer something new, and rarely is it an emotional attachment..Its usually a split second decision, ive actually talked to men that have cheated on their wife and questioned them about it, and basically their hormones take over and they dont even think about the consequence until its over. Id even ask, "didnt you even once think of what this would do to your wife" and they said nope not until after it ws over. Then usually once they got away with it once, the feeling they can get away with it again is even more prominent and eventually they get to the point where the guilt even subsides.

Your friend.. just going to take a stab in the dark, but i wonder if her husband cheated on her..and has a " f*** it " type additude towards it now compared to what she had back then when she was married.. Or if she likes it cause maybe she's affraid of commitment herself now cause of her ruined marriage, and this is a way for to keep from having a commitment because they are already commited to others so their lower expectations of what will be expect from her and from them. Either case what she's doing is wrong, and me personally if she was my friend id tell her to call me when she's not doing this, because i wouldnt want to be around anyone that has such low respect for other peoples marriage that she's willing to take the chance of ruining someone else marriage and crushing the lives of not only their spouses but their kids as well. I couldnt be a good friend and watch her do these things and keep my mouth shut about it, so id have to bluntly tell her until she is done with this mess that i dont want to be around her, she's self destructing her own life, and the lives of others..

Answer 3

I think married men are "safe" in that they DO go home to their wives.
If I ever got involved with a married man, I would be soo very grateful to not have to wash his clothes, cook his meals or listen to his bs about work. We could have fun and then I'd pack him off to his wife for "maintainence".
I'm guessing too that the friend has no self esteem..she is acting out with these affairs. Suggest she get help...there are plenty of free divorce support groups out there.
and SHAME ON THE MARRIED MEN who are involved.!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

I think people are trying to get that rush of being with someone new. That rush you get because you just want someone you know you can't have.

If you are married and carrying a relationship with another married person over time usually happens when you both are trying to escape everything that is going on at home.

No happy person that is content with their marriage has an affair. No matter what anyone says.

Answer 5

the real question I would ask is, are we really made to live with just one person ? who decided that what made that the norm ? the answer is religion, our society is based on Christianity and a lot of religions more or less directly have ties with it.
But beside that nothing as ever been proved that we are a monogamists species. a lot of things in our cultures is based on religion and considered as the norm because of it whether you are religious or not is not even the matter the entire norm of our societies are based on that. look at the relationship people have to violence compare to sex look how violence is the norm sex is taboo (e.g. media, everyday life, ratings for kids) where do you think it comes from.
I'm not blaming religion here, I'm just saying that a lot of the norms are derived from it, which bias the legitimacy of it when considering the actual normal supposed development of our species.
so the question regarding what affairs is bad ? just a question of norms and what defines them.

Answer 6

The reason why varies from person to person.

What is astonishing to me is what you said about your friend.

She is divorced and seeing two married family guys.

Imagine the train wreck that will occur when your friend is discovered.

She apparently has no regard for the devastating effect on the children.

I usually do not wish ill-will on others, but perhaps she will end up with a venereal disease.

Answer 7

In my case, I met and fell deeply in love with a guy whom I believed was separated from his wife. By the time I found out the truth I was even deeper in love and since I choose to believe that his marriage is a sham and his wife is .... well, let's not go there .... I just thought "So what?" We have tried not seeing each other but we are both so miserable and besides - not seeing him doesn't make her any happier so as long as I love him I'll keep seeing him.

Answer 8

Your friend is probably on an ego trip. I fail to understand though, why she would do this and risk a break up of two families. Is she a caring person?

Answer 9

Yeah that's a bit hypocritical of her. People basically have affairs because they aren't getting what they need emotionally, and so they look elsewhere to fill the void. Then one day they find that the void is only bigger than before and they've thrown away everything they care about, including their dignity.

People on your friend's end of the affair are there just to have fun, w/o any of the emotional baggage.

Answer 10

I detest people who have affairs - they seem to have little respect for themselves and even less for their partners. Show a bit of respect before entering into an affair and do the decent thing and dump your partner if you aint happy.

Answer 11

They have affairs because they think they will get away with it.
There is something missing from their marriage that they need to talk about and they don't.