Is it ok for a married man to look at naked women on the internet?

Question

My husband has looked at pics of nude women on the net and I have let him know that I'm not ok with it. He doesn't look at hard core porn, but still it's offensive to me because it is so degrading to women. He says I'm a hypocrite because I cheated on him, but we've moved on from that and worked everything out. I would never dream of doing that to him again. It was a bad moment in my life and I made a terrible mistake. He forgave me. But he now acts like he's entitled to a little "action" of his own. He knows it hurts my feelings and he tries to justify it by saying it's art. Plus, I feel like I'm not good enough for him to look at, like not sexy enough. What do you think? Am I totally overreacting? Only serious answers please. No negative or insulting answers either. This is my marriage I'm talking about here. Thank you in advance for your help.

Answer 1

Personally, I didnt put up with it! I wont be second to no paper or pixel pussycat!! If the man doesnt have enough with you-then what does he need you for? I put it to my man like that- he doesnt' need anyone else but me, and if he wanna look, then he can go get that which he covets...thats just rude and disrespectful to you...luckily your not paper and can speak for yourself instead of being objectified like the pinup kitty!! So NO!! its not okay for him if its not okay by you.....He is not entitled to walk all over your feelings/wants/needs, you got rights too my friend....

Answer 2

Married Naked Women

Answer 3

Naked Married Man

Answer 4

1) Is it okay for a married man to look at naked women online? I don't think so. I think it's natural.
2) You think it's degrading to women. How is that so if the women made a conscious choice to take off their clothes for the camera? Especially if it's not hardcore porn that he's looking at, I don't see the degrading defense in this one. If he was looking at women being raped and tortured, then maybe I could see your point.
3) You cheated on him, you're sorry, you won't let that happen again. You're right--two wrongs don't make a right. If he chose to forgive you for that, then it shouldn't be used as an excuse for him to do whatever he wants to, including something that hurts you.
4) It's art. Hmmm...that's a bit of a stretch on his part!
5) You ARE good enough to look at...and even better than that, he loves you, sweetie! :-) All men look, even if they have the most beautiful of wives. It's totally normal.

I don't think you're overreacting only because you're entitled to your feelings and emotions. But I don't think that you should give him such a hard time about it either. I would only have a problem with it if my husband did this when I wanted to spend time with him, or if he totally ignored what I was saying while he was downloading these pictures.

Answer 5

It's not just that you are overreacting, (you are) but it's that you totally don't understand the nature of a man's appreciation of female. Any guy that doesn't occasionally look at a beautiful woman, naked if possible, has got something seriously wrong with him. It is totally natural and normal male behavior, and to expect otherwise is to deny a big part of who and what the guy is. Stop trying to change him and accept the man you married, or you your marriage will end.
It's not a competition between you and hundreds of spectacular models. He chose you, he isn't hunting for a replacement. Believe it or not, it really IS art. As long as looking at it online does not start to become an obsession or a vice that takes the place of real life, or interferes with his ability to relate to the real world, it's harmless. He's just using it as a hobby, really. to liven up his life a little bit more. Don't make the mistake of thinking that by looking at them he is putting you down. It doesn't work that way.
I am of the opinion that being nude for other people to look at is not degrading. Yes people are more than just a sexy body, but so? hubby isn't trying to get in touch with those girls to have deep meaningful conversations, or inquire about the college status and I.Q. His appreciation of them is strictly visual, artistic, sexually stimulating, the way the artist meant it to be. It's not cheating on you. there's no relationship there, no leaving of you, no "action".
So get over your self centered insecurity, and maybe you will learn to understand why he enjoys the beauty of the female form the way he does, along with every other heterosexual man on the planet.

Answer 6

In a word, YES, you are overreacting.

Guys look at naked women. They do that at strip clubs, on computers, movies, Playboy, the art museum, heck even the National Geographic in a pinch.
The images he looked at are NOT the warm body you availed yourself of.
He's right, you are being a bit hypocritical to deny him the VISION of other women while you remain the cheater.
You owe him his indescreation. That he choses not to take it with a breathing person demonstrates his character.

Your problem is your own insecurity and unrealistic expectations.
If you expect a guy to lose all interest in the female form just because you are married to him, well this is true now as always.
When that man loses interest in the female form, he will have lost interest in YOUR female form as well.

As for your infidelity, it happened for a reason . I made a mistake is not a reason. He will forgive but he will NEVER forget. When you bring up something that is unreasonable regarding his behavior you had better expect to hear about it.
Forgiveness is not a free pass. It comes with conditions that you have learned your lesson. It also comes with the suggestion that your relationship is forever changed. He does not really want to hear about your opinion of his activity because you hurt him as much as any person who "loved" him could. The people who suggest that he should not bring this up are being naive. You have demonstrted that you have been unable to make the most serious decisions regarding your relationship. To attempt to make a frankly unreasoinable demand on his viewing habits requires this reminder. That does not compromise his forgiveness only reminds you of his reality.

As for his viewing habits, be glad they have stayed visual.
The reality is you owe him a warm body.
A babe in the bed is worth more than 1,000,000 in the photos.

The thing you may not understand, that he may not have been able to verbalize, is that, you have willingly given up your ability to ask for unconditional love. You have also given up your right to put limits on his behavior which affects your
feelings. That would be because you had no concept of how his feelings would change when you made your "mistake".
This is the price you pay for his not throwing you to the curb, as so many on this post would suggest.

Been there, unfortunately, done that.

You may view this as insulting, its not. It is the reality of what was likely brought into his married life. Negative perhaps, but then you probably do not want to hear from guys who have lived your husbands side. I will say this is completely serious.

Answer 7

There is one or two things you can do. You can forbid him to look at porn. He will most likely still view it, except he will become more secretive by trying to hide it from you. Or you could tell him he can look, but there is going to be some guidelines so no one gets their feelings hurt. One of these suggestions should include that if porn starts taking precedent over marital relations, it will have to go. You also need to tell him that if he tried to seduce you like he did when you were going out, both of you would benefit. You would feel more attractive and he would wind up having more sex with a real live woman. Sometimes a man, like a woman, just wants to take care of things. Plus men are extremely visual. Try to find a middle ground where both of you can be happy. Have you ever thought of joining him or doing a search of your own to see what stimulates you? It could be something new you could share. I know I would rather have my hubby at home on the computer rather than out and about looking for some other stimulation! Hope you get things worked out!

Answer 8

Obviously he didn't forgive you, because if he did he wouldn't keep bringing it up and using it as an excuse to look at naked women. Two wrongs don't make a right. He should understand that at this moment you have low self esteem and he should do what he can to make you feel loved, needed &sexy...like buy what the models are wearing and have you wear it instead. I would also suggest counseling. I know it sounds generic, but it sounds like there are some deep seeded issues on both ends that needs to be brought out and spoken about, and that is done best when there is a third person involved (other than friends or family)
But that is just my opinion and y advice. I am sure that you are a beautiful lady...you just need to believe that.

Answer 9

Its not so much that you're not sexy enough to look at, but all men just naturally want to see women naked. I've been in a relationship for four years and am extremely happy, but i still enjoy perusing through some beautiful naked women. If the relationship and sex are still going good, it should be a problem, and shame on you for cheating, he's a better man than I am cause i dont think I could forgive and forget. But like I said if this is all thats wrong in your relationship, youre doing good...

Answer 10

Because you're not OK with it doesn't mean he should stop. Putting your affair aside, what he's doing is legal and, after all, he's just looking at pictures.
By no means am I trying to sound insulting, but don't be so sensitive.
I'd be willing to bet if you didn't say a word about it he may stop.
Or, you could surprise him. The next time your sitting around the house with nothing to do, suggest you look at the pictures together. That may just cure him.
Best of luck.

Answer 11

In the first place it is not degrading for a woman to pose nude. Never has been , never will be as long is she is doing it of her own free will and being paid for it.

We men enjoy looking at naked women.

He has a point. You cheated on him so it is rather hypocritical of you to get upset when all he does is LOOK at IMAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why don't you look with him. Discover what he likes. If it is lingerie, get the kind he likes, if it is poses learn to pose that way and seduce him. Whatever it is YOU should try and fill that gap for him. If you keep him busy having sex and being treated the way he needs to be treated he won't have time for internet porn. Well OKAY he is a man, he will find time, but he will spend less time with the internet if he is getting more of the real thing from his hot wife.

Now get to work on your husband and quit complaining!