Marriage & Divorce - 13 September 2007

I have been with my husband for almost eight years, since I was 15, we have a wonderful son who I adore, I love my son and my husband more than anything even though we do fight quite a bit, just about everyday things like money and family, we always get through everything, for the past few months Ive been having dreams about him leaving and me being with another man and usually its this guy I have not seen in years that I used to have a huge crush on... I do sometimes have feelings like would we both be happier apart considering neither one of us has ever really been in another serious relationship, I just dont know, anyone been in this same type of situation, what did you do, just suppress these feelings and move on, if you decided to split, were you happier in the end? any thoughts are appreciated!

2007-09-13 04:19:40 · 6 answers · asked by domsmom701 3

Um..ok this is weird for me as to i don't normally ask this kinda stuff. It is normal to become "frustrated" and well "bit*hy" due to lack of sex? Also, i don't like to "start" it with my husband i want him to do the initiating and he said he is shy doing that because he never knows when i want to..ect ect. He has been asking me what was wrong the past few days and i would just say nothing because i don't want to "ask" for it. But i hinted about it this morning that that may be why i am frustrated. Suggestions, answers, actual helpful comments? Some weeks it will be everyday that we have sex and other weeks it is different.

2007-09-13 04:14:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is the deal with jealousy and insecurity these days? I have recently dealt with friends of mine having double standards concerning FRIENDSHIPS with other people. I believe it is healthy to maintain and create friendships, regardless of gender, for the purposes of support, fun, etc in work, day to day, and personal life.

Now, how is it fair for somebody to say they have have those friendships, but their spouse can't? Keep in mind, these are in no way romantic. Also, if you are somehow worried that they will BECOME that way, what are you doing to help feed and maintain your own relationship to prevent any chance of that happening? Saying that your spouse cannot have any friends of a certain gender just sounds petty and jealous.

I guess what I'm asking is do you think that it's normal and okay to let jealousy and insecurity control your life? When you consider it, people *choose* to stray or to be together, or that's how it should be. You aren't required to accept an advance.

2007-09-13 04:14:04 · 9 answers · asked by mommylicious 2

I still love my wife I think. I mean she was nasty to me, abusive, is being difficult through this divorce. I guess i remember marrying her and loving her. It's hard to forget how in love i was with her. I guess i'm hoping that person will return not the nasty one that has caused me so much pain. However i do realize i still love the woman i married but there's nothing i can do until she wants to try since she's the one that left (even though she's claiming i kicked her out and is lying). i tried dating other people but her and i knew each other like the back of our hands. What should i do? some days i'm weak and want to contact her but with all the legal stuff going on and how nasty this woman has become, i don't think that's a good idea. my lawyer says given her impulsiveness leave her alone but i want to tell her i still love her but i haven't had any contact from her. I'm realizing while dating other women that i still love her. help?

2007-09-13 04:13:09 · 6 answers · asked by survivor 1

Specifically; if someone cheated on their wife / husband, and was forgiven, would there still be scriptural grounds for divorce if the couple at a LATER point wanted a divorce but neither had cheated at that particular time?

Also, a secondary question, since the only scriptural grounds for divorce is adultery, would a person be reproved in any way if they divorced someone that was very violent towards them?

2007-09-13 04:12:13 · 10 answers · asked by Paul S 4

I'm trying to reach level 5 before my son's graduation, but I keep asking questions??

2007-09-13 04:09:36 · 11 answers · asked by Jennifer S 4

Just as the question states.

I need new strategies instead of fighting back and getting so upset.

What do you do? Deep Breath? Go for a walk, hot bath, do something to keep your mind off it?

What else?

2007-09-13 04:07:18 · 27 answers · asked by Karyzma77 2

Been married almost 3 yrs, split up 2 mos ago. Wife left - sez its cause she couldn't stand me getting on her case about being irresponsible w/ our finances (creating unnecessary debt, hiding bills -- with no job), our family business (decided to drop out cuz I couldn't hold her hand thru every "issue") , and rearing her teen daughter.

Has since moved in with her dad, 90 miles away, and he literally helps her find ways to justify her crappy behavior. She makes agreements with me - mostly now over custody/visitation of our 2-yr old son - then finds excuses to break them if things are not working in her favor.

**we've spent 2 yrs already in family counseling, at my expense.**

i do love her but can't deal with the negligence. before she left i closed the joint accounts, but have been sending money for my son weekly. when we were together, she wouldn't really discuss issues, but now she is quite explosive about them (and 90 miles away -- coward!)

where to go with this?

2007-09-13 04:01:04 · 16 answers · asked by Shell Answer Man 5

Okay people: My g/f has informed me last night that I don't make love, I only F**K. I have only been with 2 women so I'm not sure even what it is. Could some one please give me a crash course. I would be truly greatfull, please be serious.Mike

2007-09-13 03:56:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

it is normal ?

2007-09-13 03:56:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband told me sometimes he is out on the street walking the dog and he can see me step out of the bath tub. He says he loves it, and sometimes when I take a shower and he is in the bed already he is staring at me through the door. Its flattering but sometimes annoying. I kind of went off one time, to please give me privacy once in a while. Since then he doesn't do it. I love my husband and our sex life is amazing but I feel like we should be entitled to our private moments. Am I wrong for feeling this way towards him?

2007-09-13 03:50:29 · 44 answers · asked by Maria 5

I have tried to explain how important it is to me but obviously it is not to him. I am always the initiator and I've tried many different strategies to get him in the "mood". I don't know what else to do.

2007-09-13 03:48:14 · 9 answers · asked by Jess 1

my wife and i have been separated for 3 months. because she said she was unhappy, i wasnt in her heart anymore and she couldnt be intimate with me also, that since i had a kid she couldnt be first although i said i would make them both first when called for. i have tried for 2 months to work on things, she has declined saying just one week ago it seems easier to just sign papers and move on. now she sends me an email saying she respects i gave her space, she has been thinking alot and wants to meet next week so we could have another week to think....what does she want to meet about? after last weeks email it was as if she was done....????
we dated for 2 years b4 marriage, one she pushed all along...

2007-09-13 03:46:35 · 11 answers · asked by amayseng 3

no need to pontificate... just a clean list...
really reminds me of the issues surrounding integration... their was no REASON per se that black people couldn't eat in restaurants along side white people... yet their was tremendous opposition... so... i'm trying to get some real REASON that gay marriage is a THREAT to american society... RIGHT WING...THIS IS YOUR CHANCE.!!... and if you just post some meaningless hate crap you'll expose yourselves and help to further my point... so please feel free...

2007-09-13 03:46:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is it just me? That I find Divorce Super Extremely Scary!!! OR do other people are just as scared as me???

2007-09-13 03:43:36 · 26 answers · asked by pain_of_unhappiness 2

I hope you like this one as much,
As the others that are equally true.
Because I want to tell you why,
Why it is that I love you.

2007-09-13 03:39:04 · 11 answers · asked by sajmir 2

2007-09-13 03:36:03 · 29 answers · asked by worriedmum 1

Here's the story. I found this question. Please read the final answers, the rest doesn't matter.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjqDI4c2WklVIdxG_N9vtrUIxgt.;_ylv=3?qid=20070911105945AAPN4xQ
The man lost his genitals. So, would you still stay with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife in those situations:
1 If this would happen to you
2. If this would happen to he/she.

2007-09-13 03:30:06 · 15 answers · asked by Fr0z3nByt3 3

I am not a morning person. When I get up in the morning I am pissed at the whole world. I want to get up, shower and get ready for work without being bothered (1/2 hr). My husband of 12 years cannot get this through his head. For the first 11 1/2 years he was asleep in the mornings so I didn't have to deal with him. Now he insists on getting up every weekday morning trying to have conversations with me as I am getting ready for work. I have tried to be very nice and tell him that I will talk to him after I have finished getting ready. I have told him it has nothing to do with the way I feel about him. He will not listen to me. Every morning we go through the same thing. If I don't answer a question as politely or am not as chipper as he wants then he gets all hurt. I ask him why he puts me and himself through this every morning and he says "I just want to talk to you". Should I pretend to be miss sunshine just to make him happy even though he doesnt respect my feelings.

2007-09-13 03:27:40 · 21 answers · asked by golfinggoddess 2

I posted before re my daughter and her issues with my boyfriend. After discussion with her why she is upset with some things in our situation, she said he's too chummy with his ex for her.

My question is...how chummy is too chummy?

They do have a child together. They also work together. So there are ties that binds.

I have had difficulties with her asking him to do things, like call the Weed man for her, or go to the house to let painters in, or flooring men or the landscaper, etc. They went out to buy a bike for the son together then ended up having supper at a restaurant all three of them.

I know in this day and age of divorces being so common, that it is encouraged that 'exes' get along for the sake of the children, but are there boundaries and guidelines? I know couples where the new wife and the old wife are friends.

What constitutes 'getting along' and what is 'too chummy'?

2007-09-13 03:25:32 · 18 answers · asked by xxxxi 1

Nearly 3 years & I still miss her.

She began working nights 10+ years ago, - I asked her to work days to be on the same schedule. Said she could earn money & home school our 2 retarded sons. Pressure grew - nervous breakdown, abandoned our sons for 2 days - I was out of town. After, she agreed to a public school for them 4 services.

Her mother got sick & died - she grew even more depressed than with the boys & was on 3 types of psych meds at 1 time. She grew more & more distant, refusing sex or being very erotic, very happy or sadly distant... with no in between.

I used her car one day and found 2 strange books about personality disorders with notes she wrote about me having the disorder. The author is Sam Vaknin A TOTAL FRAUD about NPD. She tried to diagnose me & used this book 2 blame me for everything. She left. So much hate from her, so undeserved. She's improved but is 2 proud 2 say she was wrong even though she admitted she could have done things differently

2007-09-13 03:24:20 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2

2007-09-13 03:24:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Despite the question language, i really am a sensitive guy. I dont wear panties or anything, but I listen to what my wife says...and what she doesnt say. I just have the feeling that no matter what I do, she has an image in her head of what a man is and does, and Im stuck with that. She constantly criticizes me for things that I do and dont do, and then tells me Im overly sensitive when I stand up for myself. I take the trash out, I get up for work every day at 6, I take her out, I tell her I love her everyday, the sex is good and regular, I take her to the market after work because she wont walk 2 blocks, I take her and the baby to the park and to the mall regularly, but If Im tired and want to sleep for and hour I'm lazy? Or if I didnt put a bib on the baby and she drips a little food on her clothes Im a bafoon?? Im looking for an honest womans response...what is going on??? Is she just annoyed with me? I feel like shes not in my corner, which hurts me alot

2007-09-13 03:20:43 · 22 answers · asked by john b 1

My husband and have a great relationship except for in one aspect, his family. His sister is my age and is constantly being negative toward and saying things like I'm a little 'chunky' and that so-and-so doesn't look good on me. I'm an attractive 24 year old woman with an hourglass figure (36D:40-30-40) and my husband loves it. His sister on the other hand is about 100lbs soaking wet and flat-chested and slim-hipped. But every time I mention that his sister said something hurtful he always just says she's 'always been that way' and that I should just accept that. I've told her I don't appreciate her sniping comments and she just laughs it off and says she's 'joking.' Should I just take this sort of abuse from this woman or am I right in thinking that my husband needs to tell his sister that it being being nasty to his wife won't be tolerated?

2007-09-13 03:15:35 · 17 answers · asked by Kitten 4

I want to leave my husband for a while. I have made him leave a couple times before and he knows that because he has to live with his mother he will eventually come back and things will be ok for a while but then back to the same old junk. We have been married for alomost 8 years. I have two children 13 and 16 and when we get along we really get along but when we argue we really argue and most of the time it is how I am raising my children he thinks I shoul dbe more strict and i think if you don;t allow them to make some decisions and mistakes on their own they will never make it in this big old worl of ours. we started arguing on sunday it is now thursday and he has been giving me the silent treatment since then. i think if i pack my things and leave perhaps it will give him a wakeup call that i am not going to continue to put up with this crap anymore i love him very much but i cannot live the remainder of my life with these up and down moods do you think leving will wake him up

2007-09-13 03:12:29 · 22 answers · asked by Scorpio_sting 2

2007-09-13 03:07:22 · 4 answers · asked by Honey 1

My wife works for a large company and she is the only woman in her department. Her friends are mostly men... Lately she seems to have become very protective of one of them and I do not like it at all. I am convinced he is just waiting for the chance to get in her pants. I happen to know one guy my wife works with and have befriended him so that, without letting him in on my secret thoughts, am using him knowing that he would spill it out if something went on between my wife and this other guy. Eventually this guy's name did come up during conversation and I then asked my friend to invite this guy to come along for a drink. Neither of them know who I am married to. We went out the three of us and there he started spilling his guts about how he had a crush on this hot woman at his workplace, and how he intends to bone her. He even went as far as saying, among other things, that by the look of things, she has the hots for him and is asking for it. I am now unsure how to tackle this.

2007-09-13 03:03:29 · 13 answers · asked by Rick 1

Hubby and I have been married for 5 years, and had been friends for 5 prior to that. We began having problems, a lot of fighting, little progress. We even tried to go on a vacation to reconnect, but we just didn't work out. Despite the divorce and the problems, I will probably always love him, because he's a really decent person, always has been. We just had problems.

I'm moving out-of-state for a my job, and to de-stress. This whole thing had me sick, but I found out that it wasn't stress, and that I'd gotten pregnant on our vacation 3 months ago. My husband found out that I hadn't been feeling well (doesn't know about the baby) through a co-worker of mine and has been leaving me messages to that he's just checking on me and to feel better.

We're getting along better since we began proceedings, and I don't want to disrupt that. I don't know what or when to tell my husband about the baby, or if I even should at all. I don't want to complicate this already complicated situation.

2007-09-13 02:58:12 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm pretty sure the answer to the first question is always "yes."

But I'll be damned if I know where to start on # 2.

2007-09-13 02:55:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, he is recently divorced, and shares 3 daughters w/ his ex. We spend weekends and nights together often, but when his children are with us, he doesn't act like we are a couple. We bought a boat together, my name as primary, and the boat is at my house. His children think the boat is solely his. What is going on? His children are rude to me at times, and he doesn't correct them. he thinks telling them we are a couple is "cramming things down their throat." Their mother lies to them, told them she had a 2nd job, but was really sneaking around to see a man she worked with. So it is ok for the mother to date, but not the father? Please tell me what I am not seeing here????

2007-09-13 02:55:11 · 16 answers · asked by MGrnl 2