What do you do to avoid arguments with your significant other?

Question

Just as the question states.

I need new strategies instead of fighting back and getting so upset.

What do you do? Deep Breath? Go for a walk, hot bath, do something to keep your mind off it?

What else?

to the person who asked how long have we been together it is 2.5 years. Why wouldn't we fight if it was less than 4 years??? I don't know one single couple that DIDN"T fight in the first 4 years of their relationship.

Answer 1

Just stop fighting back, Realize the fact that shes driving her self crazy fighting you. After shes done going nuts, calmly explain your point and maybe she will have a better sense of understanding.

Answer 2

The root of all emotion in these situations is usually assumptions that each party has. Read the book Crucial Conversations. It is not a long book. You can ask questions and respond in thoughtful and considerate way.

It is possible that the other person is the one who starts the discussion and make the volitile comment. You can take the responsibility of calming the situation by a response that searches for more information about how the person is feeling and what makes them feel that way. This is better than fighting back and starts a dialogue about what each of you would like to achieve.

Answer 3

I try to pick my battles.....don't worry about the small stuff. It is all in how you fight with one another...you can argue but be respectful of one another. I sometimes will just keep my mouth shut and not say anything....so as to not say something that I will regret later. Taking a deep breath, going for a walk, taking a hot bath are all good ideas to take your mind off a potential argument with your spouse.

Answer 4

It sounds like you may put up your defenses early and over-react... I do the same thing, so I am not criticizing. I've found that if a subject gets either one of us really worked up, we take a "time out" until we can cool off and think clearly again. Too many times your initial reaction is not very rational, and some time to think things over isn't such a bad option. The other thing is to pick and choose your battles carefully, not everything is worth fighting for, especially with your relationship on the line. Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

Learn your partners form of communication, and instead of fighting with him/her, have a conversation while keeping your emotions in check. Lots of time it is your body language or the way you say something that tends to make the biggest difference in an argument. Hold hands while you are fighting, this usually prevents things from getting to heated. After all, who can get mad at the one they love when they feel their touch. Just be careful how you come across with your body language and your tone when talking about a potential problem. Good luck.

Answer 6

Pick and choose the things that are really worth fighting about. Ask yourself if this is really a big issue, or if it's just a small little thing that will be forgotten. There's no need to discuss every little problem. Save the deep discussions for the things that are worth the time their going to take. Life is short.

Answer 7

That's what I do. Go for a walk, go to another room and just relax and think logically about the situation. Arguments are caused by one party being too emotional and not logical and reasonable enough. It's okay to disagree on a reasonable level, but there's no need to argue like a fool.

Answer 8

I say what I have to say, and then I go get into a hot bath for a while. I will walk outside to try to calm down. It just takes so long for me to calm down it is hard to do anything. When I start to get real upset, I just say, "OK, that is enough. Let's stop it, I am done." Then I refuse to talk about it any further.

Answer 9

The other day we got into it and he yelled at me.I left and went upstairs then the next mornign when the kids were not around I came down and said I do not appreciate your calling me names in front of the kids and I am not speaking to you for the week til you think about it and do not speak to me....
I will not be cooking your dinner or doing your clothes you can do those on your own....boy that didnt take long he came home with whole new attitude after about 48 hours.

Answer 10

Depends on what you fight about. If it's a non-issue and you're just fighting because you disagree then I take a walk. But sometimes arguments are necessary if it's an important issue.