I am not a morning person. When I get up in the morning I am pissed at the whole world. I want to get up, shower and get ready for work without being bothered (1/2 hr). My husband of 12 years cannot get this through his head. For the first 11 1/2 years he was asleep in the mornings so I didn't have to deal with him. Now he insists on getting up every weekday morning trying to have conversations with me as I am getting ready for work. I have tried to be very nice and tell him that I will talk to him after I have finished getting ready. I have told him it has nothing to do with the way I feel about him. He will not listen to me. Every morning we go through the same thing. If I don't answer a question as politely or am not as chipper as he wants then he gets all hurt. I ask him why he puts me and himself through this every morning and he says "I just want to talk to you". Should I pretend to be miss sunshine just to make him happy even though he doesnt respect my feelings.
2007-09-13 03:27:40 · 21 answers · asked by golfinggoddess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I understand you completely - i am prepared to blow up the world when i first get up in the morning. Married 24 years, it took my husband 20 years to understand that I simply am not a morning person.
He used to be a night owl, and would wake up in a pretty good mood regardless how much or little sleep he had. (Notice I said used to be!)
Now his age is catching up with him, and if he stays up too late, he too is now a grumble *** in the morning until he has a cup of coffee..and a smoke!
So he has finally come to understand after all these years, not to talk to me until I actually resemble a human being after a coffee, shower and getting dressed !!
Don't pretend anything - just go on being yourself. The day WILL come when the happy pills will wear off and your husband will understand you 100% !!
Trust me with this.....! Good luck!
2007-09-13 03:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are completely reasonable in wanting to be alone to get ready for work., especially if it's only 30 minutes! Tell him you don't have time to talk and it's nothing personal but you need every minute to get ready. It's weird that this just started recently. After 11 1/2 years you should be flattered that he is being clingy but like in other answers, there is a reason this has started.
2007-09-13 03:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by trayl65 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are morning people and there are night people. Morning people jump out of bed and are ready to go. Night people (when they are forced to get up in the morning) hate life until they get moving! Your husband need to have it explained to him in a very simple way!
When he is ready to go to sleep at night, start a conversation with him, just like he does to you in the morning! He will be tired and not want to talk but if he is not polite and chipper, act hurt! It may take a couple of days, but he should get the message.
2007-09-13 05:23:43 · answer #3 · answered by fire4511 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am just like you. So I don't think you're being unreasonable, but maybe I'm biased, lol. We can't expect our partners to be "on" 100% of the time. We all have our own personalities and body clocks, and this just happens to be ours. How would he like it if you insisted on having conversations during the football game? Or at midnight after he's worked all day and he's dozing on the sofa? We have to respect each other's body shifts and realize that we all need down time. I wish I could give you some advice on how to make him understand, but I was in the same boat when I was married, sorry. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-09-13 03:37:05 · answer #4 · answered by meagain 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of the same way in the morning....I want a cup of coffee and peace then talk all you want. You could get up 30 Min's earlier for your needed time. Or you can tell him to stop let it all hang out in the morning so to speak. Talk to him in the evening about you needing your morning 30 Min's and, ask him to respect that. He has all this time so what has changed? If you get up a little earlier then you can give him a little time to talk with you in the morning.
2007-09-13 03:39:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey i understand not being a morning person and well my boyfriend is up at the crack of dawn and smiley every morning. One day i had a talk with him after i was awake and not so miserable and explained that my head is foggy in the morning and i didn't always get everything he was talking about and i asked him to please wait until i started talking to him because this meant i was ready to listen. at first he ignored me and kept trying to talk to me so later in the day i would ask him to repeat everything he said in the morning whether i heard him or not. he got tired of repeating himself and learned to wait.
2007-09-13 03:48:07 · answer #6 · answered by aeval_anu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a morning person. When he gets up, he is happy with the whole world. He wants to get up, talk to his wife, maybe fool around a little. He used to be asleep when his wife got up, but he missed her, so he started getting up early, to spend some time with her. She tried to be nice, but ended up bitching him out. For some reason, he still loves her. Should he just stop trying, even though she doesn't respect his feelings? Maybe there is someone out there who would be less moody, and more loving toward him......Just something to think about.
2007-09-13 04:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
he could be more understanding, but I think the majority of women out there would prefer a man that actually wants to talk to them...especially after 12 years of marriage.
Look for a compromise. Get up a little earlier for "your" time and insist that you need your time and space during that time.
Communication between spouses can be so frustrating sometimes. Keep trying.
2007-09-13 03:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by Toolman 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it's so funny how some women want "alone time" and not talk to their husbands and others want their husbands to talk to them. It's so sad to see how we are never satisfied with the good things we have. We always have to question it or disagree with it just because at the moment we don't want it. When we want it back we might not get it anymore because it went somewhere else.
2007-09-13 04:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by why ask 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should talk to him and be more considerate. I'm sure he's not doing it purposely to get on your nerves. He may just want to be more involved in your life or something happen and he's trying to find out what's wrong. Go to sleep early so you want be so angry in the morning. I've been married for 2 yrs and I would love for my hubby to wake up and talk to me as I get ready to go to work. Please don't take this personal, 12 yrs is a long time.
Just enjoy that you have someone that wants to communicate with you and not waiting for you to leave, so he can call someone else and wake them up and put a smile on their face before they leave for work. (Hint)
2007-09-13 03:58:24 · answer #10 · answered by sweetcheeks 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋