Um..ok this is weird for me as to i don't normally ask this kinda stuff. It is normal to become "frustrated" and well "bit*hy" due to lack of sex? Also, i don't like to "start" it with my husband i want him to do the initiating and he said he is shy doing that because he never knows when i want to..ect ect. He has been asking me what was wrong the past few days and i would just say nothing because i don't want to "ask" for it. But i hinted about it this morning that that may be why i am frustrated. Suggestions, answers, actual helpful comments? Some weeks it will be everyday that we have sex and other weeks it is different.
2007-09-13 04:14:41 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What I have found is that men like for their women to show some interest by initiating sex every once in a while. And there is nothing at all wrong with enjoying and wanting it, especially when you are in a committed loving relationship.
What is wrong is to say 'nothing' is wrong when obviously 'something' is bothering you and even knowing what it is and being bitchy for no apparent reason (to him). A close relationship does need intimacy and if you are withholding it- even passive-aggressively by just being aloof or bitchy, you are blocking any chance of it.
By the way- men don't take hints. They need simple straight-forward good old-fashioned communication, just like we do. If you don't want to just come out and say 'hey, do me!", leave him little love notes telling him what you want when you get home, send him a text message during the day telling him you are excited to see him... men love that stuff as much as women do and I rpomise, once you show you are interested, you will be getting a lot more attention and a lot less 'frustrated'!
Best of luck to you!
2007-09-13 04:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by EazyBreezy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This sounds too much like my own situation. My wife didn't seem interested for long periods of time. I stopped trying to initiate sex, because I ended up feeling rejected. The reality was that we had other issues that we weren't discussing. Sometimes a subtle hint isn't enough. Next time he asks what's wrong, say what you're really feeling. Something like, "I want you, in our bedroom, NOW!" Men sometimes feel that they are the only ones who enjoy sex. Good communication is important in any relationship. Some men are better than others at reading body language and other clues. Most men, however can be ready for sex very quickly. Women tend to take longer to warm up.
2007-09-13 11:43:32 · answer #2 · answered by Mover50 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal to be frustrated by the lack of sex. You and your husband need to talk about it though. He is shy and you dont want to initiate it so there is a bit of a problem there. You may have to take some of the initiative and say "hey honey, I want you".
You have to try to keep things spontaneous, so dont try to schedule intimacy. Just talk with hubby and see what each of you can do to solve this problem.
2007-09-13 11:22:57 · answer #3 · answered by snowbirdbabe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been without sex or sexual contact for a while - am I upperty about it? Sure, but I don't gloat the fact. I can actually relax and find pleasures in other things not dealing directly with mister George wants and needs prowling about my brain half the time. There are other things in life that can be enjoyed..like reading, movies, setting up a project and taking your dirty mind off of the wants and needs lists of interaction. Sure I miss it - actually I think George misses it too but I don't think what he thinks..I think what I think and wanna do and just get on with it. If someone asks you to get affectionate then use your head and find new ways of exploring the missing parts. Read up on some revival course in intercourse you might find the urges will astound you both. As for now, you are not alone with such frustrations...talk to people about them and see what the general point of view is..get some advice as it were..and do read up on them..books are at the library..spend some intimate times perusing them..you will be enlightened. Enjoy!
2007-09-13 11:29:31 · answer #4 · answered by upyerjumper 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh yes, it's normal to be frustrated from lack of sex! It's a physical need, and that need is not being satisfied.
The truth of the matter is that some people are just not comfortable with being the initiator. That's something that you need to accept and move on from. Put on something sexy and jump him! Who cares who starts it. What's more important is how it finishes!
2007-09-13 11:20:38 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A relationship has to be 50/50 and your husband can't always be the one to initiate sex. You should initiate it once in a while too, show him that he's wanted physically. If you initiated it once in a while instead of waiting for him to start it, then you wouldn't get so frustrated and unhappy.
2007-09-13 12:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys normally initiate cuz they are animals like that. But some guys like the girl to be dominant, if you want it that bad, you will have to make a move, start by maybe cuddling and see how far you can take it before he swoops in with something. maybe even have drinks, that always helps to loosen ppl up. have a nice dinner and drinks then watch a movie and get on it before you chicken out because of nerves or whatever makes you not want to make the first move.
2007-09-13 11:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by partymonstergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't just walk up say "let's f**k" like some coarse porn flick. But you DO just walk up and say "let's kiss." If he stops before you're done, ask him why he stopped. If it's some good reason, like "to go open a bottle of wine" (or even to go to the bathroom, haha), just tell him to hurry back. Believe me, guys think about sex every 10 seconds or so and he will get the idea.
2007-09-13 11:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband! Why are you still too shy to ask?? You are allowed! When you go to bed tonight, just start with a simple kiss, and then more kissing...etc. You are married...you should have as much sex as you want/can.
2007-09-13 11:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Ray Ray 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FYI, men are simple stupid creatures and "subtle hints" don't work, heck "blatant hints" sometimes don't work either. Even telling us directly sometimes doesn't work. Damn, I'm glad I'm a man and don't have to deal with men that way.
I say handcuff him to the bed and tell him he's been a bad bad boy.
2007-09-13 12:46:20 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋