my wife and i have been separated for 3 months. because she said she was unhappy, i wasnt in her heart anymore and she couldnt be intimate with me also, that since i had a kid she couldnt be first although i said i would make them both first when called for. i have tried for 2 months to work on things, she has declined saying just one week ago it seems easier to just sign papers and move on. now she sends me an email saying she respects i gave her space, she has been thinking alot and wants to meet next week so we could have another week to think....what does she want to meet about? after last weeks email it was as if she was done....????
we dated for 2 years b4 marriage, one she pushed all along...
2007-09-13 03:46:35 · 11 answers · asked by amayseng 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dated two years,,, married 10 months b4 she left.......she didnt even give it a chance for adjustment
2007-09-13 06:07:13 · update #1
You don't say how long you were married before the separation but considering you dated for 2 years and she knew you had a child and knew your child before you got married, my response is- it sounds like she wanted a wedding more than she wanted a marriage. Give her the week and see what she has to say. If she wants to give it another try, you need to get into counseling immediately. Insist on it. If she wants to split, so be it. Give her a divorce and move on. But don't let her drag this out indefinitely. If she's not willing to be 100% in the marriage, you need to move on.
2007-09-13 03:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you still love her? if the answer is yes, then if i were you i would keep trying-she sounds confused and insecure about her place in your heart/life. maybe a little romance-take her on an official date and re-declare your love for her and if you 2 had made any "family goals" well let her know that those are still your goals for your family. i myself have been married for 30 plus years, i won't say that every second has been bliss, but what we have is very special, and took alot of work on both our parts. maybe think of the relationship as something you 2 are "building together "- i don't know how long you were married b4 this came to pass- if things were good b4 then build on that-anything worth having IS worth working for! good luck hope this helps
2007-09-13 11:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by kurvantidevidasi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I''ve never been a believer of moving out to get some "space". Marriage is two together, working on a daily basis to make things work. The more time she spends out of the house, the more you will resent her. What is she thinking about? If she loves you? If she can live without you?....Go to marriage counceling. If she is not up to that, it means she doesn't want, nor feels the need to, make any effort to go out of her way to get the true answers. She needs to know she is hurting you deeply. Prayers of strength to you my friend.
2007-09-13 10:54:39 · answer #3 · answered by mowsermae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her if she is willing to go to marriage counceling. There is no shame in asking for help (like you are doing with this posting). If you love her and think there may be some love left in your wife... dont take the easy way out with a divorce uniless you atleast try the counceling. Good luck hun.
2007-09-13 10:54:24 · answer #4 · answered by shadowsthathunt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, i think your wife might be suffering from post child depression that most women do have after their conceive a child. She might me behaving a bit childlishly thinking you do not pay attention to her after the child, but i am assuming that she is coming on terms with it. Do you still love her?
Women also try to feel special and feel loved and cared for, maybe she sent you an e-mail because she expected you to at least say "not to go" or hold her back or even jst say it. It would make her feel special.
Well if you still have feelings for her, give her a try, i think in most cases it should be the post depression she had with the kid, when women feel they arent free anymore and they are different etc--all psychological.
2007-09-13 10:55:48 · answer #5 · answered by JustCurious87 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. It's hard to let go, but it sounlds like for YOUR sake to let some time go by and see what happens. You don't want to get back together only to have this happen again in a few months. Been there done that and it's very hard.
2007-09-13 11:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by Suze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hard work, give this to her and maybe you will end up with a good strong marriage. If not then at least you can say you did all you could do...Good luck.
2007-09-13 10:54:07 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she thought marriage would be the answer to all her problems. she knew you had a child, so she has no argument there. I think you should listen to what she has to say but don't take her back right away, tell her you have to think about if she is the right person to bring into yours and your child's life.
2007-09-13 10:54:08 · answer #8 · answered by just me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that divorce looks eminent, she's having second thoughts. Or whoever she was seeing dumped her and you are old reliable to her. Either way, it's up to you how you want to proceed. Do you want to give it another shot, or are you done with the roller coaster ride and want to get off?
2007-09-13 10:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know you have given her chance after chance.We all go through moods is our mate right etc.We stick i out and respect each other.Remember to look out for you and know you deserve someone who will be there for you show you affection.Do not settle for less.why should you move on and do not play games.tell her you love her and respect her but its time to move on for you.
Its hard to tell what she wants to discuss it could be anything.But remember to keep your head on straight.
My bro in law and brother have been in this postion and been taken advantage of because they still love their exs...do not let ex's stomp over you!!
2007-09-13 10:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by hugsandhissyfits 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋