Specifically; if someone cheated on their wife / husband, and was forgiven, would there still be scriptural grounds for divorce if the couple at a LATER point wanted a divorce but neither had cheated at that particular time?
Also, a secondary question, since the only scriptural grounds for divorce is adultery, would a person be reproved in any way if they divorced someone that was very violent towards them?
2007-09-13 04:12:13 · 10 answers · asked by Paul S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm beginning to feel that this wasn't such a controversial question after all (lol), thanks Adam's Rib!
2007-09-13 04:47:28 · update #1
Darn it, you've sussed me out! I hope my wife doesn't see this question (hehe).
This question popped into my head after a few experiences I've heard....felt really sorry for the innocent ones!
2007-09-13 22:57:44 · update #2
So far I've had some pretty decent answers, (although some are based on personal opinion).
I understand that forgiveness is forgiveness, and that once the inocent party has gone back to having sex with the guilty one, then that's like remariage.
It must be so hard for the inocent one to do this (sorry, I'm just a jealous kind of guy! lol)
Unsilenced Lamb - Yes, I don't think that rough sex is very loving....but I can understand where you're getting that angry, "I want to kill you", look in his eyes from!
2007-09-13 23:08:11 · update #3
I knew of a sister who was being physically abused by her unbelieving husband, and they got a devorce. My wife is studying right now and she was the one that raised the question. Karysia (my wife) said with conviction that she would devorce the guy if he was beating her up! I simply told her that the unhappy couple could seperate....and that no doubt somewhere down the line the wife beater would probably find someone else and commit audultary (which opens the way for the wife to divorce). I was just wondering whether anyone else had any experiences or could shed some more light on the matter.
2007-09-13 23:27:15 · update #4
Once a couple has gotten the issue behind them, and have agreed to forgive and forget, no, they cannot later divorce and remarry over the adultery in question. Especially if sex occurred after wards. Jehovah considers the sex act after the fact as motion of accepting back and forgiving.
Keep in mind, you have left the remarrying part out of your questions.
A person cannot divorce and remarry on grounds of abuse.
They can leave, and stay away as long as it takes. Until they are safe to do so, they don not have to return to the abusing spouse
2007-09-14 00:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by rangedog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully Paul S this isn't a glimpse into your personal life:). All jokes aside no it would not be ok especially if you had sexual relations with your spouse again. Because in Jehovah's eyes that would show that you have forgiven your spouse even if you have contempt toward them.
To answer your second question adultery is the only scriptural ground for divorce. But you can separate from that one forever. But until that mate commited adultery you still are together in Jehovah's eyes. There is a sister in my congregation who's going thru that very thing. Her husband was abusive, so they separated and they've been separated for going on ten years now. But because she has no physical proof that her husband has been unfaithful she remains single. Hope this helped:)
2007-09-13 06:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The only scriptural grounds for divorce is adultery. If its a case where the guilty party was forgiven, then no, you can't forgive and then change you mind.
That's why the elders council both parties on the matter and help them to understand that whatever decision they make they a fully aware of the after effect.
We should realize that the Bible doesn't teach everything and as much as it is "beneficial for teaching and setting things straight", it also teaches that at the ending of the day only you are accountable to Jehovah for what you do.
Christians should realize that as much as we have our faith and beliefs we should realize that we are human also, and we should learn how to be balanced about what we believe and what we know is humanly right.
So if a woman is married to an abusive husband, even thought it's not a scriptural reason to divorce, she should do what she thinks is best for her. In my opinion if my husband is abusive to me I would get a divorce despite what the Bible teaches. I don't believe that Jehovah- a God of love, would want me to live like that.
2007-09-13 05:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
That's one for me to ask an Elder. But off hand, I would say if the spouse forgave the other for committing adultery then there would not be any taking it back. Say in a heated argument. If a year later someone wanted a divorce then I would say that doesn't come into play. I will ask an Elder at the meeting tonight.
To my understanding, no. We can divorce but can only remarry if the grounds for the divorce was adultery or the X-spouse has committed adultery after the divorce. If one gets a divorce without the grounds being adul. then they are still married in Jehovah's eyes. Adultery has to come into play at some point. I may be wrong here but that's my understanding of it. This I will also ask an Elder tonight.
2007-09-13 05:58:43 · answer #4 · answered by Suzy 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There are NO scriptural grounds for divorce between covenant spouses.
When two people who have never married before get married, they make covenant vows with God. It is for life. God does not allow divorce, period. (The exception clause of adultery in Matthew is a translation error from Greek to English. Correct word is fornication and refers to Jewish espousal period).
The bible specifically says that remarriage is adultery. God does not recognize the 2nd marriage. Even if the covenant couple is divorced and have remarried other people, God only recognizes the first marriage, despite what the divorce papers say.
See links below for detailed explanation.
2007-09-13 07:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No and no.
Jehovah's Witnesses believe the bible to teach that divorce is allowed for a spouse who is the victim of adultery. Once the innocent mate learns of the sin, she (or he) can decide whether to divorce or that she will forgive the sin against her, granting forgiveness explicitly (such as by resuming marital relations) or implicitly (such as by the passage of several months).
One cannot rescind forgiveness; the idea is entirely contrary to the Scriptures.
While the Scriptures only authorize marital separation and divorce for adultery, separating or divorcing for any reason is never considered a "serious sin" (in itself) such as could result in formal "reproof" or "disfellowshipping" by Jehovah's Witnesses. As a religion, the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses tolerates legal separation and divorce for nonsupport, abuse, and spiritual endangerment (see The Watchtower of November 1, 1988, pages 22,23).
Such a mere "legal divorce" would not constitute the grounds Jesus noted to allow re-marriage.
(Matthew 5:32) Everyone divorcing his wife, except on account of fornication, makes her a subject for adultery [since she is still biblically "married"], and whoever marries a [merely legally] divorced woman commits adultery.
Learn more:
http://www.watchtower.org/e/19990422/box_05.htm
2007-09-13 07:08:46 · answer #6 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Nads, and abuse comes in different ways. I would divorce to the point of "beyond what I can take." God did say he would not put any one to a test "beyond what they can take." So that is where I stand on any behaviour from anyone that chooses to be against me. Forgiveness is one thing, but to allow a person to carry on abusing you makes it that you are abusing yourself and that also is not God Approval.
O.K. so if one marries in a church that is considered a False Religion, does that marriage still hold in the marriage laws of the Bible?
O.K. Unsilenced Lamb I hear ya. I thought maybe it didn't count because then the marriage would be under false pre-tense from the preacher.
2007-09-13 13:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by Debs 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, once you have relations with the erring spouse, it is seen as forgiveness,and you can not cry foul afterward.
Had this happen in my first marriage and the elders said that I if spent the night with my husband, that I could not go back and divorce him, I no longer had grounds.
EDit: Unless it was angry Sex...LOL just a little post Witness humor.
Lamb..Marriage is marriage..it is a covenent with God, but if you get Baptized as a Witness, the Baptism doesn't count.
Paul S. I will pray that you and your wife see the real truth and seak Grace through Jesus, and not the WBTS.
2007-09-13 15:38:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Are you a Jehovahs Witness? If so, you should ask someone in the congregation. If not, you should seek advice from someone that can go and show you with your own Bible. It will bring you better understanding and it's not going to just be someone sending you an answer online with their thought or what they understood. Someone can go to your home or you can probably contact a Kingdom Hall locally and they will gladly meet with you in regards to any questions you might have.
Jehovahs Witness is not a false doctrine, Qcumber you might want to do some research before you say something like that.
2007-09-13 04:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by why ask 3 · 4⤊ 4⤋
my mom and dad were JW's, and my dad cheated and divorce happend right away.
CHEATING is wrong no matter what religion you are. Why on earth woudl someone cheat is beyond me, unless he a wife beater.
2007-09-13 04:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋