I have tried to explain how important it is to me but obviously it is not to him. I am always the initiator and I've tried many different strategies to get him in the "mood". I don't know what else to do.
2007-09-13 03:48:14 · 9 answers · asked by Jess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have left out some serious information here, and without that, I will have to give you a general answer.
You do not say how old you are, how old he is, or how long that you have been married. Do you have children? Seeing as when you posted your question, you used what seems to be texting shorthand, I am going to assume that you are younger, rather than older!
When a woman says she "wants to talk about the relationship" all guys know what that really means. She wants to tell him what he is doing wrong and what he needs to change!
Sex is not something you can explain. People react differently to different stimuli. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but you will not be able to make him change!
Does he work? Is he working long hours? Is his job stressful? Are you folks having money problems? All these things can affect a man.
I am going to assume that you have not been married all that long (under 5 years). When you get married, your life changes drastically. You take on more responsiblities, and your normal routine changes! When he was single, he would get off work and have some time to relax and "de-stress" when he got home. Now when he gets home, he has to go directly from "worker" to "husband".
No matter how much he loves you, he still needs time to himself to relax and regroup!
You are looking at the lack of interest as a reflection of you. You say that you "have tried to explain how important it is to me but obviously it is not to him" In other words, you have told him that he is a failure! All this does is add more stress to him.
He goes to work, most lkely to a job that he does not love, and deals with people all day add stess to his life. He then comes home (most likely dealing with traffic if he drives, or a crowded bus or train if he takes mass transit) and has "good husband" chores. Then after a stress filled and tiring day, you want him to be interested in sex. When you put pressure on him, sex becomes another chore, just like washing dishes and taking out the trash!
Try something different. Rather than focusing on sex, focus on relaxing! No man in his right mind will turn down a backrub. It is relaxing and is a way that he can accept pleasure without pressure! Do not expect it to lead to sex right away, although it may!
What you want ot do is allow him to relax and not feel the stress! He may fall asleep, and if he does, he will sleep better and be more rested the next day. When he has less stress and is more relaxed, I bet you find your love life is better
2007-09-13 05:04:33 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A clue is to your query / assertion > He is on anti-depressants that have reasonably suppressed his wish < If there are any issues along with his Blood Pressure, that may be a intent too. However, you do not state a while of both of you, so it is just guesswork right here. It wold be a well thought for a speak together with your loved ones Doctor. On a private word. I had a female friend who was once whatever like being to your boat (the difference of a drug regime), and for my part, ''It was once bloody frightening'' ~ all that rampant feminine flesh and hormones able to fireside off at a moments realize. She might have taken on a soccer crew, and THEN were able for me little ol' me. Sash.
2016-09-05 12:41:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, I could ask the same about my wife! I want it every day and would be fine with 2 or 3 times a week. My wife tries her best to "do it" a couple of times a month! ! !
Yes we communicate and I let her know my needs but she just says "I am not in the mood" and "my drive is just low"
Why don't we switch spouses?
(just kidding) (maybe)
HEY, answer if you want or not! but how old are you two and has it always been this way?
2007-09-13 04:07:04 · answer #3 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh my goodness girl, when you figure out the secret, LET ME KNOW!!! lol.
My husband and I have had SOOOOOOO many conversations about how I don't feel we are intimate enough. Usually after 'the talk' he is all over me for about 3-4 days.....then it goes right back to once a week....
We used to get in little arguments about it every week. I wouldn't call it really arguing, just me instigating a disagreement because I've learned that when he thinks I'm mad he'll do what I want, lol.
Finally I've realized it's just not worth it. I'm tired of initiating it ALL the time....and he doesn't seem to understand it causes me to feel REALLY unnattractive when my HUSBAND doesn't want to do me!!
I've honestly run out of ideas, I too have tried EVERYTHING........so yes, SOMEONE please help BOTH of us!!! lol
2007-09-13 03:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by jezyka 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Keep talking and keep trying. It sound like you married the wrong man! My wife is just like your hubby, never wants sex. I keep asking and it's getting old. I try everything but it just don't work. Maybe you and I should help each other out!! ;) JK keep talking and keep trying, get him drunk or buy him some pills!!
Good luck!
2007-09-13 05:47:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Viagra.
Now it's true that viagra does create sexual desire, but when you have a ***** that won't go away, it's hard not to put it to good use.
edit: ***** is a naughty word? We're all adults here aren't we?
2007-09-13 03:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hear you!! Where has all the real men gone these days
2007-09-13 04:00:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
we are probably soul mates
2007-09-13 03:55:07 · answer #8 · answered by amayseng 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ill be your huggy bear Pimp............
2007-09-13 04:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋