My husband and have a great relationship except for in one aspect, his family. His sister is my age and is constantly being negative toward and saying things like I'm a little 'chunky' and that so-and-so doesn't look good on me. I'm an attractive 24 year old woman with an hourglass figure (36D:40-30-40) and my husband loves it. His sister on the other hand is about 100lbs soaking wet and flat-chested and slim-hipped. But every time I mention that his sister said something hurtful he always just says she's 'always been that way' and that I should just accept that. I've told her I don't appreciate her sniping comments and she just laughs it off and says she's 'joking.' Should I just take this sort of abuse from this woman or am I right in thinking that my husband needs to tell his sister that it being being nasty to his wife won't be tolerated?
2007-09-13 03:15:35 · 17 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before I get too many m ore answers, I should tell you that I HAVE told her that she needs to keep her opinions to herself but it doesn't seem to be sinking in!
2007-09-13 03:25:10 · update #1
Have you considered the possibility that his sister may be jealous of you? You didn't mention what her love life is, but I can guess that she does not have a stable loving relationship like you do with your husband, and maybe the only man she's had a decent connection with IS your husband. But fear not, sister, theres a reason why he put a ring on your finger. She may be his sister, but he loves you and chose to spend the rest of his life with you. So remember that next time she is making her sniping comments. Hold your head high, and don't let it get to you. Once she realizes that she doesn't have an audience, she will have little motivation to continue her snarkiness. For the family's sake (including your future children) try to accept (or at least tolerate) her the best you can. It will be worth it in the long run.
2007-09-13 03:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by chillgirl76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can tell her not to insult you. He can't control her. What matters is you like the way you look. She is apparently self centered and shallow. No mater what your husband says, that will never change. Don't be mad at him for his sisters behavior. He didn't make her that way.
If you have told her to keep her opinions to herself and she still does it, why do you think she will listen to your husband? She knows it offends you, so that is probably part of the reason she does it. All you can do is be the bigger person and ignore it. Don't let it bother you. A person can only get under your skin if you let them. The only power she has over you is the power you are giving her. If you are going to be mad, be mad at her, not your husband.
If he tells her to stop, and she doesn't, then what? Is he going to have to cut her out of his life? It's his sister. She's a pain in the ***. Just write her off as his pain in the *** sister and ignore her.
2007-09-13 03:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He ignored her. He let her know no matter what she says - he doesn't care. He did defend you by ignoring her. The best way to handle it. If he would have commented to her - she would have got a reaction out of him - which is exactly what she wanted. To continue the fight. If your sister in law is friends with this person -there isn't much you can do but ignore her, just like he did. He didn't tell you because it meant nothing to him and he didn't want to get a reaction out of you - which is exactly what she was hoping for. Now the ex - has gotten exactly what she was hoping for - now you have to be the bigger person and let it go
2016-05-18 05:46:22 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should your husband tell her? You should be the one to tell her exactly how you feel about her comments and that you will no longer tolerate them. Be direct. Don't wait for your husband to tell her to stop!!
Since you just stated that you have already told her to stop, wait until she does it again and make it clear that she will be seeing less of you if she continues. Remove yourself from the situation.
2007-09-13 03:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to stick up for you. The "that's just the way she is" excuse doesn't make it right. For now, keep your distance from her, and when your husband asks why, tell him cause he can't be man enough to stick up for his wife.
2007-09-13 03:22:38 · answer #5 · answered by ron-D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell her again the next time she does it that you don't appreciate it. When she says she's joking, answer her with a straight face, "In order to qualify as a joke, it would have to be funny. It's not."
2007-09-13 03:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he must stand up for you. He doesn't have to start world war three just tell her to stop saying hurtful things to his wife. If she tells you she was just kidding again tell her she isn't funny and should give up the act...
2007-09-13 03:26:38 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Private Facebook friends?
2016-10-26 11:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by Ailee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say something to husband.
But just remember one thing; she's jealous of you and that's whay she does it.
2007-09-13 03:23:53 · answer #9 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
similar situation w/ my husband and my brother... my brother is not allowed over now because of it =) my brother is a jerk... fine, he can be a jerk on his own time... but, not here, so, he's not allowed over, lol! your husband needs to tell her to watch her tongue or she will not be allowed over to your house anymore =) that is what I did to my brother... hubby's feelings are more important than my brother's... forsaking all others was the vow, remind him of this... good luck! =)
2007-09-13 03:31:27 · answer #10 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋