My wife works for a large company and she is the only woman in her department. Her friends are mostly men... Lately she seems to have become very protective of one of them and I do not like it at all. I am convinced he is just waiting for the chance to get in her pants. I happen to know one guy my wife works with and have befriended him so that, without letting him in on my secret thoughts, am using him knowing that he would spill it out if something went on between my wife and this other guy. Eventually this guy's name did come up during conversation and I then asked my friend to invite this guy to come along for a drink. Neither of them know who I am married to. We went out the three of us and there he started spilling his guts about how he had a crush on this hot woman at his workplace, and how he intends to bone her. He even went as far as saying, among other things, that by the look of things, she has the hots for him and is asking for it. I am now unsure how to tackle this.
2007-09-13 03:03:29 · 13 answers · asked by Rick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have tackled him right there. Anyway, I would buy her a large flower arrangement walk into her work (knowing when he will be there.) Right in front of him and god. Plant a big kiss on her and tell her you love her and want to take her to dinner.....I think the guy would back off...Don't you?
2007-09-13 03:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you should never have done such a dishonest thing in the first place.
Now, fair enough you have the information you wanted and proof to put in front of your wife.
So, do just that. Don't go and boast about it, but just tell her the plain truth.
She's bound to be mad at you, and even if what this guy said about how she was feeling about it, it doesn't mean that she's in love with him; She probably finds him cute if he is, after all she's not blind and he's a pleasant thing to see in the office but what makes you think that she would have acted upon it.
Anyway, ok, you did what you thought you had to do to open your wife's eyes and hopefully avoid the end of your marriage.
Well...
Just tell her, and be ready for the sky to open up with thunders and lightnings.
But, well, at least you can be sure that nothing IS going to happen.
Now, is it something you intend to keep up? Spying on your wife? Careful. This is not exactly a healthy way to keep your marriage going.
Good luck.
2007-09-13 03:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sir, I feel for you. Good job, on your research. My wife works with lots of men too, and can't tell you exactly how I'd feel if I were in your shoes. it would not be good though.
A "Dude, you're talking about my wife!" may have worked in your advantage at the bar. Then you could have gone home and told your wife what happened. -but hey, its not too late.
One thing I'll say, is the guy is a beat-off. I work with lots of married women too, and out of respect for myself, my marraige, and their marraiges, and husbands I maintain completely respectful relationships, and interactions with them, and so do the other men I work with. Please know, and take some comfort knowing that not all men are going to be like the beat-off.
Whatever you do, stay cool, act with class, keep your dignity. And next time you line up a drink with the beat-off bring some of your large friends, let them know whats up, and just make a presence, and if he starts running at the mouth again, speak up.
Hopefully your wife is behaving herself at work. Bear in mind that, sexual harrassment suits can bring in nice sums. So talk to her, maybe the two of you can work together towards a huge pay day. Then you two can go some place tropical away from all this nonsense. Good luck bro.
2007-09-13 03:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by blujello 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do whatever it takes to avoid business trips with this co worker. There is no such thing as get it out of your system sex with someone you have such obvious chemistry with. You are already being unfaithful to your husband via your emotional affair with this co worker. You need to quit that job if that is what it takes. If you act on your desire to just give it a one time go you will ultimately lose self respect and possibly your husband as well. You say you don't want to stop working with him and would never give up your job. The sad thing is you put two very messed up priorities before your husband, whom you made a life long promise to love and cherish. Now you want to pursue adding partying and wonder how that will change the dynamics? You are in a serious state of denial at best, and working on killing your conscience so you can do whatever the hell you want. What you are doing now is very wrong and selfish, it can only get worse from there. If you want real honest advice, here it is. Stay away from that co worker, if there is such an attraction you may just pump up the volume. That is most likely what will happen. What do you think would come of a one nighter.. just "OK now its out of my system"? That is a very eronious assumtion. The most likely scenario here would be having to deal with the very hurtful emotions of violating your own consience and the trust of your husband. You will hurt yourself more than you could ever imagine weather your hubby ever finds out or not. You will know that you broke the bonds of trust and fidelity. Can you honestly feel OK and live with that. Your only 28, that leave you a lot more days of having to look at yourself in the mirror. If you really want to sleep with this man, you need to divorce your husband that you say you love and have no marital problems with. He doesn't deserve the pain it will cause him if he finds out, nor does he deserve an unfaithful partner, be it emotional or physical.
2016-05-18 05:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, she may be flirting with him some and so on, but that doesn't mean she is going to hop in the sack with him. Also, that guy is telling you the truth about how he feels about your wife, but you know that most of it is just "macho" talk. Be careful with your spying as well, because then if your wife finds out she will not trust you and say that you are checking up on her whether you feel like it is warranted or not. If you love her and trust her then just let it be. Fact of the matter is that if she wants to have sex with this guy then she is probably going to. Snooping around will either let you catch her at it, or it will cause mistrust. The choice is yours.
2007-09-13 07:27:41 · answer #5 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he say from the looks of things she has the hots for him too. Maybe it's all her fault I mean he's single she's the one that's married. How do you know that she's not leading him on.
2007-09-13 06:41:52 · answer #6 · answered by pbxgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to give you points for cleverness but WOW. I'm surprised you didn't jump the guy right there. But then again, how do you know your wife was the one he was talking about?
2007-09-13 03:21:19 · answer #7 · answered by Kitten 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife CALMLY!! As far as you doing what you are doing YOU ARE WRONG> And this guy is most likely running his mouth just for show. Big talk, little Di*k....that sort of thing. Trust your wife and see where that takes you.
2007-09-13 03:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by Brandi 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why didn't you tell him you were married to her? What you are doing is not going to go well with your wife. The guy is probably just reading what he wants to see in this relationship and your wife has no desire to cheat on you. Come clean with her and stop all this nonsense...
2007-09-13 03:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I wonder who many men in this world think a woman has the hots for him and is asking for it? In my opinion any man who says a woman is "asking for it" is a sleaze.
Its just a sh!tty term...Women aren't "asking for it". We don't ever ask for it until we feel comfortable with a particular person and even then many of us still don't "Ask for it."
2007-09-13 03:24:52 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋