Marriage & Divorce - 31 July 2007

We were seperated for 16 mos. 10 mos. ago, he moved back in. He sleeps on the couch, he is comfortable there. We initially seperated because things came up and there were some trust issues. He says he doesn't know why he can't sleep in the bed with me, he is comfortable on the couch. Today, I asked him about our sleeping arrangements and he acted like it may be this way indefinitely. He asked " what if I tell you it is going to be this way forever?" I replied that I would have to decide if I could live like this forever. His comment was " well, go ahead and decide because today is the day." I feel he needs to figure out what the issues are and lets work on them. We have been to 2 different counseling programs. Am I asking too much of my husband? We have been together for 16 years in December. Besides this we actually get along very good.

2007-07-31 12:37:04 · 18 answers · asked by afs16 1

Im really struggling with this decision. I love my fiance and I know he's the one for me and I definatly want a family with him. However, I just can't bring myself to change my name. The marriage feels totally right but changing my name feels wrong. I like his last name but I just don't think it would feel like "me". My name reflects my heritage and it's been my identity for 24 years. My fiancee would prefer that I take his name (mostly so I would have the same last name as our children) but he's okay with me keeping my maiden name if that's what I want. When people ask me what my "new name" will be and I say I'm considering keeping my maiden name, some people are horrified and act like its totally wrong and offensive. Would it be THAT bad to keep my maiden name? Anyone have any other solutions? Similar situations? (Hyphonating is not an option, both our names are long and it sounds silly).

2007-07-31 12:32:52 · 31 answers · asked by Sara 4

2007-07-31 12:31:02 · 10 answers · asked by returnofkarlos 2

From your personal standpoint and/or experience.

2007-07-31 12:03:45 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

my husband went to a mma fight, with his boss. afterwards he called me and told me he was going to go to his boss's house, they were having a party. i said cool i was going to stay home. but i decided to go out to my bar. okay i didn't have common courtesey(sp) to call him. i just told him i stayed home all night. so he calls me and asks me for a ride, 2am now. no prob i get there takes about a half hour, and his boss's wife says lets get del taco, i told her i'd drso i told her that i didn't stay home, idk, i thought girls had an unwritten code not to throw rat on eachother, so she tells him as soon as we get back. my husband gets livid, and we start arguing. he pushes me hard on the floor, in front of his boss. my *** still has a bruise on it. it isn't the first time, i've been pushed threw glass tables, he's damaged other parts of my body, he's socked me. okay just reading this and i'm getting mad, each time it's it won't happen again. so my q when is it enough

2007-07-31 11:58:14 · 43 answers · asked by confused 1

we been separate for 3 years,,sometimes we chat or talk by phone,i really love her,i suffer because i miss her and i cant get over her,i belive i can be with her again,but it would be nice to hear about your tips people!!.

2007-07-31 11:54:56 · 29 answers · asked by mickey z 1

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. During the first month and a half, he left for the summer, and we didn't talk at all. I cheated on him and had another boyfriend. When he came home, I broke up with the other guy and tried to get my bf back, and I did. It's been very hard, there was a lot of crying and pleading, but we made it. We live together as well. However, he still has his little bouts where he will see a text or a myspace message from any guy friend of mine, and he begins to lose all trust, no matter why they contacted me or what they said. What do I do? I know it's my fault, but what now, It's been a year since he came home, and I've never done anything to make him think I was cheating, I've been more than faithful. How else can I prove it?? He has my passwords and checks my phone at times too. That's why I'm in trouble now! I just want us to be happy and move on from my terrible mistake. I've never cheated in my life except then.

2007-07-31 11:53:11 · 9 answers · asked by britney487 3

2007-07-31 11:30:27 · 34 answers · asked by Kelvin 2

According to the bible there is no real reason for a divorce of my marriage, so in that case is it worth fighting for when my husband changes his mind over and over again. I love him and he loves me but we are not in the same mind frame right now, so should i leave or stay?

2007-07-31 11:28:14 · 9 answers · asked by alittle03 1

2007-07-31 11:20:20 · 19 answers · asked by automan42005 1

Located in Pennsylvania. Any professional answers appreciated and thank you.

2007-07-31 11:18:32 · 9 answers · asked by onecharliecat 4

2007-07-31 11:11:52 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

When I was 9(4 years ago) my parents got divorced...My dad still lives at my old house and I live with my mom and my sis in a small apartment. I love Ravenna...My home town...and miss my old life style and friends..My dad invited me to live with him but I dont no wat to do I mean I dont want to leave my friends here. My pets live with my dad and I miss them alot to. I still get to see my dad every other weekend. But when Im with my dad I miss my mom and when Im with my mom I mis my dad...Please help.. I would do anything to go back to before the divorce....

2007-07-31 10:59:31 · 15 answers · asked by Christian W 2

I found out he called her three times when I was out of town and talked to her for an hour each time. We were fighting because I wasn't interested in sex. I found out and he said he talked to her because he was complaining about me. I stormed out and he appologized and said they got along well. He said he would stop talking to her. When there was a busy signal at his work, I would call her store to see if there was a busy signal and keep calling till her line was no longer busy and call him....he got off at the same instant. One time I called him on it and he said he was talking to someone else but then admitted he was talking to her. Two months later he admitted she had feelings for him and he told her he couldn't talk to her as much. I know he still sometime talks to her. He lied to me after my son was born because he didn't want me to visit him at store they were remodeling because she was there. He said it would be awkward for me. what do you think?

2007-07-31 10:57:08 · 22 answers · asked by Kristie R 1

The last time he and I had a fight, he called me some pretty mean names. Even if he doesn't mean it, it's very disrespectful. How can I get him to understand that I will not tolerate that behavior. How do I punish him for it? Not speaking to him won't work since we must communicate about our new baby (ie. when did he last eat?) My feelings getting hurt isn't punishment enough because I "shouldn't be so upset." Help!

2007-07-31 10:55:38 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't know where to turn but here asking for some insights. I've married for nearly 5 years. During the marriage, he'd cheated on me once with a prostitute and several others with his online lovers. But everytime it happened, I've learned to forgive and hoped that he one day changed.Two months ago while visiting my mom, I caught him chatting again with females. His intention is more than being friends with them, I know this. I decided to leave and did that two months ago. he called me once in a while, but said he willl file for a divorce. Two weeks ago before he left for his 5 months deployment, I went to see him just b'cause I missed him too much. We talked things out and agreed upon many things, mostly to work our marriage. He left the next morning. Three days ago on the phone, he spoke so mean to me. I couldn't handle it, I said if he doesn't stop I'll hang up the phone. He said if I am the marriage is over. I was upset that he gave me the ultimate. I did hung up. He meant it

2007-07-31 10:51:24 · 27 answers · asked by Confused 1

We have been seperated for 4 months and I refused to sign her "uncontested divorce" papers that she printed on line. I want to find out if she has proceeded to file anyway.

2007-07-31 10:42:13 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband and i have been happily married 15 yrs..My best friend cant believe that we have never tried anal sex..She said her and her husband do it all the time and its great but i told her that we have no interested in that and she said we are weird cause most if not all couples have tried it...Is she right about that..I told her that i ask hubby 1 time if he ever wanted to try not that i did but i just ask casually and he said "no thats gross"

2007-07-31 10:36:15 · 33 answers · asked by emma v 1

White pant or black pants (especially in the summer)

2007-07-31 10:36:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am in love with a married man...I actually took me to his house when his wife was gone..we didnt do anything but talk...but i was so nervous and i felt so bad! We habve more of an emotional bond than a physical one...I know..it is bad and i feel terrible steooing foot into their home...how do i get over him?!! Should i tell his wife or will that make it worse?

2007-07-31 10:33:37 · 33 answers · asked by lovehim 1

2007-07-31 10:31:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

My ex fiance is now coming to my town every day. I broke things off due to the fact that we argued and he threw me into a fence and tried to throw me down. I have been the victim of assault years ago and couldn't get the look he had on his face at the time to go away. I simply can't forgive him.
He used to say that we had a long distance relationship-the reason he would hardly come to see me- I had to go to his town, which is only 12 miles away.
Now, he shows up here every other day and shows up at any place I go with my friends. He calls them and trys to find out what they are doing, though he avoids actually asking if I will be there.
The day after I took the ring back and told the store to call him to let him know I returned it to them (I didn't want to see him face to face) so that he wouldn't have to pay for it, he left me a voice mail on my cell phone that actually admitted what he had done. I have him saying: 'I wanted to beat your a#**, you need your a@#** beat!" help

2007-07-31 10:28:40 · 9 answers · asked by lissabeth 2

My friend called me the other day and told me that her husband has asked her for a divorce.They only got married in January.He told her the reason was that he doesn't love her anymore and that they are facing such a financial hardship that they can't get out of and he doesn't want to try.That very night that he asked her for a divorce he also told her that he bought a box of condoms because he thought it would make him feel better.Well,they aren't having sex and he's not staying at the apartment and neither is she.She went back to the apartment today to get somethings,the condoms aren't there and she found some items that don't belong to either of them.She decided to drive over to his work to see if he was there because he told her this morning that he was working all day,he wasn't there.I'm afraid she is obsessing and is carrying a false hope.I'm also afraid that she will find out that he is cheating and that she will loose it.He told my husbasnd last nite that he wasn't cheating

2007-07-31 10:12:35 · 24 answers · asked by Erika Schmitt 2

My husband claims I nag all the time and treat him like he's 2. Keep in mind, he has been gone in the police academy for 6 months. I have raised our 2 yo pretty much by myself due to his work-related long-term absences and his work schedule (works opposite hours I work and usually takes daughter to babysitter during the day so he can sleep, fine). The other day, we went to visit him in Chicago (we are moving as soon as I find a job). Leaving the hotel, some of my belongings (none of his) were in the room and we would have to make a second trip to get them. I asked if he had the room key, because I didn't. He said he was going to leave the door open to go to the car. I said no because my things were in the room. He got angry because I was "treating him like a 2 yo", correcting his decision that he said, "didn't effect" me. THEY WERE MY THINGS!!! HIS THINGS WEREN'T THERE TO GET STOLEN AND I WAS MAKING THE TRIP BACK UP TO GET THEM, SO WHY DOES HE CARE IF I LOCK THE DOOR OR NOT?!

2007-07-31 10:08:47 · 20 answers · asked by Lady in Red 4

my 1 year anniversary is Aug 31, I need ideas of something to get him, we don;t have much money and i got him an expensive watch yrs ago and he never wore it so that idea is out.... we didn't have a wedding ceremony so i can't put a photo album together of anything.....

2007-07-31 10:06:12 · 9 answers · asked by Life*goes*on 3

It has become kind of accepted. If you have worked hard and made some money and you can afford to pay the current wife her court ordered wages and still have enough left to attract a 25 to 30 year old hot trophy wife, why shouldn’t you. What are peoples thoughts on this trend.

2007-07-31 09:43:20 · 45 answers · asked by Brian 5

I believe I know the answer, but I think there are more people staying in the marriage for the kids in hopes that the marriage will improve then ones who got out....

Im at the end of my rope and Im deciding how long I should keep putting forth the effort...

Im looking for people who stayed for the sake of the kids and i would like to know if it got better and how long did it take, or if nothing got better and youre still working on improving the marriage, and how long you been doing it for? Any advice is welcomed

2007-07-31 09:24:30 · 21 answers · asked by Mergler 4

My husband became so angry when we drove by a fire station with a ton of firemen outside and he yelled that I was checking out all the men, and we would never drive by there again. I wasn't "checking them out" in the least. Today, he looked twice at a girl as we were driving by her in her short shorts, and then looked in his rear view mirror. When I reminded him of how he yelled at me about the firemen which I hadn't been looking at, he told me he wasn't looking at her. Then he admitted he had been. Then he changed it again to he wasn't. Why is it that the answer always seems to be it's just what men do? I truly wasn't checking out these men, he admitted he was checking her out. Why is it okay for him? I guess it's okay for me too? I'm not interested though. What's the difference between men and women that make men do a triple take, and it's okay because "that's what guys do?" It's not okay for me to look at firemen he says, but okay for him to check out anyone else. Ugh.

2007-07-31 09:12:35 · 44 answers · asked by Artemis L 1

Just curious on other people's thoughts. Explain, if possible.

2007-07-31 09:11:17 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-07-31 08:57:28 · 36 answers · asked by Baby Jessica 2