grounds for divorce?

Question

my husband went to a mma fight, with his boss. afterwards he called me and told me he was going to go to his boss's house, they were having a party. i said cool i was going to stay home. but i decided to go out to my bar. okay i didn't have common courtesey(sp) to call him. i just told him i stayed home all night. so he calls me and asks me for a ride, 2am now. no prob i get there takes about a half hour, and his boss's wife says lets get del taco, i told her i'd drso i told her that i didn't stay home, idk, i thought girls had an unwritten code not to throw rat on eachother, so she tells him as soon as we get back. my husband gets livid, and we start arguing. he pushes me hard on the floor, in front of his boss. my *** still has a bruise on it. it isn't the first time, i've been pushed threw glass tables, he's damaged other parts of my body, he's socked me. okay just reading this and i'm getting mad, each time it's it won't happen again. so my q when is it enough

i'll be the first to admit i shouldn't have lied. that was stupid. but i still don't think that warranted raising a hand at me, esp in front of his boss. i know what i have to do, i'm just trying to get myself to admit that my marriage failed. that's the hard part.

Answer 1

IT IS ALREADY ENOUGH!
Get out of there ASAP.

Answer 2

It's enough when you decide it's enough. If it was the first time, and he apologized for it, probably you could let it go. But if it's something thats going on, you have a right to decide this is enough.

You should have told him you went out, but if you really didn't do anything there other than have a drink and talk with some friends, you should just argue, it was no ground to a phisical assault (I don't know what justify a guy hitting a woman just because he got angry).

Answer 3

You're in trouble my friend and you will always be if you stay with this hot headed control sissy! Think about it, would you let someone else beat you up without pressing assault charges? I won't even recommend counsel since he's obviously already out of control to do this in front of his boss! If these two people said nothing, showed no compassion towards you during this event, and your husband still has his job well hey, he just got the stamp of approval didn't he? Make a plan to leave and do it! Your future is full of trouble with this man. Be strong!

Answer 4

Youve stayed way beyond the point when enough really became enough in a physically abusive relationship. Most women only give one chance and then thats it. Obvisiously his word is no good and whats going to happen next time if there is a next time you can tell about. This guy is not the one for you so now is the time to move on and get a protective restraining order against him if needbe, contact a localwomans hep group to help you get out if youre too afraid of him but either way get out and as far away from him as possible. Good luck

Answer 5

Uh for me the FIRST time would be the last.

Obviously you lied because you were trying to avoid a beating. Healthy couples should not have to lie to each other about their goings on....what would have happened if you got into a car accident or something and he had no idea where you were?

Save that beer money for an attorney. Trust me, the finality of the divorce will be like the first beer you have had in twenty years....

Answer 6

Sounds like you two were not ready for marriage in the first place! Its hard enough work for those who are in the right frame of mind. Is his abuse strong grounds for divorce? Uh, yeah. Id say so! But is it Okay for you to lie to him? Definately not. If you aren't guilty of anything why are you lying? This is all bad from so many angles! If you aren't telling him things because you are scared of him, why are you sticking around?


But... In my experience it does not matter what anyone says to you, not in person, and not on here. EVERY woman I have ever talked to who has gotten themselves into these sort of abusive relationships has done it repeatedly. They talk about it all the time looking for advice and/or pity but NEVER listen, and never seem to learn. If you are going to stay in that situation, just remember you are the fool, not just the man who abuses you. And if you stay, we do pity you.

Be a strong woman. Live and learn.

Answer 7

First off, it's never ok for anyone in a relationship to hurt the other one. Your relationship was over a long time ago according to your post. All that is left is the paperwork.

Secondly, you did lie to him. Lying is also never good for a relationship. You expecting the bosses wife to not say anything was a strech. you knew she would, and I think you kinda wanted her to. It made it easier on you.

The problem here is not that you went out without telling him, thats your business and your a grown adult. The porblem is that you lied about it.

The HUGE issue here is that he hits you. Thats never ok, and you sound like your in a bit of denial. Get help. Get out. Move on.

Answer 8

You will leave when the pain of staying is more than the pain of leaving.

You are dealing with physical abuse from a person most likely larger than you who can cause serious damage or death if they choose to do so.

Imagine if a close dear friend of yours was telling you what you told "us". What advice would you offer her? And how is that advice any different than the advice you should be taking now?

Answer 9

I dont know if i believe what you wrote b/c all you did is go to the bar and told the boss wife that you went to the bar and he hit you in front of them ,bit i believe you should get out of the relationship b/c he put his hand on you ,but it more that you not telling about

Answer 10

Call the police and report it now. It's not too late to file a report. Cite his boss and the wife as having witnessed it. Ask the police how to get an order for protection. Get one ASAP and wait until they serve it him (it may take several hours). Then go home and pack your things (or his if you can make the rent/mortgage payments yourself) And Voila! it's over.

Answer 11

It depends where you live, cause in Saudi Arabia a man has every right to beat the crap out of you and you should be thankful if doesn't ,but if you live in a country where women are considered human then I think physical abuse should be a good enough cause for divorce, unless of course you want your kids to grow up in an environment that would be fit for writing popular rap songs about shitty childhood and abuse.