If two people are mature enough, is marriage at a young age possible?

Question

Just curious on other people's thoughts. Explain, if possible.

Answer 1

I know a couple who have been married almost 20 years (and they're just 40). They were high-school sweethearts. They were married through college and both getting PhD's and are now college professors with 2 kids.

However, I know countless others who are divorced. They didn't necessarily marry "young," but all before the age of 25. (One of them is my husband.) More of our friends are on their 2nd marriages than their first, to be honest.

I don't care HOW mature you are. That's not the issue. You could both enjoy Bingo and knitting and playing horseshoes with the grandparents more than anything in the world. Maybe you both have a great savings plan and 401Ks and Roth IRAs and everything else. The point is, you are still YOUNG. You will both CHANGE as you get older. You plan on having more experiences, yes? College, careers, maybe moving to new locales. You will change. It's a given. It's a sad, sad person who is the same at 30 as he was at 18.

From a practical standpoint, you might not change the same way. Maybe you will, but there's a good chance you won't. You wake up 5 years later and look at this person you're married to and realize that if you were just meeting them, you'd never marry them!

Add kids to the mix... man. Kids add an enormous stress on a marriage and make everything you want to do 10 times harder. If you have kids before you're done with school, it's so much harder. I'm just now starting law school with a 5-year-old, and I'd give anything to have been smart and done this BEFORE she was born.

If you love each other, great! Have faith that you don't need a piece of paper legally binding you to stay together. Don't be that insecure. Then, when you've both got Life sorted out and headed in the direction you want it to go (and if you find both of your Lives are headed to the same place), THEN you get married. Don't make this harder than it needs to be.

Answer 2

It's possible, however I don't think it's the age that is the concern for the stability of the relationship, but the experience.

Love and partnership have different needs when your young, and different needs when your older. It seems to me that when a person have more experience and has dated a few different people they appreciate when they find a person that matches their personality more.

Sometimes if you get married early, and in time if things get rough, one person might wonder what it would be like with someone else, would it be easier, more romantic etc. This is where experience can come into play. A person might not be tempted to cheat if they have had some bad experiences with previous people. Or you might realize it will pass because you've been there before.

I was in a serious relationship when I was 16 and thought about marriage. However It turned out that I did love the girl, but it was my first love and not something was for long term, for raising children, buying houses, sharing a bank account with etc. Think about your first car, and how much you loved it. But how would you know if a Ford is the perfect car for you if you never been in a Honda, Toyota, or Chevy.

I also found that the things I learned in my previous relationships made me a more confident and better husband when I got married.

I would suggest taking time, if you destined to get married and spend the rest of your life together, you can hold out a few years to make sure your compatible when you become adults.

Answer 3

I don't think that anybody is really mature enough to get married at a young age. At 18 or 19 you think you know it all and you soon find out that you don't. I got married at 18 because I was "so in love" and thought I knew what a marriage was all about. Well I was divorced within a few years and learned my lesson the hard way. Don't get me wrong now there are people out there who get married young and make it work (my parents married at 20 and are still happily togther nearly 35 years later). I just think that if you're mature enough to think yourself ready for marriage then you're mature enough to know that there's a whole world out there and there's no reason to rush into anything.

Answer 4

I have seen many mature kids but it depends on what kind of maturity they have. Most that I know do not have the maturity to understand that marriage is really really difficult. You have to give a lot to make it work. Most think that if they have the money and the love, then everything is ok. But they are in for rude surprises. I agree with some here saying that if they are truly mature, they will know/better sense to wait til they are of age. Preferably in their mid 20s or older. Most men in my family that have good marriages, get married at 30 and the women between 25-35. Better marriages and a lot more stable.

Answer 5

Possible, but not very likely. For every couple who got married early and r happy you will find 10 that are not.
Chances of things going wrong are much higher when you get married young. There will be a lot of frustration on both sides when you start feeling the restrictions that marriage will impose on you. There's just no rush to allow so much restriction to come in to your lives at a young age.
And if you get married and have kids early on, you can forget about life, period. You are almost guaranteed misery.

Answer 6

If two people are mature enough,then they should realize that marriage at a young age is not wise.You have to experience life in order to realize what you want out of life and what you have to offer the world.Age and experience can make you realize that you are capable of succeeding in endeavors that you never thought possible .Take your time ,get a direction in your life before getting married.

Answer 7

Maturity is not the only factor, at any age, that keep a relationship strong and functional. You need patience, tolerance, compassion, humor, understanding, wit, stamina, consideration, empathy, sympathy, and a host of other traits that are independent of mere maturity to really make a go of it. I have known 'mature' couples that have failed miserably in their relationships. By the same token I have known 'immature' young kids that have triumphed in their relationships. All in all there are myriad factors to consider and develop when pairing up.

Answer 8

The problem is that when you are really young you don't even know yourself very much and have years of change and growth ahead of you as does your partner so the chances of you being the same people even 5 yrs later are pretty slim.
There are exceptions but the chances are the marriage will not survive.

Answer 9

Heres the thing we are mature only up to are age past that is not poss-because we havent lived that part. Take your time enjoy being young you can commit to someone at young age they did it all the time back in the day,most of those marriges lasted where as now they dont last past a monkey @@@ most the time. What is your age,calrify young!!

Answer 10

Young people aren't mature enough for the responsibilities of marriage.