My husband became so angry when we drove by a fire station with a ton of firemen outside and he yelled that I was checking out all the men, and we would never drive by there again. I wasn't "checking them out" in the least. Today, he looked twice at a girl as we were driving by her in her short shorts, and then looked in his rear view mirror. When I reminded him of how he yelled at me about the firemen which I hadn't been looking at, he told me he wasn't looking at her. Then he admitted he had been. Then he changed it again to he wasn't. Why is it that the answer always seems to be it's just what men do? I truly wasn't checking out these men, he admitted he was checking her out. Why is it okay for him? I guess it's okay for me too? I'm not interested though. What's the difference between men and women that make men do a triple take, and it's okay because "that's what guys do?" It's not okay for me to look at firemen he says, but okay for him to check out anyone else. Ugh.
2007-07-31 09:12:35 · 44 answers · asked by Artemis L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like he needs to grow up
2007-07-31 09:14:59 · answer #1 · answered by Shrimpboat 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Well, he doesn't sound fair now, does he? Sounds on the line of control freak if you ask me. Are you not supposed to look at men ever, even if you are just checking out a fire station, because maybe you are wondering what all the firemen are all doing outside.? I guess you are not supposed to look at a male cashier or the postman either! Men will look, but he's being rude by doing triple takes on you. Ever heard, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander?" He' being ridiculous.
2007-07-31 09:20:50 · answer #2 · answered by Kate J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't anything more than a jealous insecure man at his worst. You will now feel stressed everytime you two are out and about. This is the stupidest argument that he has started. I am a firemen and and we have people stop by all day long. I never saw a husband react this way. He has opened a can of worms--is this the first time?? God, what a waste of time saying this stuff. Sorry your man has done this--not all men do it !! Try to forget it--look where you want to--the eyes are yours and they can look anywhere you want them to. Maybe refuse to ride with him anywhere again---or bring a bag and put it over your head--as a silly way to show him how this made you feel. I wish you luck
2007-07-31 09:21:28 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is so simple that most people miss it. Women will say that all men are dogs, guys will say that is just what guys do or it is harmless looking...
The simple truth is this: Your husband knows that when he looks at a woman he thinks is hot, he knows he has almost zero chances of ever hooking up with her, so it should be no threat to you. (He will never admit this, but it is true). You on the other hand, he knows that when you look at another guy, you can have almost any guy you want and he knows this, so he perceives it as a threat to him. He gets mad because he knows you can get the firemen and he also knows he can not get short shorts...
Pretty simple, huh?
2007-07-31 09:39:06 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about your husband (but I can guess), but here's a situation I was in that was similar.
This guy was SUPER jealous if I went out with my friends (and I quote: "The only reason people go to bars is to pick other people up."). He was extremely insecure. I later find out, he cheated on me! He figured, if he could do it, I was probably thinking the same way!
So, honey, I'd be very wary of an over-jealous man (regardless if he's checking out other women or not, but that is a sign, in my opinion).
My husband now never checks out other women (or if he does, he's so sly that I don't notice, which is fine :), and he isn't threatened at all if I make comments about men. My friends and I went to see a male strip show in Vegas and he just laughed and shook his head.
2007-07-31 09:19:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
properly, thank you for explaining this thoroughly. talk to her head to head, I as a male have faith the two husband and spouse could desire to make judgements. i do no longer see why he's taking this into his own palms. i discover that complete crap, have a extreme converstation with him and if she refuses to depart call the enforcement, this is not proper in the adventure that your husband is of a similar opinion to her being there, From what i understand you're a married woman with young toddlers. Get that b*tch out of the living house, some women human beings are loopy now a days. All i will say is, shield your marriage and attempt to speak to him additionally and positioned him on your shoes by using explaining that IF it replaced into you with yet another guy as a "pal" and if he admitted to all of that, that i'm effective he'd be pissed off extra beneficial than you seeing because of the fact the male gender is extremely dominant. sturdy luck woman! carry your floor do no longer consent!
2016-12-11 06:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've come to the conclusion that somewhere between their looking and seeing the comparison as the same when you look, Testosterone clogs their brains and the message doesn't get through. You will find that this hormone in men clogs their brains a lot. It is a wonder that they are able to function at all sometimes. I have been married for 30 years to a wonderful man but he also at times suffers from this clogging problem. I go a head and look. I like a nice bod as much as he does. He just has to accept that just as he expects me to accept his "looking". I say fine as long as it is only looking.
2007-07-31 09:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by Praire Crone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's insecure. My husband does the same thing. I always remind him, "It takes two to tango and if you don't trust me, then maybe we need to talk about that." That's when he usually admits it's an insecurity and that he was wrong to have the double standard. Women look, too. We're not dead, after all. Just because we look doesn't mean we're going to cheat either. So use on him, "It's just what women do" and see how he likes the fit of that shoe.
2007-07-31 09:22:56 · answer #8 · answered by swordarkeereon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This has got to be the most asked question on Yahoo Answers. The funny thing is that I know I give the right answer, yet I always get trashed for it.
It is human nature. Think about it. For millions of years mens primal urge was to hunt for women to reproduce. There was no marriage, no monogamy, no cheating. Men hunted. It was to the benfit of the species to spread our seed as far as possible. We don't need to wait 9 months to do it again. Women on the other hand can only mate (without birthcontrol we are talking millions of years here not this century) every 9 months at best. During that 9 months they prepare for the baby. It's human nature for men to hunt and women to nest.
Okay, so enter the modern era. Men don't need to hunt, but we are still expected to initiate contact between men and women. Men are still expected to be the agressors. We look and look and look at women to find a mate. Women sit and wait to be noticed. (Go to any bar or social gathering). You may not like it but you know it is true.
Now, somehow when a man becomes committed to a woman, at totally unnatural state for men based on millions of years of programming, we are expect to stop everything in our nature and become like the female.
If women would accept men for what they are, give them something to look at, let them look (don't touch), stop hen pecking them, they would not feel so guilty and everyone would be happy.
Should women be able to look. Sure. Men who don't like it are insecure loosers.
Bottom line is, yes it is what guys do.
2007-07-31 09:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by javelin 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Men get mad because they think about sex when they look at hot women, but they won't admit it because they think we are dumb enough to believe them when they say they were "just looking". They assume women think about sex, too, everytime we see attractive men which, really, most of us don't notice near as much as men notice women. What's funny is, though, that they get so mad when we get a kick out of guys looking at us! I always say, "honey, he's just looking" and give him a wink. Men never think with the "if the shoe were on the other foot" mindset, they only think about "being a guy". It sometimes hurts when our guy is always checking out other women, why can't we get attention elsewhere if they are able to give attention elsewhere? A double-standard that I don't tolerate well.
2007-07-31 09:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a guy thing, he thinks since you married the "man of your dreams" that you don't need to look at another man. He forgot that you are still a WOMAN and women still "look" at other men. When we do "glance" at other men we don't have to fantasize about what they would kiss like or if they would be good in bed. No matter what your explanation is - you would still be wrong. And for some reason men need to "look" at other women because they need to reassure themselves about whatever reason they have floating around in their minds.
Bottom line is your husband does need to grow up and remember that he should only have eyes for you.
2007-07-31 09:24:32 · answer #11 · answered by jbknative 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋