I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. During the first month and a half, he left for the summer, and we didn't talk at all. I cheated on him and had another boyfriend. When he came home, I broke up with the other guy and tried to get my bf back, and I did. It's been very hard, there was a lot of crying and pleading, but we made it. We live together as well. However, he still has his little bouts where he will see a text or a myspace message from any guy friend of mine, and he begins to lose all trust, no matter why they contacted me or what they said. What do I do? I know it's my fault, but what now, It's been a year since he came home, and I've never done anything to make him think I was cheating, I've been more than faithful. How else can I prove it?? He has my passwords and checks my phone at times too. That's why I'm in trouble now! I just want us to be happy and move on from my terrible mistake. I've never cheated in my life except then.
2007-07-31 11:53:11 · 9 answers · asked by britney487 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay look, I am not a cheater. I never have been. I just met him, we just started dating, and then he went out of town and we couldn't even talk! Do you realize how hard it is to build a foundation for a relationship within a month and a half? You're going to tell me there's no hope? I know there is. We love each other very much, and when we make more money, we are going to get married. I made a mistake, I'm not perfect, I didn't ask if there was hope left, I asked what else can I do to make him trust me. I will never make the decision to cheat again. It was a terrible experience. And I will not go through it again.
2007-07-31 12:00:19 · update #1
you guys are pretty harsh. I have been cheated on before,I dated a guy for 3 years who cheated on me 8 times. That is too much. But I did it once, during the very beginning stage, when we barely knew each other. We did not live together then. I have been a good gf since then, I have never gave him reason to think I would do it again. I am not a cheater, once again, I just messed up. I made a mistake.
2007-07-31 12:04:52 · update #2
It sounds like you're a little on the younger side, I say that not to be condescending, but rather to put things into perspective. If you are indeed on the younger side or without children, learn from this mistake and move forward; you will allow him the same opportunity by doing this.
Unfortunately, once you cheat (whether it was only you who is guilty, or both of you is irrelevant at this point), a significant amount of trust is lost, not to mention your reputation and credibility. It also affects how others regard you as a person. It takes years to rebuild that trust and it is only rebuilt with the inclusion of patience, understanding, personal accountability for the damage you've caused, and time. You must remain consistent in your disposition. If you are going to cheat without first letting the person know what problems your relationship is facing, you are not mature enough to have a committed relationship. Even if you are 40 and you cheat, you have some work to do on yourself.
If not, accept that as part of who you are, and refrain from relationships of the committed kind. Cheating is never acceptable. What if it were a business deal someone cheated or lied in? Would you be likely to conduct business with this person again? Not at all likely. Either learn from your mistake and take the pain that comes with it, or accept this part of who you are and be honest and ethical about it. i.e. not lying to anyone else.
2007-07-31 12:37:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
During that first 1 month and 1/2 you created the image of who you are in his eyes and that was a cheater. You may never be able to rebuild yourself because that is what you taught him about you. I wish you luck
2007-07-31 19:30:35 · answer #2 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably did some stuff two...i wouldnt feel bad for being with someone else while you guys had no contact with each other...it was all the way in the beginin of the relationship...who cares...you chose to be with him and if he cant accept that then maybe you guys shouldnt be together
2007-07-31 18:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by CoCoBrown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cheated. He really has no reason to trust you now. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
2007-07-31 19:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tough breaks, you cannot get his trust back, ever. Once a cheater, always a cheater. That is a character flaw.
2007-07-31 18:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you cheated. he shouldn't take you back. i'm surprised you still live together. it'll take time, and you need to sit back and wait on him. he might never trust you fully, which would be unfair to both of you to continue in the relationship.
he's a better person than i would be.
2007-07-31 18:58:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont do anything stupid and time. Lots and lots of time and thats if hes still really truly interested in you now.
2007-07-31 19:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you are doing. There is no magic spell that will make him trust you. This takes time.
2007-07-31 19:09:22 · answer #8 · answered by moeschk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is what you get for cheating!!
2007-07-31 18:56:54 · answer #9 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋