Family - December 2007

Here is my issue..... Every year my parents choose to invite all their friends to Christmas dinner. In addition, last year they invited all the extended family too, that I might add, brought all their crazy boyfriends. I have asked my mother to just have our family for Christmas day, so that we (Meaning, my brothers family and mine) can have a quiet, special Christmas. I have been asking this for years. This year was supposed to be the year. Or so I was told by my mother. She now claims that because of her being sick and having to take pain medication for a bad ear infection, that she doesn't remember ever having our conversation about it. Even if it were the case, I have asked every year.I just found out that she invited her friends AGAIN. I had to say to her," We respectfully decline your invitation this year." Now I am getting the third degree from my father.Things seem like they will never change. They won't take our feelings or my brothers family's into account. Should I go?

2007-12-21 06:23:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have a mother that I truely love very much and all she does is talk about my grandmother, uncle and yes, even her own daughter's all the time. I believe she suffer's from bi-polar. The problem is she never stops bad mouthing everyone. Everytime she calls it downing someone. Sad to say it's mostly family. Now Christmas is 4 days away and my grandmother wants nothing to do with her anymore or my uncle even my brother-n-law. The family always got together every holiday season and my sister calls me and tells me everything she is saying about us. My nerves are shot. I'm on xanax now. I'm the softhearted one of the family and I actually had to block her number from reaching me anymore. it's hurts me to do this but my health is being affected now. Is this wrong of me to do? My poor grandmother helped her out and her son several times and this is how were all being treated. Please someone help me to make me feel better!!!

2007-12-21 06:21:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm being pressured to "join in" my mom's family from her 2nd marriage. I dislike her husband intensely (for good reasons) and the rest are strangers to me. I've made this clear, but still there's the pressure and guilt to come out and visit. I'm 45 and feel like I've already served my time as the "good son" in the 1st marriage. Help!

2007-12-21 06:07:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok, my boyfriend's dad apparently got kicked out of his wife's house, and HIS parent's house, and now is trying to come stay with me and my boyfriend. I really like his dad, but I honestly don't want him living with us. He doesn't work, he is an alcoholic, he smokes pot, and is a convicted felon! I don't want that in our home, we work too hard! Plus, I know he won't contribute to our household so we will be taking care of him while he lays around all day, and I don't want him in our house by himself when we are at work! And not only that, but he will be around 24/7 and we won't be able to go anywhere or do anything without him tagging along, which I hate! Not to mention if we get into a fight or something. I just won't be comfortable. How can I talk to my boyfriend about this, and tell him how I feel, without sounding cold and uncaring? I do feel bad for his dad, but I know he brings a lot on himself, and he shouldn't depend on his 20-year old son and me to take care of him.

2007-12-21 06:06:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

My relationship with my oldest stepchild is non-exsistant. He is 19, and moved out of our home four months ago because he decided he didn't want to live by any rules. He is now living with his mother (who is also remarried) and she has helped turn him against both his father and myself. There are no rules at her house, he comes and goes as he pleases. My hubby has tried having a few dinners out with him to try and explain our side of things and tell him what will be expected of him if he would like to have a normal relationship with him, and that includes apologizing to me for mistreating me for no reason. The child has rejected his father over and over again and is very rude and disrespectful even though he has done nothing but be there for the kid in every way. Any ideas on what we can do going forward? My hubby is waiting for him to accept responsibility for his actions and to apologize, but I'm afraid that day is never going to come. Thanks for your help!

2007-12-21 05:07:46 · 17 answers · asked by Marina 7

Ok so I was adopted when I was around 7, this was an international adoption so it was closed. Once I received a letter when I was 8 or 9 from my biological parent asking for cash but my adoptive parents discarded it, because, I mean who asks an 8 yr old for cash, right?!

Anyways later on my biological mother and brother would make contact with me again via email, everything was fine in talking with them until they began asking for money , I'm not a bad person so initially I would send some cash ($200 )every 3 months or so.
I work, and my husband does too, but he began to say that I didn't have to, and I kinda agreed, we were having trouble paying for our 3 yr old daughters daycare and so on. So my question is, is it right for them to keep on asking, when I have said I don't think it's appropiate or my responsibility,

I feel that the only reason they talk to me is to ask for something, it's never to just say hi, I don't want to feel guilty. So what should I do?

2007-12-21 04:18:12 · 30 answers · asked by SP 3

I wrote 2 weeks ago, asking how do you let go. I got some great encouragement and advice, so in order to not have the pain popping up when I least expect it decided I needed to say goodbye. I confront him a bit asking him why he didn't return phone call and that I didn't want one side relationship. He said "you are breaking up," referring to phone. I said "yes, in more than ways than one." Soon after the phone went dead or he hung up, perhaps unable to deal with what I was going to say. Who knows? I called back and left a message about his actions speaking volumes and said good bye telling him that it is best for me and my family to just let go, meaning I would not contact him again and let him be as I am just getting hurt over and over again. But today I feel sad that I had to do this to protect myself from further pain, is this normal? And I worry about hurting him?

2007-12-21 03:59:03 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-12-21 03:42:23 · 19 answers · asked by genius 2

,i have asked her not to she says she wanted it done ,her hair is now shorter then that what can i do

2007-12-21 03:05:40 · 20 answers · asked by suzywong 4

2007-12-21 03:01:49 · 2 answers · asked by holla 2

We parted badly, because of his alcohol and gambling issues. I am conflicted. I had trusted him in my youth, and got hurt. The lack of a father in my life (he left my Mom when I was a small child) has affected me greatly; I want to reconcile and repair the relationship or at least get proper closure. But do I trust a 73 year old man who I really don't know anymore and who has hurt me in the past? I am really lost on this one and it keeps me up at night.

2007-12-21 02:40:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husbands family is crazy. His brother is a lazy good for nothing pig and his mother is a messed up ***** that won't make any effort. My husband knows how I feel but he also knows that I will be polite around them and that if he wants to see them, he can. I don't keep my boys away from them but I also don't make an effort to get them over to see them anymore. Years ago we shared a home with the brother and it was hell...everything was our fault and still is. The father died and we moved in the mother (I never had an issue with that) with us. Things change between her and I right away. Now I was a ***** and could do nothing right. She talked down to me all the time. With both of them after me my anger grew and I started to hate them. Then came the "choose us or the *****". My husband laughed at them and me moved out a short time later. Over the years it has gotten worse. I love my hubby but really, how much longer do I need to be nice to people who can't be nice to me? Please help

2007-12-21 02:37:42 · 34 answers · asked by queenbee 4

or will that just cause issues....it is Christmas and I wanna keep the peace. i wan't everyone to be happy. (my son's FATHER will probaly be there)

2007-12-21 02:29:05 · 4 answers · asked by life guru 5

what kind of flowers do you get an old hag in the hospital? I have to go today and really really dont want too. What can you suggest? Maybe something that takes away the smell of dead people.

2007-12-21 02:28:42 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have four sisters and one brother. My mother buys for everyone but my sister and me. I do not want a gift but I feel her behavior is wrong. She did not send my sister a card but sent me one. I realize xmas is for children.. I am the youngest in the family and my sister is second oldest and we are all adults. Do parents usually buy for adult children, what is your tradition and would you just ignore a parent like this?

2007-12-21 02:04:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

my mom died on sunday.my younger sister has guardianship and so far has not told me or my siblings what is going on.meanwhile my mom is laying at the coroner office. as you can probably tell we have not got along in the past.she is a scammer and control freak.my mom has one sister who is extemely wealthy and i think she is going to use this to scam my aunt.by telling her no one cares and she has to take care of my mom by herself.my siblings and i are more than willing to take care of my mom.but my sistr will not call us to let us know what is going on.she has moved and i don't have her number.her daughter who i talk to everyday has not called me either.i have not been able to sleep for 5 nights.is there any legal action i can take.?if i don't hear anything today i will try legal means.help!

2007-12-21 01:55:16 · 10 answers · asked by pdk3@sbcglobal.net 2

im muslim n i live in iraq, baghdad...viel is optinal in my religion but my father is very strict n he very religous..i tried to talk 2 him n tell him that i dont want it but he threated me ..if i said no again he will hurt me..i have no place 2 run..no ppl i no who can help me..what should i do..plz help me

2007-12-21 01:33:55 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

on every single special occassion, they go on a holiday and don't celebrate with your family and their grandkids. Doesn't matter if it's Easter, a birthday or Christmas.

2007-12-21 00:33:16 · 16 answers · asked by Yummy♥Mummy 6

Every year my husband gives his dad a birthday present and christmas present. My father in law never gives one back. We thought it was weird but we just figured he was being tight.

We got married last year and he didnt even get us a card to wish us well, even though we get on really well. Again we were a bit insulted, but didnt say anything.

This year my son was born, again, nothing. Its my sons first Christmas and his grandad didn't get him a card or a present (i know this for sure.) I dont expect him to spend lots of money but a small gesture would have been nice. He is quite well off so money isn't the problem.

I'm not usually materialistic, but i just feel insulted and a little worried about how i'm going to explain to my son when he is older why my parents make the effort and his other grandad doesn't even bother with him.

2007-12-20 21:19:20 · 18 answers · asked by aceventura 1

2007-12-20 20:11:47 · 34 answers · asked by Ashwani B 1

Im 15, living with my mum dad and sister. I know ive caused them a loto f aggrivation over the years, im seeing a theropist and have deression. YEsterday they rang me when i was with my boyfriend tellign me to come home, i said no. In the end they came and foundme, brought me home and told me i wasnt part of the family. My lose friends' parentsh ave offered to ttake me in for as long as i need to give me and my aprents both soem time to think. I think this will be a good way becausei t will solve problems. My mums telling me i cant go. I wnat to go. What do i do, i cant bare to stya here anymore

2007-12-20 20:09:31 · 13 answers · asked by Emily 2

i was a daddys girl and i never realized how much my daddy loved me till he was gone now my mom just talks to me when she needs me to babysit my sisters grandchildren i do not work i have never told my mom no in 43 years of my life i believe in respect for her i love her very much she will not even speak to my grown children

2007-12-20 19:53:11 · 7 answers · asked by ggmlls 1

My aunt and cousin are close, not just mom and lil girl close, but like best friends. They do to parties together, drink together, when my aunt and uncle fight, he is also fighting with his daughter, and when she fights with whoever she is with, her mom gets involved. My aunt attends raves with her and her friends, sleeps in her room with her, and lets her older male friends stay the night, even once telling one to sleep in her 16 year old daughters room, who woke up to a grown man on the floor next to her bed. My aunt flirts with her daughters friends, gives her the credit card, and then lies when her husband asks where the money went. She even lets her daughter have sex with guys in her and her husbands bed while he is at work, walking in and out while they are going at it. They seem proud f this behavior, and tell the whole family how close they are, and say me and my mother should bond more. My family acts like this is normal. Am I crazy, or is this just weird? The mom is in her ..

2007-12-20 19:04:31 · 9 answers · asked by Sammie Jo 3

When I look back:
I look at my Father who worked hard everyday of his life to support his family.
I look at my Mother who stretched a buck until it broke.
Back when I was a kid we could not afford such a thing as a TV dinner,at that time 19 cents each,but to feed a family that was $1.00 that could be spent on 3 square meals for a family of four.
Now in the days where there is a TV in every room and at least one PC in the house, apparently this is the standard of living anymore.
Do we have a loving family, a job to support this family and a country that will support this freedom.
If yes then we don't have it so bad.
MERRY CHRISTMAS & GOD BLESS THE USA

2007-12-20 19:01:04 · 6 answers · asked by george b 2

My aunt is always borrowing my books. You should know I collect them, often rare and expensive ones, I like series and keep everything in good condition, basically I love my books. I am not close to this aunt, but she is always calling asking for this book or that, and when I try to get around letting her borrow them, she tells my grandma, who give me a guilt trip. I know it could be worse, but I hate feeling selfish. She doesn't return then in a decent amount of time, sometimes months later, and when they come back they have stains, are bent and creased, etc. Yes, they still "work", but they aren't in the same shape I gave them to her in. Now she wants a 5 book series of mine that cost close to $200, one is signed by the writer! How do I refuse with out causing family drama?

2007-12-20 18:59:54 · 10 answers · asked by Sammie Jo 3

Were In my room tonight just laying down watching movies on my bed. We weren't doing anything just cuddling and kissing We had the door wide opened and it was only early. And My mom walks in and starts freaking Like screaming at me. I'm 15 grade 9. My boyfriend is the same age. We dated for 2 years and 3 months. Did I do anything wrong? I just don't get it? Can anyone explain. I just cant belive she doesnt trust me.

2007-12-20 18:49:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Most of my husbands family doesn't like me, and my husband has made sure over the years that I know it. My father in law doesn't speak to me, and because he doesn't want to see me he doesn't see our child anymore. I have been called some nasty names and labeled as someone that I don't even know by these very judgemental people. I wish I had enough room to write the things that his family has done!
I was expected to fit a mould, just like his first wife, but in being true to myself I never changed enough to fit in, and neither did she. I have done alot for my husband (drug & gambling problems) and his father (failing business), but everything has gone unappreciated. There's no give and take here! My husband has never stuck up for me in front of them, even when he should have. If anything, he becomes childlike around them. In any case, we've been invited to family xmas functions, and just the thought of being around his family gives me major anxiety. Am I obligated to go?

2007-12-20 18:39:15 · 10 answers · asked by ­Das  2

Question Details: to investigate me and my husband. My Probation Officer told me I'm a wonderful mother 99% of the time, but the other 1% worries her greatly. So they're coming, and bringing the cops because they don't expect us to be cooperative, and may expect us to be combative. I am torn between wanting to show I'm a good parent by cooperating, and being furiously protective of my family and its privacy. I feel like I'm going to burst. Any advice? I don't even know what category to place this question in.

2007-12-20 18:22:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a 31 year old married Mother of 2. I have always tried to be an adult but do to a major illness I have been unable to work for about 3 years and my husband and I ran into some financial difficulty and we were helped by my parents.We were very greatful. But now my Mother reminds me on a daily basis about how they bailed us out. We have offered to make payments as often as we can but she "won't hear of it" My mom used to be a wonderful Grandmother but now she is always short with my children, never seems happy to see them,and dotes on there cousin right in front of them. My mom has some problems seperating them from me. I can handle her being mad at me though i am still not sure what I dd so wrong. I have tried to talk to her about it but, it didnt seem to work.

2007-12-20 18:10:03 · 6 answers · asked by Sandra K 4

my sister inlaw is 6 years younger then myself.

2007-12-20 17:26:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous