My aunt is always borrowing my books. You should know I collect them, often rare and expensive ones, I like series and keep everything in good condition, basically I love my books. I am not close to this aunt, but she is always calling asking for this book or that, and when I try to get around letting her borrow them, she tells my grandma, who give me a guilt trip. I know it could be worse, but I hate feeling selfish. She doesn't return then in a decent amount of time, sometimes months later, and when they come back they have stains, are bent and creased, etc. Yes, they still "work", but they aren't in the same shape I gave them to her in. Now she wants a 5 book series of mine that cost close to $200, one is signed by the writer! How do I refuse with out causing family drama?
2007-12-20 18:59:54 · 10 answers · asked by Sammie Jo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't know if you can avoid the drama, but sometimes we have to tolerate some family drama to protect ourselves. You are perfectly within your rights not to loan out your books. As a bibliophile myself, I perfectly understand your feelings. You are not selfish if you set limits on what you lend to folks, esp. if they have borrowed before and didn't respect your property. Ask yourself, "Why should I feel guilty and selfish? Shouldn't Gran. talk to auntie about her lack of respect for your property? Shouldn't Auntie be made to feel guilty and irresponsible for her actions?" I'm not saying don't lend her any books, but I am saying don't lend her any of your VALUABLE books. A little drama is worth the expense of protecting what's yours.
2007-12-21 02:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by P. C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to get grandma to stop calling you, you'll need to put on your big girl panties and firmly tell grandma, "No." IT IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA TO LOAN MONEY, especially to a family member. If you need to tell a little white fib, then just tell her, that you didn't get as much back as you thought you might from your taxes. Don't let this come between you and your grandma. Just pick up the phone and call her... after you tell her, "No." just resume normal conversations with her. Grandma's are so special... so let her know how special she is by calling her five or more times a day... and don't make apologies about not loaning the money, that will just reopen that dialogue and you don't want to revisit that awkwardness, and if she brings it up, politely change the subject. )^_^)
2016-05-25 06:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her a library card for Christmas. If you're grandma gives you a guilt trip, tell her you have a lot of money invested in your collection and everything your aunt borrows comes back damaged.
2007-12-20 19:04:07 · answer #3 · answered by daydream183 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would call the aunt and politely explain that while you certainly wouldn't mind sharing appropriate items with her, your books are one of your most prized possessions and that you don't just read them, you collect them. Maybe try mentioning that each time a book is read it decreases in value... I'd also try to explain this to your grandma. Maybe you can think of something either of them hold close and compare it to that. I collect books too and I'm a stickler, so good luck!!!
2007-12-20 19:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make it your policy to only GIVE books and not to loan them. If you are not willing to give the book away then that's then end of it. Sorry I don't loan books, I only give them away and I'm just not willing to part with this one. I can tell you where to buy it used though if you're interested.
2007-12-20 19:04:28 · answer #5 · answered by eatmynipple 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to include the word NO in your vocabulary and start using it regularly.
The books are yours, and you paid good money for them. why on earth would you loan them to someone who doesn't respect the property of others?
Sometimes we have to say NO... who cares what grandma says? she didn't pay for the books.
take care of YOU for once.
2007-12-20 19:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How does she even know you have these books? do you tell her cuz if so i would stop! lol. I would think of some excuse not to let her borrow them..
2007-12-20 19:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by noturaveragegirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah.... i get u... i always hide mine and never told her about the books or anything i've got. she didn't even bother to return them to me... to her, borrow = i'll take it home and u'll never see them ever again!
2007-12-20 20:47:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hide them and say your friends borrowed them and have not return them yet.
2007-12-20 19:03:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
holy canolie.. tell her she may be taking advantage of you
2007-12-20 19:03:26 · answer #10 · answered by harysax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋