Family - May 2007

PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!


POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental MFEMFEMFE, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

2007-05-24 04:54:36 · 10 answers · asked by LONE WOLF 1

We've been together for 4.5 yrs, have 1 child together (2 yo) & I have a daughter from a previous marriage (7yo). i lived in OR all my life, as does my family. my bf's family lives in AZ. last year his mom brought up the idea of moving 2 AZ , we talked bout it & i agreed only if i could stay @ home w/kids instead of both of us working. we moved last oct & it took 2 mos for him to get a job. his family was rude 2 me & my daughter @ times when we lived with them. it took 4 mos for us 2 get our own place after bouncing between 2 of his relatives. we have a car but it just broke down- i'm stuck @ home 24/7- his family doesn't want to help w/anything we ask. my family however was ALWAYS very helpful to us & my bf acknowledges that. every time i bring up the fact that i want 2 move back home he says i'm picking on his family. he says that all he has 2 do is get a better job & i'll b happier but he won't do anything about it. he doesn't understand that i really am going 2 go crazy- HELP!

2007-05-24 04:47:56 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

She is an adult with a husband, toddler and one on the way. She mainly lies to control situations and get her own way. Her husband doesn't quite see the extent of her lies. "Love is Blind". She has been caught by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends of the family. No one wants to meddle in their marriage so they just let her contiune lying. What do you do? Yes she has been to counseling 3 times. The last time when confronted in a lie in the therapist's office she stormed out and never when back. Will their children grow up learning this trait? Also her biologial father was bipolar.

2007-05-24 04:37:48 · 8 answers · asked by proud grandma 5

im going on a trip with my boyfriend and his parents and they are paying for our room. we are paying for our food and things like that though. i dont have a job because i just got out of school yesterday and i dont have my license yet. i get them in august. he is the only one working in our relationship right now. what should we do to help them out

2007-05-24 04:37:19 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

first off my son is a great kid and has not once given me a problem.... but my son came to me and told me that he accidentally killed a prostituite... he said that he hid her body down by the ravine.... i dont want to tell on him because he is 2 weeks away from graduating from stanford and i dont want to ruin his life... he was just with her to have a good time and he pushed her and she died.... my son has never given me a problem and his grades are exceptional... he jsut said he was tired of being a virgin and wanted to get rid of his virginity... he is not helping out at soup kitches and churches in his spare time and will do that for the rest of his life... telling on him will only ruin his life.... we need the money that he will make from getting a good job to help his 2 mentally disabled brothers with their schooling... i dont know what to do... this is my most successful son and i dont want his life ruined... should i rat him out?

2007-05-24 04:32:17 · 52 answers · asked by john s 1

She's a great girl, good student, treats me w/ love. But she has many activities and I regreat I can't stay with her as long as I wish. I love talking with her, sharing her dreams, wishes, Well, last saturday I invited her for a mother/daughter day and she agreed. It was winderful, in the morning we biked, it was hard for me to keep up w/ her. In the afternoon we went to a mall, had a lot of fun, I felt like a teen, a realy wonderful day. I got so much love from her. But by 6 pm she said Mom, Now I'm going to hang out a bit w/ my friends OK? She kissed me, said Thank for the wonderful day, Love ya! and was about to leave. I got frustrated, a bit sad, she would leave me to hang out w/ other teens I said Oh no, hun, today you're mine, mom's prerrogative, today you belong to me. She got a bit frustrated but dodn't complain, kept tretai g me w/ love. We stayed together until 11 pm, it was great. Then, she fell asleep on the couch and I had the chance to put her to bed.

2007-05-24 04:30:06 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am using my daughter's account to ask this, I dont have my own.

I need ideas for her graduation party. I want her to have as many memories of this day as possible. She is a photographer so she will be taking the pictures herself.

What I have so far, is a notebook for all the guest to sign the leave her messages and advice. I need some other ideas.

2007-05-24 04:22:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

My mom told me last night that she hopes she dies soon. I'm 20 years old, and have been dating a guy since my sophomore year of high school. We're planning on getting engaged soon, and she knows this. She knows that I want her to walk me down the aisle, she knows that I want her to be around when I have kids. Why is she doing this to me??

I still live at home because I'm too afraid to move out for fear of leaving her alone. My dad is a truck driver so he's only home on weekends, and she hates her marriage anyway.

I have a brother, but he lives out of state and never comes home and rarely calls. I'm the one who has to hear the complaints from my mom and dad about the other. I'm the monkey in the middle.

She sat a card at my place on the kitchen table. Its a card that she filled out a while ago about if she dies she wants her body donated to medical science. Why would she dig it up now? And why would she sit it at MY place setting?

I feel like I'm to blame for it all... help.

2007-05-24 04:20:26 · 18 answers · asked by Megan Deann 1

I just found out that my brother is actually my half brother. The worst part is that he knows and his wife does too. But my mom will not tell him. His wife would like to know who his real father is due to health reasons for their little girl (just in case). I kinda suspected it when we were little, my dad didnt treat him like he did with me and my sister. Well, actually I didnt get treated right either, my little sister was the baby and got everything. But anyway, I was wondering how do I find out his real father (living or deceased) if our mom will not tell him?

2007-05-24 04:19:29 · 6 answers · asked by adelek01 2

THERE IS ALSO AN 8 YR OLD THAT HE SHARES WITH HIS EX-WIFE. THE 12YR OLD IS JUST TIRED OF PLAYING MOM. THERE MOM WORKS A GRAVE YARD JOB AND LEAVES THEM WITH A SITTER. AND ON WEEKENDS THE 12YR OLD BABYSITS HER SISTER AND COUSINS WHILE THEY GO OUT FOR THE EVENING. I THOUGHT IN SOME STATES AT THE AGE OF 12 THE CHILD COULD CHOOSE WHICH PARENT THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH. WE ARE IN THE STATE OF TEXAS. I HOPE SOMEONE CAN LEAD US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

2007-05-24 04:12:44 · 9 answers · asked by stepmom 1

im 22 years old, my daughter just turned 2, we just moved and im not very familiar with my area, and my family only has one car and my husband needs it for work. so i am stuck in my house all day every day, with nothing better to do than clean my house and play baby games. dont get me wrong now, i know what my responsibilities are, and i love spending time with my daughter, but i need a change and fast!! im becoming so restless with my inactive lifestyle, it is beginning to give me stomach pains, and im losing motivation to get off the couch some days.. any advice? ill take anything you guys have at this point.

thanks in advance.

2007-05-24 04:11:49 · 29 answers · asked by I~LOVE~BATMAN 3

Everyone has a turning point when they realize life is not what i thought it was. What is it that changed afterwards, too?

2007-05-24 04:04:55 · 10 answers · asked by Alle Leigh 1

My sister, her husband, and their two kids all live with my mother. My mother takes care of the kids while my sister and her husband work. My mother has no life outside of my sister and her family, and in some ways this has affected my relationship with my mother. She is hardly ever available to speak or hang out with me and does not even have her own bedroom! She shares a room with one of the kids.
While I was in college and even a little after, my mother and my sister's husband were the only ones working (my sister did not work and I was living with my now husband). Then my mother lost her job (because she was so tired from taking care of my sister's kids, she would over sleep). My mother eventually dropped out of life. They were on the verge of losing their place when my sister finally stepped up and got a job. Now, my mother does not work, but she takes care of the kids full time. She has no life of her own. I blame my sister for the state of things.
What do you think?

2007-05-24 04:01:46 · 6 answers · asked by New Moon Daughter 6

I moved out after a graduated and turned 18. Not of defiance or rebellion, I couldn't handle the emotional abuse in my home of origin. I had a son and my mother led the attack to take him away. In my naivte, I thought that she was trying to do what's right. I had to go to court to prove I was good enough. My parents got a divorce after my father was unfaithful and the abuse got worse. Comparing the sins of my father to my mistakes, labeling me as my mistakes and a disappointment, telling me I wasn't welcome and I'd not make a descent mother. She was opposite of what a mother should be. The free-spiritedness of me was on lockdown from the beginning and I so desire to break free. How do I stop the leaking of her thoughts into my head? How does healing begin if she doesn't see she was ever wrong? How do I set boundaries with her and not still have foolish hope in a mother set in her negative ways? I tell myself she loves me but no love is harsh and abusive.....

2007-05-24 03:57:56 · 6 answers · asked by Alle Leigh 1

I am 21 and moved out of my parents home almost a year ago. My husband and I live in Germany. I am now moving back (my own place) because my husband is being deployed to Iraq. Since I was 16 I have had 3 cars that were all at least 10 years old, and didnt last over 2 or 3 years. My dad has helped me get a few of them (all under $1,000) but my mom was never really able to. A few years ago my mom got in a better financial situation and just a few months ago, got herself a brand new car. She gave her old car, a 02 jeep Liberty to my 16 year old sister. I think this is really unfair. I think she should have given me the jeep and I would give my sister my 90 Ford Explorer. I had to drive crap cars when I was a teen, why not her? Its not that I expect my mom to give me things for the rest of my life, I just think that since she is in a position to give a good car away, it should go to the older more responsible daughter, especially since I was never given anything like that. Am I wrong?

2007-05-24 03:42:39 · 7 answers · asked by Amanda D 2

My mother had a retirement party I, my brother & my aunt were invited to. I heard my aunt say to my brother "don't forget about Saturday." I didn't ask "what's Saturday?" My mother doesn't have her sister around.....she may talk to her on the phone but there's no contact between me & my aunt. It just hurt me that she invited my brother & not me to her anniversary. Should I tell her this hurt me? Or should I just let it go? I've never done anything to her. I've never even had a single conversation with her. If I did talk to her I'd say "Do you remember mom's retirement party? I heard you say to * don't forget about Sat." I saw the photos I just wanted to say it hurt me that you didn't invite me." That is all I would say. Should I?

2007-05-24 03:39:33 · 8 answers · asked by ? 2

my boyfriend & I have been together for 3 years. Im 8 months pregnant. We plan on getting married some day but Im having problems with his mother. first problem is that she smokes pot. When I was sitting in the other room she was smoking with her friends, I feel like she doesnt care about the health of her grandchild. My boyfriend asked her to stop and then last night she did it again. I feel very disrespected & that she doesnt care. Also, the attitude that she has towards me makes me feel like she doesnt want me there. I dont feel comfortable there. He wants to stay home. Everytime I get pissed off about something she says or does, he always tries to make excuses for her. I feel like she is more important than me and his son. I would never ask him to not talk to his mother, or choose me over her. I would just like him to talk to her & for her to have some respect for us as parents. She has made it seem like i have no say about my son, that its all about her & my boyfriend. help!

2007-05-24 03:36:17 · 7 answers · asked by -----------n 2

The reason I ask is I'm adopted. And growing up my parents were never there for me. They had 3 of their own kids and give them all the time in the world. They say I love you to them and have yet to tell me. My mom decided to be a stay at home mom when I was in high school to raise her kids. They are 5-8 years younger than me. I'm 32 years old now and with my own kids.
My brother's and sister have grown and have families of their own yet my parents call them DAILY or email DAILY. They never call me or email me to see if we are all (me and my kids) are okay.
What did I do to make them not love me? I feel so unwanted. I also feel detached...I have a loving loyal husband and 3 beautiful kids but I don't feel a bond with any of them. I love them but I can't get close to them. I see my siblings and my parents that are super close and I don't understand or relate. Am I just not normal?
My parents buy them things (cars, houses) and I got nothing.

2007-05-24 03:22:49 · 27 answers · asked by justuraverageperson 2

My 22 year old daughter asks her boyfriend to help around the house when he stays with her, she still lives at home. I have 2 other children 16 and 6 I do not feel it is appropriate for her to ask him to hang out all of our laundry including undies.

What do you think.... its not an issue its just that anything goes with her and him and anytime I raise these issues she acts as if I have issues.

2007-05-24 03:07:44 · 24 answers · asked by BettyBoop 3

Recently my daughter started, or got caught with marijuana. Now she is in a lot of trouble. She shows no remorse. Her answer is that I should get over it, deal with it. She has no idea how this has hurt me or our family. I do not approve of this type of behavior. She is only 13. How shoul I deal with this. I don't want drud addicts in my house.

2007-05-24 02:43:01 · 9 answers · asked by val06 1

what am i supposed to say?

2007-05-24 01:46:25 · 25 answers · asked by twister 1

I 've moved around alot to different states sence I was about 9 years old and I find myself doing the same thing now that I'm older adn have children and it's not just moving around but different things like cars I get tired of the same car quickly like in a month I don't like it anymore, and I left my husband lots a times we ended up back together but I don't know why I feel this way about everything please help me!!!!!!

2007-05-24 01:38:25 · 5 answers · asked by lovely 2

My daughter who will be a senior next year came to me and asked to have a small gathering (max. 10 kids) over to celebrate the last day of school. She asked if they could drink. She stated she would rather be home instead of at a wild party and just hang out with her close friends. My husband and I agreed and stated they all had to spend the night (collect keys) and that we would be monitoring the alcohol (what they brought-we dont provide) and would make sure there is plenty of food. Am I totally nuts for doing this?

2007-05-24 00:57:31 · 17 answers · asked by TTG 1

Okay, I have asked this question before and got a bunch of insulant answers, like grow up, you knew what you were getting into when you married him etc.

Now, I have bent over backwards to be a good step-mom. Taking the kid and his friends to the movies (paid for the whole thing), buy his clothes (dad is too cheap to front me money for it). Take him places. Planning things to do over summer vacation. Clean his pissy sheets because he still wets the bed at age 11.

I have a fully grown son who is on his own and I am kind of starting over. This kid never had any rules to speak of, refuses to do his homework, plays me against his father, has the hygiene habits of a pig wallowing in mud, and is totally disrespectful.

What should I do now? Don't say send him to his mom, cause she is dead. Is there anything I can do? Or am I just wasting my time, should cut my losses and get the hell out. The father isn't much help, he just looks the other way.

2007-05-24 00:23:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

first year she do good job. but now not so. She take care my baby from birth. and she stay and sleep in my house. sometimes she like to use my things (cosmetics, eat my foods etc). Now she very often to do not polite. Should I say the hard words to her?

2007-05-23 23:53:59 · 3 answers · asked by angel a 1

Here is my ordeal, I have 3 children. 2 daughters ages 12, 10 and a son who is 9. My oldest daughter because of her behavior had a horrible school year and barely passed to get promoted to middle school, and she thinks she deserves a party, and also keep in mind she has been very mean to her other siblings also. My younger daughter has gotten straight a's all year long. And my son has done his best all year long has gotten mostly a's, b's, and 1 c. Do you think I should through her a party???? Part of me feels I have devoted so much time trying to get her to pass, that I have neglected my other two children.

2007-05-23 23:24:01 · 12 answers · asked by TAMIKA T 1

would paul burrie for him and he said yes and then a few hours before the services he backed out he didnt go to any of the services and now he blames me for it he says i am the reason he didnt because we got into a fight but he always said he cared so much for dad dad and i were very close and he knew that what do i do after 8 years of being with him i cant forgive he wasnt there when i needed him the most what do you guys think

2007-05-23 23:19:07 · 5 answers · asked by babykate1234 1

I live in South Africa and wondering if i should move to australia i have alot of problems with my mother i think its mainly because im the only child and she never lets me go out well only if they family my age maybe but other than that i stat at home and whats worse is that alot of guys ask me out but i cant go because my mother wont let me so most of the guys call me a ice queen because i always say no so thats why i want to move and have a free life and do what i want to do but i dont want to be selfish to and just leave my family and if i stay it will be my old story .

2007-05-23 22:30:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Just recently, my daughter introduced me to a african fellow by the name of... I forgot his name.

He is profficient in his use of slang, and frankly, doesn't seem to fit in with my family's comparsoie. He doesn't appear to have redeeming qualities either.

My daughter is 17. How shall I interfere and rid my daughter of this menace?

2007-05-23 21:08:37 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

My mum was the sweetest, most generous, most selfless person you could possibly imagine. She would do anything for anyone, anything I asked her to do.
Then BAM! Menopause struck! My gentle mother suddenly became a savage monster, throwing coffee cups because the lunch my father brought home for her was on the wrong bread, feeding my babies full-sugar diets despite me telling her it was bad for them and asking her to stop. She turned gossipy with her friends. She'd go from happy to vicious in 10 seconds. And so many other horrible things, I can't fit them all here. Now, we put up with this, and tried to understand that it was her hormones and not her doing this, and that she had no control over it.
She's been on hormone replacement and her levels have been normal for over 5 years now, so why is she still devil-woman? It got so bad that I've had to keep her out of my life. It's just on a year now since I've spoken to her. I miss my mum. Anybody have a similar situation?

2007-05-23 20:29:27 · 4 answers · asked by CheeseFest 2