My fiance has a 12 yr old that no longer wants to live with her mom,what can we do?

Question

THERE IS ALSO AN 8 YR OLD THAT HE SHARES WITH HIS EX-WIFE. THE 12YR OLD IS JUST TIRED OF PLAYING MOM. THERE MOM WORKS A GRAVE YARD JOB AND LEAVES THEM WITH A SITTER. AND ON WEEKENDS THE 12YR OLD BABYSITS HER SISTER AND COUSINS WHILE THEY GO OUT FOR THE EVENING. I THOUGHT IN SOME STATES AT THE AGE OF 12 THE CHILD COULD CHOOSE WHICH PARENT THEY WANT TO LIVE WITH. WE ARE IN THE STATE OF TEXAS. I HOPE SOMEONE CAN LEAD US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

Answer 1

Typically the child's wishes will be respected at about age 12-14 depending on the state. You will likely need to petition the court for a hearing. The ex will be notified and she will be given copies of all filings so be diplomatic if you are concerned about keeping things civil.

I helped my daughter-in-law get back custody of her son from her mother. It was rather easy, but like I said Mom got copies of all the letters to the court that I had written for my daughter-in-law.

Answer 2

Go to court for custody, I think you have a great shot just for the fact that the mother is not home at night to make sure dinner is taken care of, homework, and any other parenting duties she cannot do when she is working. It seems like you can prove that you have a more stable home enviroment. We have a deal with my fiance's ex that she picks the children up from school and drops them off at out house at 7:30 p.m. so they can shower, do homework, and get to sleep at a decent time, I take them to school in the morning and we start all over. She gets them overnight everyother weekend. Good Luck!

Answer 3

First of all, if you don't live in the house, you don't know the whole story. Second, this is a child who doesn't want to live with her mother? This is a CHILD. They don't make the decisions, not for something like this. Third, this mother is doing all she can to care for her children. Sometimes that means graveyard.
If the children were placed with the mother to being with, then there had to be a good reason for that. All you can do is support your fiance. Your not involved in anyway in the situation. Whatever the relationship maybe that he has with his ex, that's his business. You have no part in that. Let him decide what he wants to do. Maybe he could step up, be a man, and offer to help out by taking care of his children on the weekends...

Answer 4

The 12 year old isn't having the life of a 12 year old. Too much responsibility and no freedom.

Suggest family court, your fiance should make the judge aware of what sort of life the 12 year old has, she will also need to explain.

12 year old is under age. I am sure there is a custody agreement that needs to be reviewed.

Answer 5

Everyone has their own idea as to what a "perfect" family is - sadly none of their expectations are realistic.

Counselling my dear! It's really needed.

Blending this family is not going to be easy - and you need to make sure you have your needs met as well as everyone else's.

Do this now - so you don't come back to this forum crying about what brats your step-children are -- or vice-versa about stepmother.

Answer 6

my husband also has a 12 yr old daughter and she lives with us full time and let me tell you it is not easy at all.. this is the stage where they start learning who they want to start becomming and for us is respect i do everything for her just as if she were my own and i dont get any respcet from her or my husband about it he always thinks that i'm always out to get her in trouble with him and she thinks that i dont treat her the same as my 2 boys that are under 2 they need alot more diffrent attention as her, she always wants to keep locked up in her room.

Answer 7

Get a lawyer. They can tell you the laws better than any answer you are going to get here.

Answer 8

Document everything and file for full custody. Not an easy fight though.....

Answer 9

have you though maybe its becasue of you that the child dont wanna live ther anymore.