Recently my daughter started, or got caught with marijuana. Now she is in a lot of trouble. She shows no remorse. Her answer is that I should get over it, deal with it. She has no idea how this has hurt me or our family. I do not approve of this type of behavior. She is only 13. How shoul I deal with this. I don't want drud addicts in my house.
2007-05-24 02:43:01 · 9 answers · asked by val06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all, your 13 year old daughter is not a drug addict! And should not be treated as one. What she is doing, #1 being a rebellious 13 year old as most 13 year olds are #2 she's trying or experimenting with a substance that could cause her or lead to life long problems. Some kids seem to go through a stage that makes them want to say yes to anything you say no to, if you like it they hate it, if you say black they say white, get my point. Sadly this is a point where some make terrible mistakes that they will have to live with the rest of there life, what you have to do is be smarter than her. Accept the fact that this is a time (it's only temporary) when your opinion does not count in her mind. Be very carefull and very smart in how you deal with this. It might be a good idea to seek counsoling for yourself to help you deal with this. DONT FORCE HER TO GO. And find someone she really looks up to and respects and talk to them and see if you cant get them to start popping in a little more often and (not all of a suddun) gradually start spending some time with her, never never let her know you ask them to do this. Change the company she hangs out with, not by force but because she wants to, you just have to arrange the meeting with the kind of people that can have a positive influence on her. What ever fad she is into, there are people into that same thing but are not involved in drugs and think drugs are un cool. You know your daughter better than anyone, be creative, what are her main interest?, cheerleading, bikeing, fishing, whatever it may be, find people that she will admire, look up to, enjoy hanging out with, you know better than anyone what kind of person will draw her attention, the kind she would choose herself to go and do things with, rather than the ones she's hanging with now, find these people and see to it that they just happen to bump in to each other. At the age of 13, if this is the oldest, believe me , you are now going to find out how tough being a parent really is. Be very smart, do all your homework, get all the help you need, do not be afraid to ask, this is really more like a test for you. Make the right decisions and you and her both will be very proud. Take a hard look at yourself, maybe a minor adjustment here and there, and you could be that person that really draw's her attintion.
2007-05-24 03:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by plumber71602 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know that doing drugs is a big issue, but she is still your kid. Maybe she shows no remorse because she doesn't know the long term effect that drugs of any kind can have on a person. Get her involved with a teen group focusing on being drug free or take her to a group home full of women who are trying to get clean. Let her see how smoking weed can lead to other more dangerous drugs like crack and meth. Don't give up on her yet. She is at that rebellious stage. Work with her, encourage her and keep talking to her. Monitor her, where is she going, give her a time to get back in the house in the evening etc. She will be mad right now, but she'll appreciate you being a mom versus being a friend when she gets older.
2007-05-24 02:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a teenager who was just like she sounds. Just know that its not you, the drug will always come first to someone who is using, as they are not rational human beings. This is even more so the case in adolescents because they aren't completely rational to begin with.
If she is using recreationally, i would try and talk with her when she is not using and understand why this behavior has started. Don't come down on her too hard, or she will be inclined to rebel. (trust me, i did it, my dad was very hard on me, and i used more & more, harder drugs, etc, for years) If its the people she hangs out with, try to get her involved in other activities.
One thing i can say, is going into a treatment facility for recrational use of pot, can sometimes have the opposite effect. They meet kids with bigger and worse habits, talking about other drugs and how fun they are, etc. (i went through that too) To start, i would suggest some outpatient therapy or treatment. Maybe somewhere that she goes 2 or 3 nights a week, gets drug tested, etc.
If she continues to use, and the habit worsens, get her into an inpatient treatment program.
Feel free to email me with more questions, i am 26 now and clean for several years. I put my parents through it all and would be very willing to help out other adolecents with similar issues as I had.
Good luck, and stay strong.
2007-05-24 04:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by Dr25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to jump on this immediately. Your daughter is obviously depressed and using drugs to escape from the reality of life. She needs to be put into counseling right now. I would recommend getting her a drug evaluation and depending on the results you can have her in drug classes and group therapy. Healthy kids with healthy minds do not get into drugs at age 13. You can also have her (on your own) randomly drug tested. If you are not hard on her now and try to help this little girl with her emotional needs she could end up getting involve in other types of drugs. She is not intentionally doing this to hurt your family. She is hurting inside and is not thinking of others feelings. You need to start looking at the core of the problem not just the drug itself.
When I was young I starting drinking at a early age and experimented very young with drugs. My family chose to ignore it and I ended up moving out when I was 15 years of age and ended up in treatment at age 24. I was desperately crying out for help and everyone turned there heads.
Hold her a lot! She is crying inside!!!!! Do not ignore this. Be really hard on her and help her find her soul that seems so sad. Your anger towards her will only push her further in depression. You need to find answers and solutions!!!!! You need to fight fight fight for her.
You have to remember she is still a child and you are the adult!
2007-05-24 03:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only decision you have is to diminish touch with him to a component - kick him out, get a restraining order so he would not come and scouse borrow from you once you're out - or if he does you have some information that he's been a issue formerly. i became an addict for a time, and the only undertaking that helped me became me wanting a diverse existence - I in fact had no the place to bypass yet up, and that i did it on my own. in case you place him in rehab, it won't help till he's waiting. in case you deliver him to get help, it won't help till he's waiting. Kick him out, make him stay to tell the story on his very own, do no longer help him, do no longer supply him money. If he needs to be sure you, decide for a picinic or some thing the place you are able to fulfill in public. do no longer invite him for dinner. do no longer purchase him groceries, do no longer supply him a place to sleep. It sounds advise and merciless and your coronary heart WILL injury mutually as you are trying this, yet it truly is the only enable you're able to be able to supply him precise now. tell him you like him and whilst he's in a position to alter you would be there to assist him, yet you are able to no longer have him hurting the kinfolk any extra and he has to get by way of on his very own till he can replace - and teach he's replaced. IF he is going to rehab, and so on. Make him teach you his way of existence is diverse after - whether it truly is, and he can save a job and stay to tell the story his very own, then you definately can welcome him decrease back into your domicile. solid success!
2016-10-13 07:57:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that the drugs make them think about a fairytale world. they start thinking that the drug makes them happy or atlest forget their problems while they are high. they forget how to think with their mind and heart and loss their way. i would tell her that i love her and i will be with you no matter how long it takes to get her life back on tract. i know it will be hard to do but just remember that things will get better.sometimes they have to hit bottom before they reach for help.
2007-05-24 04:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should of spanked her ass. ground her and make her take drug test. u can get over the counter one. maybe even take her to a rehab show her what happens to druggies. or take her to the morge. let her spend sometime with the dead that o.d. its called tough love and u better get on the ball and show her whos the parent and ur rules
2007-05-24 02:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You better put our foot down before marijuana turns into cocaine or worse crystal meth.
2007-05-24 08:23:28 · answer #8 · answered by whymewhynow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat her ass and tell her no, she needs to get over it.
2007-05-24 03:33:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋