How do I get my fiance to understand i want to move back home? we live in a small town by his family..?

Question

We've been together for 4.5 yrs, have 1 child together (2 yo) & I have a daughter from a previous marriage (7yo). i lived in OR all my life, as does my family. my bf's family lives in AZ. last year his mom brought up the idea of moving 2 AZ , we talked bout it & i agreed only if i could stay @ home w/kids instead of both of us working. we moved last oct & it took 2 mos for him to get a job. his family was rude 2 me & my daughter @ times when we lived with them. it took 4 mos for us 2 get our own place after bouncing between 2 of his relatives. we have a car but it just broke down- i'm stuck @ home 24/7- his family doesn't want to help w/anything we ask. my family however was ALWAYS very helpful to us & my bf acknowledges that. every time i bring up the fact that i want 2 move back home he says i'm picking on his family. he says that all he has 2 do is get a better job & i'll b happier but he won't do anything about it. he doesn't understand that i really am going 2 go crazy- HELP!

i'm a very independent person and HATE depending on his family like this- i'd walk where i need to go but the closest convenience store is at least a mile away and the grocery store is way farther away. i've tried to fix the car myself but no one will even take me to an auto parts store or pic a parts because they don't think the car can be fixed. we are broker than broke and not good credit.

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like a fun situation. My best advice is to move somewhere in between both families.

I'm in a similar situation, I live close to my family and he hardly ever gets to see his family, and though he doesn't say it, but I know he resents the fact that I see mine all the time and he hardly sees his.

So if you don't want fighting and resentment between the two of you, you need to live in a neutral place.

I hope something works out for you soon.

Answer 2

It sounds like he does understand, but sees your desire to move back home almost like an attack on his family, and he's defensive about it. Unfortunately, in a situation like this-
you want to live in location A
he wants to live in location B
There is really little room to compromise. As unpleasant as your situation sounds, my inclination would be to set a time frame in your mind- say 9 months, encourage him to get theat better job. If, after those 9 months, your situation is still unbearable, decide what you do next. Will he relocate back to your home with you? Will he stay in the new area, but distance himself from his family, for your sake? If you are truly unhappy, your kids will sense it, and it will negatively impact them, so I hope you work something out. Good luck.

Answer 3

You enable him get a tattoo? You sound extra desirable than somewhat controlling here. i think of you the two could desire to take the time from one yet another and actually think of approximately what you're doing. it may desire to easily be the rigidity of the ultimate and the marriage even with the undeniable fact that it may desire to be some thing extra attempt some couselling, ask the pastor/priest that is going to marry you. you're able to be able to desire to resolve what is going on precise now.