My daughter is dating out of the proprietal circle?

Question

Just recently, my daughter introduced me to a african fellow by the name of... I forgot his name.

He is profficient in his use of slang, and frankly, doesn't seem to fit in with my family's comparsoie. He doesn't appear to have redeeming qualities either.

My daughter is 17. How shall I interfere and rid my daughter of this menace?

Answer 1

It sounds like the more you oppose, the more she'll want this guy. Just tell her that she needs to focus on her studies more.

Don't forbid her to see him. That's like tossing kerosene onto a raging fire. Instead, take her to places that you know has nicer guys. Arrange to have dinner at a friend's house that has a nice young guy & strategically place them together.

I can say that from personal history that forbidding someone to date a certain person hardly ever works out well. My dad forbid my older sister from dating this shiftless layabout, only to have her run away with him & quickly get impregnated. My sis is no longer with the guy & she herself has said that she probably would have soon broken up with him if she hadn't been forbidden. She liked spiting my father. It made for a good aphrodisiac.

Also, ask yourself: am I looking down on him because he's black? If he was a white guy & I met him, would I like him more?

Answer 2

Forbidding her to date him or trying to break them up is going to do nothing but backfire, hugely. Especially as a teenager, the more you try to forbid her to do something the more she's going to want to do it. All you'll do is make her start seeing him in secret and going behind your back instead of being up front and honest with you, as she's doing now.

The only arguments I see that you have against the guy are that he's black and uses slang. If you had a few decent reasons why you view him as a "menace," then it would be different. But from what you've said, you come off as simply a stuck-up rich white guy who doesn't want his daughter dating anyone other than other stuck-up rich white guys. In which case, my sincere advice to you is: get over yourself. The girl is almost 18, she's old enough to make her own decisions as to who she wants to date.

Answer 3

For him to be African and use slang is ok. The important thing is that he knows the proper way to speak in case he is on a job interview or meeting with someone else that matters. Does he treat your daughter well? Is he living a positive and righteous life? If you feel he could lead your daughter down the wrong path, and she lives in your house, just cut it off.

Answer 4

yes, you should talk to your daughter and tell her firstable is too young to going out should be entirely dedicated to her education when she is gonna get a degree after that could be going out whit anyone she wants for now she lives in your house, so is your rules, you dont like this guy bcause apparentely does not look good for you, so is enough you are the mother and you know best that's it, when she is gonna be independent she will choose he own future for now on is mama's rules.

Answer 5

The more you oppose him the more she'll like him. Teens like to upset their parents. I remember being told to be verbal on how much you like him.Of course this is meant to get rid of him. But this style of psychology can backfire if she doesn't follow the usual pattern. I hated my kids teen years,lol.

Answer 6

At her age, the more you complain, the closer she will become to this undesirable. Keep your mouth shut and hopefully it will resolve itself.

Answer 7

You dont do anything. If you push it she will want to date him more. All you can do is keep your mouth shut and hope to God she meets a Puerto Rican and falls for him and loses this guy.

Answer 8

First response is exactly correct.

Answer 9

You really should get over yourself.