My daughter who will be a senior next year came to me and asked to have a small gathering (max. 10 kids) over to celebrate the last day of school. She asked if they could drink. She stated she would rather be home instead of at a wild party and just hang out with her close friends. My husband and I agreed and stated they all had to spend the night (collect keys) and that we would be monitoring the alcohol (what they brought-we dont provide) and would make sure there is plenty of food. Am I totally nuts for doing this?
2007-05-24 00:57:31 · 17 answers · asked by TTG 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What made my husband and I agree tho this is that when we were seniors one of our friends mothers did this for us. We had a safe place-it never got out of hand and we now all educated, well adjusted, and productive adults. I dont hide the fact that my husband and I drink from our children. We have believed and studies have shown that when kids are educated about drinking and learn moderation they are not ones who will do binge drinking in high school and college. My daughter has shown to be the example of this.
2007-05-24 01:12:51 · update #1
NO, we are not providing or serving and yes the parents woulld have to know they are allowing there child to drink.
2007-05-24 01:28:48 · update #2
great responses and will definately reevaluate my decision. my daughter may not be happy with it but a lot of you made great points that need to be addressed.
2007-05-24 01:47:56 · update #3
she wants an alcohol party.....does she also want to see her parents in jail ?
Because that's what happens to parents that server alcohol to their children's minor age friends !
Get real please = you'd be breaking the law...So you don't do it. Your not a contender for best friend of the year. As a parent your to set an example of ethics by being law abiding.
The threat that she will do it outside the home, is where you
step in with some serious discussion about drinking and
the laws in regard to it. Sorry but your destroying all you've tried to teach about honesty and character....
"a person of good character is one who does right even when no one is watching"
2007-05-24 01:41:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bad, bad idea. Doesn't matter whether you are providing or serving. If you are aware-you are contributing and, by collecting keys, you are definitely aware of the drinking. There could be legal consequences for you. You may think parents agree up front, and then find someone has come to their senses and turns you in. Is having your daughter feel cool worth the risk of losing everything? This could happen if someone sues you. She isn't a senior yet-what will she ask for then? You are raising a bar that you will have a hard time lowering. Big mistake!
2007-05-24 06:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by Katie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing you got to remember the laws are different today then when you and your husband were teenagers. It is not legal. Do the other parents know about the alcohol or do they think it's slumber party. If word gets out you could be in big trouble with the law or be sued by a parent. I use to go to party's too that had alcohol when I was a teenager too, and it was fun, but I wouldn't do that for my kids. Early drinking can lead to abuse of alcohol, and you support it. I don't think your nuts I just think that you really need to think about this a little more and see what the parents think.. I would be more then upset if my son went to a party and stayed over and was aloud to drink by the adults. I would raise holy heck.
2007-05-24 01:41:21 · answer #3 · answered by norielorie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn’t do it they say people who start drinking young are more likely to become alcoholics. What if someone drinks too much and dies of alcoholic poisoning? it can happen. Teens have ways of being sneaky, even if you try and control things. It’s nice that you want to control their environment but what happens when another parent allows this and doesn’t care if the kids stay or leaves. Or the teens decide drinking at home supervised is not enough for them; they start making fake ids or getting booze from older friends. Eventually someone gets killed or worse kills an innocent victim.
There was recently an episode of law and order SVU about this. Mother allowed daughter and school friends to drink in her presence. Some students become out of control and were always drinking, hiding in their fruit drinks etc.
FYI - you best get the permission of any Teen that is going to be there.
2007-05-24 01:22:25 · answer #4 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You would not only be nuts for doing it , you are asking for big problems. I dont know about the laws in your state, but where I live it is very much against the law, Things can get out of hand and there could be some problems.
Some parents have found them selves in court when things went wrong.'
They are not of legal age to drink and you should not provide a place for them to do so.
Think of all the legalities before you do something like this.
You cannot count on things going well with a party like this.
2007-05-24 01:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by speedchaser38 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I do not know the age of your daughter but how about respect for the laws. They are made to obey not to fit the moment. Whether your supply the alcohol or not you are 100% responsible for anything that happens as a result of them drinking. Is the only way they can have a fun party is with alcohol. You could also be charged with contributing to the deliquency of a minor. It would only take one parent reporting you, are you willing to do the time for your crimes. Also if you do not have to obey the laws how do you tell your children to.
2007-05-24 01:42:15 · answer #6 · answered by toadlytired 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From the US
Yes. You are not only nuts - you're contributing to the delinquency of minors. In otherwords, criminal. There are jail terms for this.
21 means 21.
Unless your daughter is over 21 she and her friends are under age.
Tell your spoiled brat of a daughter that either she and her friends celebrate stone-cold-sober or there will be absolutely NO parties - at your house or somewhere else - on graduation night.
Not only that - but as long as she is under 21, and you are paying her way - in any amount - she is to remain stone-cold-sober. Period.
You and your husband could be prosecuted, you can lose your jobs, your house, have a police/criminal record, and a jail sentence.
Yeah. I'd say you are completely NUTS!!!
2007-05-24 01:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The only "good" reason I can see to do this is that it would seem to be keeping the kids out of the cars and in a safer environment. It seems like a convincing argument. But would you allow drugs there, too? It's the same reasoning, doing drugs at home would provide supervision to keep things from getting out of hand. Both are illegal and I would definitely treat both as such in my house.
2007-05-24 05:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably do not want to hear what I am going to say: But have you taken leave of your senses? First off, what you are suggesting is against the law and you could wind up in jail for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Secondly, if something should happen, you are solely responsible and open yourself up to litigation by the children, the parents, and it could get really ugly. You could lose everything you worked so hard to get.
You can do what you want, you are the one taking chances. If it were me, pizza and sodas for everyone.
2007-05-24 01:29:14 · answer #9 · answered by Sr. Mary Holywater 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'd better HOPE no one gets sick/hurt/killed. It happens. You also better hope neighbors don't decide to call the law. Doesn't matter WHAT mommy and daddy say... The LAW says minors cannot drink until 21.
Personally, I'd forbid my child to go, and I'd call the police to report the party. It's irresponsible and the law is not there to be obeyed when you're in the mood.
2007-05-24 01:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋